Playing the Field - Chapter 1 • Young Writers Society

Meep(: · 2008-11-05T01:42:26Z

Hey people! This is my first Romance ever attempted. It was initially a practice for my story "Equals", which got totally carried away with. So this developed into a full story? Anyway, I already have a plot for another, and I shelving Equals in the mean time. But I've also got other writing projects so that one won't start yet. This is only PG-13 for mild lanuguage. I do not do explicit, and I have a strict policy against using the F-word. And I'm unbelivably immature, so this story focuses more on The emotional aspects and not physical. Sorry if its a disaster! I was cringing when I had to write any excessively sweet stuff. Anyway. I hope you guys like it. First try. Ever. WHEEEEE! Comments etc... are much appreciated, thanks! [This time, my language is very basic, and I've got a lot of repetitive and less expressive words. Sorry!] _______________________ The bus pulled out from behind me and out of the school compound as I stared at the huge building before me that was Everfield Academy. I had successfully applied for a transfer from a neighbourhood school to a prestigious and fairly posh academy, and there was no turning back now. My hair was tied up in a messy ponytail, and I wore a Liverpool jersey and jeans. Yes, you heard right, Liverpool. I was a tomboy and a total football fanatic. Soccer was my previous extra-curricular activity, and I fully intended to continue the tradition. I shuffled into the school, drawing stares as I tried to find the principal’s office. No luck, I was lost. Darn. “Excuse me, but do you need any help?” My head whipped around and I came face to face with a boy. His brown hair was carefully ruffled, seeming to glow a bit under the glare of the light. His eyes were a rich green, sparkling like polished emeralds. He was muscular, that was obvious from the way his shirt clung to him delicately, molding with the shape of his chest, definitely an athlete. His lips- What the? Get a grip on yourself, girl! Stop drooling! Suddenly aware that the boy’s face was close to mine, very close, very uncomfortably close. I stumbled backwards, but righted myself in time before I fell. I looked up at him; his lips were pursed, trying to hide his laugh and amusement. I glared at him, “Saw something funny?” I hissed. “Ooh, someone’s got a temper! I’m assuming you’re new here and on your way to the principal’s office?” He was looking at me like I was some comedy exhibition. Jeez, barely an hour in your new school and you’ve already forgotten how to sarcasm and insult. “Oh no, I’m here to admire the beautiful scenery!” I said with false sweetness, but the sarcasm intended was evident. “Oh, have fun then. I’ll see you around. Of course, if you need a guide to show you around the ‘scenery’, it’s gonna cost you.” And before I could say anything, he sauntered off, hands in his pockets. I was left fuming in the middle of a hall. A head popped out from one of the doors ahead of me. “Miss Elizabeth Pearson?” The lady enquired. I nodded, wiping the murderous look on my face and approached the room, the sign above the door in bold printed letters read “Principal’s Office”. Shoot. That boy must’ve thought I was an idiot for not seeing this huge sign. I was motioned to sit upon entering the room, and offered coffee or tea, which both I declined politely. We talked about the usual stuff that had to be settled when you had just transferred to a new school. “So, which extra-curricular activities do you plan to join?” “Umm… I am considering football and chess.” The principal, Mrs Blair, blinked at me. “That’s one of the more… interesting combinations I’ve come across.” Well, I can be the jock and the nerd at the same time. It’s not like I managed to come to this school as an airhead. “I guess.” I mumbled. School apparently ended early today and I was instructed to start my lessons on Monday. I was given the details to my new room and a secretary led me there, one of the many rooms in a building separated from and next to the school compound. Did I mention this was sort of a boarding school? After school, we wouldn’t go home. This was home for the time being, but we were free to roam after school hours, though there was a curfew. The room was plain, as I inspected, but I noticed there was a double-decker bed. Oh joy, a room mate. Please don’t be an airhead, please don’t be an airhead. Even in good schools like Everfield, there would always be a population of ultra-rich kids who got in because of their parent’s money, not intelligence. The bed on the top was occupied, with lots of pink. I shuddered, pink was one of my least favourite colours. I was a ‘blue’ person. Pink was almost a confirmation that I was stuck with one of those empty-headed, snobby Beverley Hills type girl. Shoot. I was wrong, and never more glad to be in my whole life. She was a girly person, but she wasn’t overbearing. In fact, I think we would get along. She was friendly, approachable looking; the kind you could tell all your secrets to. Her name was Miranda Whitley, built like a model and probably the ‘best catch’ in the school, chocolate brown eyes and shimmering golden hair. I looked hideous next to her. My jet black hair was wavy but tangled, and my eyes were a common shade of blue. Don’t get me wrong, I was built quite well, being an athlete, but I didn’t wear any makeup, skirts or dresses. Basically, looks weren’t exactly the priority on my list. By the time I had my stuff unpacked, with Miranda’s help, it was time for lunch. I was led down to the dining hall, on the way we chatted and got to know more of each other. My impression of Miranda was excellent. She turned out to be the kind of girl with looks, brains, money and a family that loved her. Her world was perfect. On the other hand, though I was top in my school, I didn’t know where I stood with a school full of smart kids. I lived with my mother, who couldn’t care more about me, except when I’d finally move out. The