Fear Contest entry

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Fear. It’s a word I will never understand. I sit on the edge of oblivion, my feet swing in tempo with the singing winds, and the little red glow of my cigarette still burns, the only light for miles to see. Fear of what, exactly? That is the real question.

I flick my ash and it goes flying everywhere; on my white, neatly pressed dress; on my thighs which are nearly as dark as the night itself, if that were possible. My throat burns and the wind is making my nose itch and my raven hair flies angrily about me. Two seconds away is Death—such a final sort of thing, that it should scare me somehow. But it doesn’t.

I try to see beyond the pitfall, but there’s nothing but miles and miles of empty blackness, a sort of gap that mirrors my fragmented soul. Sometimes I feel the two belong; myself and the canyon beneath my tattered shoes. One day I shall will myself over the edge, and for once, see what there is to fear. But until then, I watch a thin line of smoke curl from the butt, and I send it flying over the edge, where it meets its destiny, wherever the darkness leads.

What is there to fear in this world? Everything and everyday seems so simple to me. The choices laid out are of routine—what school to go to, what man to marry, how many children to carry, when and why and how should one die? Even death and what comes before and after seem very shallow to me, as if those things aren’t even worth pondering. The real fear lies in me. What am I capable of? What should I fear, what can I do? But I see that the world has made me, trapped, in an iron box without a key. I will never know my limitations—and that is the fear I fear the most.

With I sigh, I feel the air getting colder around me, and my skin rises to the occasion. Maybe it is simple, afterall. Perhaps the very choices of life and meaning are mine to be had, and there isn’t much to fear about them afterall. I tilt my head, studying the unknown depths beyond me, and I smile for awhile. It would only do to find out, I decide.

I stand on the edge of reason, testing the winds. I feel nothing, no fear, only a determination that I will face whatever comes my way. Without inhibitions, I leap towards the forbidden passages, and as the sky slaps my face, I am free. I am alive for once. And there is no fear to be found in my falling body.
Alice: If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?




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I really like this.
I wasn't really concentrating on anything to critique.
I could picture this character sitting on a dock with there toes in the water. I thought it was super creative. A+
caroline was here '10




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Most excellent. Of course, there are some errors...

With I sigh[/quote\

Should be "with a sigh."

Maybe it is that simple, afterall.


Should be "after all."

I flick my ash and it goes everywhre;


I think that ought to be a colon.
That's it. Great piece all around.
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Thanks guys, I'll get to the mistakes. I see I made some typos.
Alice: If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?




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I really like this, it's very well written! You have great word choice and style. :D
I found nothing wrong with this piece, so good job there :)
I loved the descriptions you used and just everything about it I really liked. It's very thought provoking.

Medusa wrote:
What is there to fear in this world? Everything and everyday seems so simple to me. The choices laid out are of routine—what school to go to, what man to marry, how many children to carry, when and why and how should one die? Even death and what comes before and after seem very shallow to me, as if those things aren’t even worth pondering. The real fear lies in me. What am I capable of? What should I fear, what can I do? But I see that the world has made me, trapped, in an iron box without a key. I will never know my limitations—and that is the fear I fear the most.

I really liked this paragraph, this is what I was talking about with being thought provoking.

Are you submitting this for the Fear Contest, you should if you're not
Nice job! Gold star for you! :D

-Carly
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This is a wonderful piece of writing. I enjoyed it. I love it how the character took the leap at the end.

Nothing grammatically wrong to point out, as the others have done it for me.

All-in-all a great read and something that made me once again appreciate the art of writing.

Have A Nice Day.
Azrael
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