All Babies Are Blessings (9)

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So here's the next chapter... Hope you enjoy

Annoyance Level: 10 Out of 10

By the time I had gotten to the shelter the first day all the girls were in their last recreation hours before bed time, so I was stuck in the room with Anya. She sat on her bed the whole night reading, and didn’t talk at all until her friends came into the room. They all looked me over, not bothering with introductions, and automatically knew my story from Anya.

Only one of the girls came to talk to me. She had a round face, full of freckles, and glasses and frizzy hair. She had a large stomach, which made her seem unbalanced, compared to her short height. She was someone I would never talk to in school, but I was forced to, seeing no one else would talk to me. She said her name was Kristie and that her story was similar, but it was her ex-best friend.

“Don’t worry about Anya, by the way. She’s just a little rough around the edges, soon enough you’ll become friends. Just don’t touch her stereo or ask her about anything personal. She’ll tell you on her own terms,” Kristie said.

“I didn’t know people around here came with a rule book,” I grumbled. She chuckled and told me I could go to her if I had any questions. Kristie, my first friend in the shelter.

Anya’s other friends didn’t talk to me at all but Kristie stayed on my bed, asking me about my friends from school and my interests. They all left at quarter to eleven. Anya gracefully lifted herself off of her bed and reached into her dresser to get some pajamas. She went into the bathroom in the far corner of our room and locked the door.

She came out after a couple of minutes. She was wearing old gym sweatpants and a shirt with a band’s logo I didn’t recognize. I was patiently waiting outside of the door, when she got out I rushed in. I spent like at least one million times the time she spent in the bathroom. I slipped on my silk nightgown and took off my makeup. I stared at my pale reflection in the mirror. I didn’t belong here. My closet at home was bigger than this bathroom and I couldn’t even imagine what that hospital bed would do to my back. I sighed and applied my nightly facial mask onto my face.

When I exited the small bathroom Anya simply blinked twice in my direction and burst our laughing.

“What?” I asked, more aggravated than embarrassed.

“Again, your clothes are ridiculous,” she chuckled.

“What is wrong with this?” I asked, gesturing to the nightgown. It was a little lacey thing my mom had bought me, it went down to my knee and it was my favorite color, pink.

“You’re just a little rich girl aren’t you?” she said, raising the eyebrow with the stud.

“Well I’m sorry if I actually care about my appearance,” I snapped.

“Why do you care? That is the question,” she said. She was amused.

I ignored her and went to lie on my bed. I fell asleep quickly, but awoke around one in the morning, screaming bloody murder.

“What’s wrong?!” Anya screamed, jumping off of her bed.

“Um, nothing, nothing at all,” I grumbled, wiping the cold sweat off of my forehead.

“If it was nothing then why did you scream?”

“It was just a disturbing dream,” I whispered. It wasn’t a dream it was the dream. The dream of Carl’s braces cutting my lip, of his clammy hands pressing into my body, of his satisfied grin.

“Well then go back to sleep,” she grumbled, obviously annoyed. She flopped back down on her bed without giving me a chance to respond, so I attempted to fall back asleep. I wasn’t successful.

I lay with my eyes open staring at the ceiling. Our door was closed but the light from the hall way flooded the crack at the floor, allowing a small amount of light through. In the ghostly light I could see the faint outlines of the furniture and the formation of Anya’s body lying on her bed. Someone walked by, making the light dance, the movement was short, staccato, but enough to make me jump. I sat for what seemed like hours, just gazing at the grey shadows in the room.

Anya started snoring loudly, interrupting my attempt at being miserable. I stared at the dark formation of the clock. The only thing I could see were the hands of the clock, glowing green with tacky glow in the dark paint. I stared into that clock until the morning, just the steady tick of the second hand and Anya’s snores, occupying my ears.

