The One I Love

My love for her is undying
Like the endless beauty of a rose
Held between the pages of a good book

It will exist for an eternity
But will go unnoticed and unseen
Untouched and never felt

A reminder of love forgotten
Hidden from all but the one who placed it
Maybe for my love to find

Mistakes sour and regrets bitter
All that could have been, crumbling to dust
To be swept away with the cool autumn breeze

A promise to her, explained by words
The meaning promised by the heart
To stay by her side forevermore

A promise strong that cant be broken
Though we may never kiss
A friendship to be as strong as love

Times importance diminished
The clocks tick of no relevance
Forever in my dreams we will be together

aww... this is sweet

i love this poem it shows how much you feel for HER

whoever SHE is

I really like this poem! It's great for a first one. All I have to say is that you should include more punctuation, especially periods so it's a little easier to read. I hope you keep writing!

~Jamie

That was sooooo sweet! Loved it.
Also, you are a new member to YWS. So, Hello! Since you are new, you might not know about are rules. You need to have two reviews before you are supposed to post anything, so I suggest you rush doing so.

A promise strong that cant be broken
Though we may never kiss
A friendship to be as strong as love

Besides the fact that it should be can't, I think that was the best part of this poem.

Very nice and WELCOME to our little corner of the universe

Aww, that was so sweet.

Wait, your new. Welcome to YWS.

Firstly, I must remind you something before I review this. There's a rule that you have to do two reviews before you post anything stories or poems of your own. That means like you need to have two reviews in order to do one story. Keep that 2:1 ratio and all will be happy.

Right, now for the review.

Now, in this poem, I noticed that in the begining of the poem, you seem like you and your love was togethor or something like that. But when it get's to the middle, it seems that you and your love was away from each other and is angry or something. It made me confused, but otherwise, it was a great poem.

My love for her is undying
Like the endless beauty of a rose
Held between the pages of a good book

It will exist for an eternity
But will go unnoticed and unseen
Untouched and never felt

I loved how you started the poem. The way you equalled you love to the beauty of a rose. It certainly brought beauty to this poem.

A promise strong that cant be broken
Though we may never kiss
A friendship to be as strong as love

This was one of the stanzas that I liked the best. It's hidden beauty is inspiring. You should correct the 'can't'

Times importance diminished
The clocks tick of no relevance
Forever in my dreams we will be together

In this, it should be 'time's' and clock's.

Well, good luck.

Wow! I know you wrote that about a particular someone. That was amazingly awesome. Like a rose between the pages of a book. I like that metaphor. I'm jealous.

Hello. I loved your poem. It was sooooo sweet!!! I often write about guys, well, a certain guy, that I have gone out with. I recently started writing and yet already, I have about 13 poems. Good job by the way. I would like you to post more poems like this because I love reading about romance [ in poems ]. Stories and books usually get to be too much for me to read. I can handle little bits at a time. That is why you will find I tend to only write poems. Check 'em out!!! Thanks!!!


-Bailey Holcomb

ozi-g wrote:My love for her is undying
Like the endless beauty of a rose
Held between the pages of a good book

It will exist for an eternity
But will go unnoticed and unseen
Untouched and never felt

A reminder of love forgotten
Hidden from all but the one who placed it
Maybe for my love to find

Mistakes sour and regrets bitter
All that could have been, crumbling to dust
To be swept away with the cool autumn breeze

A promise to her, explained by words
The meaning promised by the heart
To stay by her side forevermore

A promise strong that cant be broken
Though we may never kiss
A friendship to be as strong as love

Times importance diminished
The clocks tick of no relevance
Forever in my dreams we will be together

i really like this poem. you really explained how you feel for this person and you used great word choice. iall i have to say is that i look forward to seeing more of your work.!!!