only money I had was my scholarship fund which promised me a fixed amount every month, for my expenses and everything as I was considered in need of financial-aid. With our lunches that made my mouth water, we settled at an empty table. Miranda was perfectly happy with sitting with me, she was eager to get acquainted. “So Elizabeth, what extra-curricular activities are you planning to join?” I swallowed my mouthful of lasagna, “Football and chess.” “If you’re seriously thinking of football, I’d suggest you forget about chess. Coach Keel demands that football, besides our grades, be a top priority.” “No problem. I would drop chess for football any day.” Taking a gulp of my lemonade, “So what extra curriculars are you taking?” “I’m in the chess club and gymnastics.” “Cool. I’ll challenge you to a chess match someday.” She smiled mischievously, “Just to be fair, I ought to inform you that I am the captain of the chess team and that title doesn’t come around easy.” I lightly punched her on the shoulder, “We’ll see about that, Captain Whitley. Prepare to be overthrown.” I laughed. Suddenly, I heard a chorus of laughter behind us. We turned around to the table behind us. A group of boys sat there, looking at us. Jocks. I spotted the green-eyed boy I had talked to that morning. He whispered to the boy next to him and they burst into deafening laughter. I was sure they were laughing at me. Idiots. If only I had a soccer ball with me. That boy would have a dent in his head right now, and hopefully medical leave for months. I turned back, ignoring them, which was difficult as I could feel their stares aimed at me. “Who are they?” I asked Miranda, who had resumed eating after rolling her eyes at them. “Those would be the jocks. Smart jocks. Specifically, the football team.” My eyes widened, “Football?!” Miranda dabbed at her mouth with a napkin, “Yup. You’d better get used to them if you’re really considering joining the team. Although, no girl has ever made it on the team, emphasis on ‘ever’, even though it’s co-ed. Do you think you’re good enough? We are the state champions, though it’s a hard-earned title.” “I was a striker for my school team. Most of the positions were filled up by guys. The captain had to be a guy. Even though some of the girls played better.” I muttered the last sentence under my breath. “What’s the name of that guy?” I discreetly pointed to the green-eyed boy. “That, would be Alex Taylor. If I recall, he is the striker or the centre forward. He’s co-captain, and quite talented I heard.” “Asshole.” I muttered, then cracking into an evil grin. Striker, eh? You’d better watch out Mr. Taylor, I’ll make sure you work for that position. Wait, if he’s centre forward, then I’d have to work with him. Aw, crap. I hadn’t realized that Miranda had gone missing for awhile. When she came back, she was holding a paper in her hand, which she thrust at me. “Here. Details for the tryouts. It’s the start of the year, so they’re still looking for new players. I got it from Alex.” I dropped the paper like it was a germ. I looked behind my shoulder. The uproarious laughter had long died down, and the football team was giving me funny looks. “Could you tell me more about Alex?” I ground out. “You got a crush on him?” Miranda smiled cheekily. “Hardly. Unless hate is considered a crush.” I growled. “Woah, girl. Hate is a strong word. What did the extraordinary Mr. Taylor do to deserve that look of death?” I recounted my experience. “Well. Alex is part of the popular crowd. The kind that has cheerleaders drooling all over them. In fact, the popular crowd is the usual jocks and cheerleaders. Alex is one of the… kings of the student population, if you could call him that. Practically every female has a crush on him. I’d even go so far as to say some of the teachers. Of course, I’m not one of them. I’m taken.” I snorted, “King? I’d love to crown that idiot.” Standing up, we made our way out of the dining hall after clearing our trays, amidst the wolf whistles that we got from the football team which were ignored. I caught a swift peek at Alex, he was flirting with some cheerleader. Boys. Typical. But somehow, I felt angry when I saw him flirting. It was an unjustified anger of course, but I stomped out of the hall, my face like a thunderstorm. Funny. I usually wouldn’t care less if a boy flirted with one of those dense, pom-pom waving Barbie dolls. “So who’re you going out with?” I asked cheerfully, trying to continue our friendly conversation and to put Alex Taylor out of my head. For now. I would have to face him sooner or later. Soccer tryouts were the day after tomorrow. I would practice at the field tomorrow. I had a special move that I was saving up for the right time, namely the tryouts. “Sean Peterson. He’s a basketballer. Speaking of which, here he comes now!” Her features brightened up and she ran and jumped into the arms of tall boy. I guess he was tall to me. He was a head taller than Miranda, and Miranda was a head taller than me. Stupid dwarfish gene. “Sean, I’d like you to meet Elizabeth, she’s my new room mate.” The hazel-eyed, blonde boy looked at me, “Hey Elizabeth. Sup?” “You guys can call me Liz.” “Sup, Liz?” I smiled and he smiled back, flashing a dazzling set of pearly whites. “Everything’s cool. I’m trying out for football the day after tomorrow.” “Awesome, a sports girl. If you want, Miranda and I can help you practice tomorrow. Miranda is that okay?” I raised an eyebrow quizzically, “You didn’t tell me you played football Miranda.” “Chill, Liz. I know the basics only. Sean tried out for the football team before. He didn’t make the cut so he joined basketball, which he actually turned out to be good at. I used to play with him, help him out and everything.” “Sure! Thanks guys! Does after lunch tomorrow sound fine?” They both nodded. Tomorrow was Saturday, so there would be no school. “Well, Sean and I are going to hang out, maybe watch a movie or something. You wanna come?” “Nah, you kids have fun.” I winked conspiratorially