At six in the morning, I sat up in bed and the awful feeling came to my stomach. It felt as if I had just drunk a huge iced latte with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and caramel flavoring and then went on a humongous rollercoaster. I ran to the bathroom, nearly slipping on the cheap linoleum floors that filled the dorms, and stuck my head in the toilet.

Even after my wrestle with morning sickness, I stayed in the bathroom, just incase it would come back with a vengeance. Anya soon stirred and came into the bathroom. She looked at me. My blonde hair was stuck to my forehead with sweat and my skin was streaked with the frosting like facial mask. She took in my appearance for a second then laughed.

“Morning sickness?” she asked, raising one eyebrow with a cruel grin.

“Yes,” I groaned.

“Well, get up, it’ll pass. Just hurry up and wash the puke off of your face, it’s disgusting. I don’t know if you’re religious but if you don’t get up in like three seconds, you’re going to miss breakfast and the church services.” She started tapping her nails against the door frame.

“Well then can you get out? I like to shower in peace,” I snapped. She snorted a laugh and left the bathroom.
----
Yeah, it wasn't the most exciting chapter but it's just a transitioning chapter, the next one will be better I promise! :D

Thanks for reading
~Dommy
This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do,
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute?




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I liked this ALOT, because it sort of reminded me of my pregnancy. Sweet, but maybe you should talk a little bit more about her figure and how it changes that was one thing that changed me during mine, and I think you could probably make her realize that it's all the good for her baby, once a girl becomes pregnant she realizes it's not only about her anymore it's about her AND her baby, well really first her baby and then her, that's the way I went through it and I was only 14, if you have any questions or comments feel free to PM me.

-Max
We're meant to be one
I know we are...
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Then you are my star... ™




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Max,

Wow, I'm glad that you feel my writing is that believable.

As for her thinking about the baby, Isabelle's selfish and doesn't really like the circumstances of her pregnancy so she hasn't come around to thinking about its welfare yet. I promise you she will come around though, it'll just take her awhile. :)

Thanks again!

~Dommy :D
This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do,
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute?




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Hi, there!

Another nice chapter, but I thought it was stiff. It seems like you lost the flow of previous chapters when you got to the shelter, but don't worry. It just needs a little tweaking.

They all looked me over, not bothering with introductions, and automatically knew my story from Anya.


I didn't understand this sentence. They automatically knew her story? Did they read Anya's mind or did they actually learn Isabelle's story from her? This needs some clarification.

Only one of the girls came to talk to me. She had a round face, full of freckles, and glasses and frizzy hair. She had a large stomach, which made her seem unbalanced, compared to her short height. She was someone I would never talk to in school, but I was forced to, seeing no one else would talk to me. She said her name was Kristie and that her story was similar, but it was her ex-best friend.


This is a lot of information at once. I would stretch out the uncomfortable moment when the room is full of Anya's friends. Then, gradually, I would bring Kristie in and have her start a hesitant conversation with Isabelle. Maybe focus on appearance first (Isabelle seems like she would notice how someone looks before she notices how they act) and then build up their relationship.

I spent like at least one million times the time she spent in the bathroom


Don't say "like." It detracts from the flow of the story.

Someone walked by, making the light dance, the movement was short, staccato, but enough to make me jump. I sat for what seemed like hours, just gazing at the grey shadows in the room.


This is beautiful. :)

It felt as if I had just drunk a huge iced latte with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and caramel flavoring and then went on a humongous rollercoaster


Also a great description.

Don't worry about the "boring" chapters. That's where character development happens. These chapters ground the reader in concrete detail so that when the dramatic chapters come up, they seem more real.

Great job. I'll be reading.
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"That's no star...that's Fangala!"




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Anya seems to be not friendly. I can't believe that Kristie talks to her, or the other way around. It wasn't a boring chapter. I love your writing=]. can't wait to read moree!!
--Jessie.
--Jessie



But even the worst decisions we make don't necessarily remove us from the circle of humanity.
— Wes Moore, The Other Wes Moore