Because - Chap. 13

DELETED

Perfection. Flawless. Well-written. Attention grabbing.

Those are only a few words to describe your writing. Your writing is truly the best I have ever read on YWS. I would not be surprised if you have a book published in the next few years. What publisher would turn down your writing? Better than Stephenie Meyer, by far. Alright..well, I'm getting a little off track here.

Anyway, I did see anything that needs to be fixed, like always. Don't forget to message me when you post a new chapter.

P.S. I'm sorry I made you think I no longer read your writing!

P.P.S. Please post more of By Sun, By Moon.

Venom:

Wow. A thanks feels just a little inadequate for that post. I guess all I can do to tell you how grateful I am is to post more of By Sun, By Moon as requested. I promise I'll write more tonight... or actually tomorrow night, considering tomorrow I have writing time from 5:00 - 7:00. I have a few things going on tonight...

Getting off track. So thanks for reading, and I'll post more of Because tomorrow, and By Sun, By Moon on Friday afternoon.

P.S. I didn't know you even read By Sun, By Moon. THere haven't been any posts on that thread for... a long time, I guess. So thanks. That's great that you're taking a look at my portfolio

Super-awesome-amazingness! Okay, I need to update my dictionary because I'm running out of words to describe your writing. It just keeps getting better and better and...yeah, you get the point. But getting better is a very good thing, I think. Like Venom said, there are (at least that I see) no mistakes. I can't wait-once again-to read the next chapter! It's going to be hard to get a post out of me, but be sure I'll be reading-and I mean, hard to get a post out of me as in "your writing is so superbly wonderful, I just drink in the words, and try to find something to post about, but end up running off topic because it's just so good and you're a gifted writer. Plus, I can't find any mistakes"! That's pure awesomeness right there...Okay, I know I'm sounding like a total idiot, so I'll just stop typing now...Can't wait till the next chapter!

~SOUL~

Thanks you guys

So pretty much I'm uber excited!

I searched all over your piece, taking it apart for something I could review on. Here's a maybe:

Vick’s fingers moved deftly and surprisingly gracefully as they moved around the orange.

1. Love the orange thing
2. You say moved twice
3. That's how hard pressed I am for finding mistakes. This isn't really all that much of a mistake. It's just me being extra extra picky.

So there you are! I love how you can hint at things you want your readers to imply, without saying it straight out. Thanks for another brilliant read!

--Anna

Hey KJ! Sorry I couldn't get to this earlier.

And thanks for the critique on Midnight to Dawn, it was really helpful and I'm going to officially start editing over the weekend, so by then there should be the first chapter...if I don't keep having ideas and writing other things. I hate when that happens.

Well anyways, this was another great chapter. And I love Vick! He's just fun to read about and his little quirks and mannerisms are so cute and just adds to how human this story really is. I especially loved the part about the orange juice sliding down his chin, beautiful.

I didn't find any mistakes but I don't mind the days you post endlessly, so keep the chapters coming and I will keep critiquing.

Ta for now,

~Angel

Hey! I really like this chapter!

You're keeping everything well balanced and the style is very consistent in this chapter as well! Vick seems cool and I wanna know more about him! You have my curiosity peaked.

Bravo, my dear, I can't wait to move on!

*KJ~

Here I am again. Only though I was here like a few moments ago.

Yeah, wouldn't we all want a friend like Vick? I do. He's that sort of weird, a little bit strange and cool type of guy who wants to listen to your problems. I'm glad you brought in a character like him into your novel.

When Vick said that they have things in common (at the end), does that mean something happened to him too? I hope not. He's such a nice guy.

Why the heck would a teacher do that to Becca? And beat her brother? He's such a creep and jerk. He should be back in jail. But, that's just my opinion.

And I like that last sentence of yours. Really suspenseful. Wait, is that the right word?

Great job!!

*Merry

GAH! My hands are shaking! I'm sorry, I'd love to critique this piece, but I just can't! Your characters are so real, and the imagery you paint so strong I feel like I'm sitting there by the tree watching the whole thing. And the ending! OMG! I jumped up and paced so excited. You are soooooooooo talented!!! I'm jealous! Keep it up!