at Miranda and walked back to our room. I spent the rest of day reading a book and playing chess against myself. It was almost dinner time when Miranda returned. I was about to eat a bishop with my knight when she commented, “One more move and its checkmate.” “Really?” “Here, you just capture the queen with your rook and trap the king in a Caesar move.” She knocked the white queen off the chess board and the game ended. Man, she’s good. “Wow.” That was all I could say. She laughed, “Shall we head for dinner? I challenge you to a match after the meal!” I complied and we headed to the dining hall again. *** This time, Miranda and I were not alone. Sean came over and sat with us, and I got to know him better. His personality was similar to Miranda’s, and I took a liking to him. A group of unfamiliar boys then sat down with us, and I looked to Miranda for an answer, confused. “Liz, meet the basketball team. Sean’s friends. I hope you don’t mind them sitting here.” I shrugged and they all greeted me in unision, “Hey Liz! How do you like Everfield?” “Awesome.” Then I hi-fived a few of them. Eventually, I recognized some of them; Lance, Kyle and Tyler. They seemed to be the more friendly ones. We all chatted and joked around with each other. I was never really uncomfortable with guys, being a tomboy and all. From the corner of my eye, Alex Taylor stared at me for a moment, and then turned away. I had seem something in his eyes. Rage? Jealously? Or was I just imagining it? Miranda and I then made our way back to our room to play chess, but on Sean’s request, moved to the lounge so that he could observe the match. Boys were not allowed in a girl’s room and vice versa. “You got some nerve if you’re going to challenge my girlfriend.” He commented. “Oh, I think I can handle it. As long as she doesn’t totally destroy my confidence.” The match started with both of us at seemingly the same advantage, neither one of us having the upper hand, but after a few more moves, Miranda started to lead, trapping my bishop. Sean was sitting next to us commenting on our match like it was a football game, jazzing everything up with commentary such as “Elizabeth moves in for the kill, she attacks the knight. Miranda’s trapped, what is she going to do now? She’s moving her pawn and it’s a bloody battle as the pawns go head to head!” I would roll my eyes and Miranda would playfully smack his head. “Sean, this is a chess game, one which requires silence, and not football style commentary.” He kept quiet, but the silence did not last long. It was a very amusing game. Sean’s basketball mates had joined in to observe us, followed by Miranda’s chess group, then the football team and some other curious onlookers. That had to be the weirdest game ever, everyone cheering Miranda on, hooting, chanting, and distracting us. Only the chess team knew to be quiet and would only occasionally cheer when Miranda made a good move. Even with practically everyone rooting for Miranda, I had put on a brave fight. I was determined not to make a fool of myself, noticing that Alex was looking at me, at my every move, not Miranda’s. When my rook got captured, I saw Alex smirk at me. My temperature shot up, indignation flared up inside of me, and I stuck my tongue out at him. That caused the football team to start teasing and make fun of Alex. The game ended in a stalemate. We shook hands and Miranda congratulated me, “You did excellent, Liz. Only a few people have managed to checkmate or stalemate me. The chess club is always open for you.” I thanked her and the crowd began to disperse. “Hey Liz, sorry we did not support you, but Miranda’s my girlfriend so-” Sean explained. “Relax, Sean, I understand.” I reassured him. “We would’ve cheered for Liz except Sean would beat us up for going against Miranda.” Kyle muttered, then got elbowed in the ribs by Sean. “Oww, watch it dude.” He complained. Miranda and I returned to the room after saying our goodbyes and went to sleep. The next morning, I wore my sports shoes, track pants and a jersey, ready to practice after lunch. We headed to the football field which was vacant at the moment. The basketball team had decided to tag along. Great. Just what my nerves need, an audience. “Hey Sean, I’m going to warm up for awhile, so give me a moment.” “Running?” He asked. “Yup, twenty laps then some stretching.” “I’ll run with you. We’ve got a big game in a week, better train. In fact, GUYS!” He shouted, motioning for the basketball team to come over. “Sup, Sean?” “Liz is gonna do twenty laps, we’ve got a game next week, might as well train. C’mon!” They groaned, but did so anyway. “I hope you can keep up, Liz!” Lance kidded with me, and I smacked him on the back of his head lightly in a playful manner. It turned out that I had absolutely no problems with keeping up. The boys were the ones trailing behind. “What the hell. She’s freaking fast!” Tyler huffed. I had finished my last lap while they had just started it. I sat down on the ground with Miranda, who was watching them, very amused. “Goodness, Liz. You’re incredibly fast, you know that? I’ve never seen anyone outrun the basketball team. Until now.” I chuckled, “I did some track and field previously. Nothing big.” “You’re too modest. Look at them! They’re all red in the face from trying to keep up with you.” Once the boys had caught their breath, I got slaps on the head and back, punches on my shoulder, as the basketball team complimented me on my endurance. I did some stretching, pulling and stretching my muscles, touching my toes with ease while some of the boys grunted and reached forward, desperately tying to grasp their foot, but not succeeding. Coincidentally, Sean played goalkeeper before he joined basketball. It was just the person a striker needed to practice. Excellent. Miranda would substitute later. “Go easy on her, Sean!” “Something tells me I shouldn’t.” He grinned at me, picking up one of the spare soccer balls on the field. “Don’t.” I warned him. Then the practice began.

