Elias Novak, prologue

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Prologue

Rainy. Dark. The middle of no where. It felt like I was actually inside a horror movie, except this time it was for real. I rubbed my arm, trying to feel a bit warmer, but the warmth didn’t come. My dark black hair blended in with the night. I looked into the mirror, ew! There was something stuck in my teeth, lettuce I think. I yanked it out.

So, back to the point, where am I exactly? Well, really, I'm outside gas station waiting for my coffee. No, not very scary. But it was dark and seriously, the cashier, my mom and I, probably were the only living beings for miles around.

Though, I was safely inside the car listening to some other usual rock music, I couldn’t help but feel a bit dramatic. After a few minutes my mom came out with two cups of coffee.
“Here you go. We still have a couple minutes to go, so buckle up.”

That’s my mother. I look completely different from her. While she has red hair and green eyes, I have black hair and extremely dark brown eyes, (which people just say are black), which annoys me because they’re brown, not black.

And back to the point again. I’m going to New York City, we’re driving up there from Texas. My parents are divorced and every summer I go to my dad’s place. And this is that day, June 16th, the day I go to my dad’s. Though I like the big city, the country’s just fine for me. And it’s not like my mom and I live in a farm and our closest neighbor is twenty miles away.

We live near small town in Texas. My mom is a nurse at the TCH, Texas Children’s Hospital, which my mother must admit is not a very creative name. Anyway, here I am going up to NYC. We’re almost there, and I’m not sure what to make of it. The last couple summers were truly the best times of my life.

See, my dad is rich. It’s that simple. He’s the #1 best lawyer from the entire NYC, so he’s pretty rich. He married when I will ten, three years ago. And now I have two step brothers, both of them fifteen and twins. And they’re not a single bit cute, so I have no problem.

Dad took me to all the sight seeing locations in New York City. To the Empire State Building, to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, to a dozen museums, ( at least), even the biggest public library in the United States, New York Public Library. I checked out fives books a week, six if I could manage it.

“Drink up Elias.”

I drank my coffee. I didn’t like it. “Er, mom. Thanks for taking me, I’ll be seeing you soon, right? Well, in the end of August. I’ll miss you.” She smiled.

“I love you.”
Last edited by winie603 on Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:55 pm, edited 9 times in total.




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OK SO I LIKED THE WAY YOU STARTED IT CAPTURED MY ATTENTION YOU DO HAVE A COUPLE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS::

winie603 wrote:...bit warmer, but the warmness didn’t come.


yOU PROBABLY MEANT TO PUT WARMTH ALSO ::

it’s outside a gas station, waiting for my coffee.


i THINK YOU MEANT I'M...

THERE WERE A COUPLE OTHER SPOTS BUT IM NOT HERE TO NITTPICK

And, back to the point again. I’m going to New York City,


ON THE PART WHERE YOU SAY BACK TO THE POINT I WOULDNT DO THAT.:. IT SOUNDS A LITTLE STRANGE.:. JUST KEEP GOING WITH THE STORY AND THE READER SHOULD FOLLOW ALONG

BE CAREFULL: THERE ARE A COUPLE RUN-ON SENTENCES.

I DONT YET EXACTLY SEE ANY PLOT DEVELOPMENT YET BUT ITS A DECENT INTRO (;

HOPE YOU POST MORE SOON AND HOPE I COULD HELP!!!

MUCHO LOV3 <3


~* gR3ATN3SS iS m3ASUR3D bY yOU*~
~* gR3ATN3SS iS m3ASUR3D bY yOU *~
~*tAY StAR*~



The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment.
— T. H. White