This was another great chapter and I wish it could be longer. Well I didn't see too many problems but I liked it! Ann's departure was a little weird and I really want to know what is up with her so please please post the next chapter.
Keep up the good work,
~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.
This is so intense, I'm shaking. I'm not even kidding you. You're doing extremely well describing her uncertainy, and his fondness for Becca. Your words flow so well, I forget I'm supposed to be reviewing, and instead get lost in the story. That's what I'm talkin' about! I can see what you see, and it's obvious you see very clearly everything that's going on. I don't know how you do it!
Well, that's my "review!" Lol. Keep it up!
--Anna
"Man needs music, literature, and painting--all those oases of perfection that make up art--to compensate for the rudeness and materialism of life." -Fernando Botero
Wow.
You are a truly gifted writer, KJ.
Your descriptions were so succinct,
I could picture everything vivdly in my head.
You used very appropriate words an just...WOW.
I love this story. One of the more interesting ideas I've come across.
I was getting so absobed in the story that I screamed in shock
When my brother tapped me on the shoulder.
I blame Will Sheldon. He is freaking me out. A lot.
Becca's life really sounds like it sucks. Except for the writing part.
Please PM me when you post the next chapters.
I want to know her story Thanks for critiquing my work, by the way.
As the amateur here, I can't critique yours. Sorry
~Liverpool F.C Supporter~ "You'll never walk alone"
Oh. WOW! That was good, and it raised so many more questions. You put so much suspense and keep me guessing as to what's going to happen next. As usual, I didn't notice any errors, though I might read it again anyway just because it was so good. I would've reviewed this earlier, but I didn't notice it was on here...oops! Well, I'm going off to read chapter 13 (thanks for the heads up!), and I can't wait to see what you throw in there next!
"What you learn for yourself, you will know forever." - Eugenides, A Conspiracy of Kings
You know because I'm really liking this novel of yours, I might read more then five chapters per day. It's like really good! I don't know if I might even stop, it's crazy!!
Okay, the thing about Sheldon is really creepy. Like he's this nice and all teacher but inside a mean person. Especially at Ann. What's his problem?
When you mentioned that night in the parking lot, am I thinking what did happen there? But, don't tell me. I am going to read on.
Oh, that poem of Becca's, did you think of it at the top of your head or already had it written? Because it's beautifully written. Loved it!
Oh man, when Sheldon said...“Becca, I need to—” that really creeped me out. Like what was he talking about? No. I don't wanna know. Not at all.
I totally feel for Ann. She's only looking out for Becca and does she know? Oh, and I hope it snows!!
This chapter was superb! No grammar mistakes at all. You should be proud.
I like it, I like a lot.