Meep(:

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Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:50 am

Meep(: says... · Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:50 am

JC: American = soccer. Got it.
Won't be editing soon though. Sorry ):

Oboe: Haha, its another romance.
I'm trying to get over my immaturity issues.
And its actually kind of fun to write them. Kind of

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Threnody

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Wed Nov 12, 2008 10:34 pm

Threnody says... · Wed Nov 12, 2008 10:34 pm

Yes JC I am completely aware of this. Thank you.

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niccy_v

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Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:16 pm

niccy_v says... · Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:16 pm

Hmm i'm sorry but this story is way predictable
It's SO obvious from the beginning what is going to happen - and i read the next chapters and what happened? they got together. And there was a struggle.

You need to make it different. people have told me heaps of times to make mine different and you need to too. :roll:

My editing below is really bad i'm so sorry if it comes across as the whole story is a dump it is not, i like it, but... i have some nitpicks:

- POV. The one you've chosen is fine but it's weird... there should be a lot more going on in her head, rather than what you have done.
- UTILIZE ITALICS it's way better than having just long bits of writing with full stops. italics usually means in her head which would distinguish it better.
- wording. vocab. boring. You use basic words, and well, i found the vocab boring. You have more potential than that. I know you do!
- It's so predictable. I've said this but yeah, way too predictable.
- Character development: Poor. You have paragraphs filled with stuff like the meeting of Miranda and the girl. Before she was supposed to go home because the day ended early but then they're eating lunch? Unless i missed the part where twenty four hours flies by unnoticed? Also, there'd be no way 2 girls would start discussing Alex and crushing and that stuff. Also with the soccer thing.. make it more obvious from the beginning no girls have entered the team. This fact wouldn't pop into existence at the time it did, it would (should..) be mentioned the minute she says 'extra curic is soccer'

Oh, yeah, it'd be nice to maybe have a footer or header in the beginning to say what country? Because i was imagining Aussie footy, as in oval ball with burly guys (stereotype) and big goal posts and stuff like that, not the soccer without handling ball... yeah so some of my editing may be a bit confusing.

Overall, this is turning out to be another hs romance. Make it more interesting. What is your target audience as well? For an older audience, i may be wrong though, this would not appeal. This would be a young adult sort of quick romance thing. I DO LIKE IT but it needs a lot of fixing up if you want it to be anything properly decent.

YOU NEED MORE DIALOGUE that was the BIGGEST FLAW EVER! so lacking it was criminal

sorry but it was all stuff she was thinking, NO Introduction of miranda to reader except all in a rushed paragraph and you need to work on dialogue to strengthen the story and characters

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playingtf_1.doc: Lots of editing.
Work on dialogue; (56 KiB) Downloaded 20 times

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Meep(:

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Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:52 pm

Meep(: says... · Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:52 pm

Haha, got it! Thanks for the advice

First time trying romance, so I'm playing it safe.
My next one will also be predictable.
I have plots that are much more elaborate and unpredictable,
But I have no time

The last time I tried more advanced vocabulary,
I was told to tone it down XD
Oops. I'm always going overboard.
Thanks for the edit anyway! I really appreciate it

~Liverpool F.C Supporter~
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Playing the Field - Chapter 1

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