incoming!

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starstruck lovers in comets of beauty collide and explode
and the rest of society is left to pick up the mangled pieces
of broken hearts and stolen kisses.

love is a dangerous thing that ignores the warning signs
and roadblocks, dodges security briefings and finds
itseld behind locked bars crying for sympathy.

one day you will find yourself chasing it blindly
throwing money for greedy lawyers and hoping
you can make a great escape, fall into the arms
of your saviour and be utterly complete.

but there are times when you have to complete a
sentence for it to all fall

into place, there are times when you have to sit back
and let the meteorites and the asteroids
and the parties of outer space to hit you headon
before you even notice that gravity has been suspended
and your head gets floaty, and your eyes get wet.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.




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i love this:

"starstruck lovers in comets of beauty collide and explode
and the rest of society is left to pick up the mangled pieces
of broken hearts and stolen kisses"

That's wicked awesome. Overall I liked it. Some parts rolled off the tongue beautifully while
others were choppy and confusing but kinda tied into the "incoming/falling" feel of it all. (Not
sure if that was intentional or not) Didn't get the lawyer part but love the astrology of it all
(its because I'm a dork) As usual, nice work :)




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Points 6165
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"one day you will find yourself chasing it blindly
throwing money for greedy lawyers and hoping
you can make a great escape, fall into the arms
of your saviour and be utterly complete. "

Wonderful.

It seems like your style is starting to change a bit...for the better. I'm starting to understand your poems and I can feel them.

I think this is one of the best things I've read by you.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




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Reviews 488
i like the lawyer lines..

'itseld behind locked bars crying for sympathy.
did you mean itself?

Like Skeptic said, parts roll off the tounge quite well, and like Morgan said, your style does seem to be changing. And at the risk of sounding redundant, this is one of your better pieces, i think.
***Under the Responsibility of S.P.E.W.***
(Sadistic Perplexion of Everyone's Wits)

Medieval Lit! Come here to find out who Chaucer plagiarized and translated - and why and how it worked in the late 1300s.

I <3 Rydia



When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
— Eric Hoffer