The Survivor (Extract 8)

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I went back up to the cliff. Now that I knew that Brian was up to something, I wanted to find out what. Most of the time, I was terrified that Brian would find me sneaking about. But luckily he was too busy helping to re-build our little village.

I started working on a rope. I twisted and knotted vines and creepers, making it strong and thick. I collected spare pieces each day from work, and kept on adding to the rope. I wanted to climb down to the bottom of the cliff, but it was too steep to manage it on my own. Jack knew what I was up to, and collected spare pieces when he could. Brian acted suspiciously around me but never confronted me or asked me what I was doing.

I had made about two metres of rope when Jack disappeared. I searched the island for him, along with Alice. But he had gone. Just like Chloe, Kit and Calum. Jack's disappearance scared me more than the others. Jack was like my best friend on the island; a rock to lean on. What would I do if he was gone? And where had he gone? Was he OK? Had Brian done something? Millions of questions buzzed around my head. But I kept quiet, kept on adding to my rope. And when Alice asked me what was wrong, I didn't tell her.

A week passed before I could finish my rope. My fingers were red and raw with blisters on them, from where the rope had scratched and rubbed my hands. I hadn't seen Jack in the past few days, but I went ahead with my plan.
Tying the rope to a nearby tree, I threw it over the edge of the cliff. I peered over. It only just reached the rocks at the bottom. I sat down, grasped hold of the rope, and lowered myself down before I had a chance to change my mind.

My feet scrabbled for a foothold. I didn't dare look down. I could hear the crash of the waves and smell the salt in the water. I gripped tightly to the rope. It suddenly seemed very loose; it felt like it was going to break. I shook my head to get rid of thoughts of falling onto the rocks below. Carefully, I moved my foot down, tested that the foothold could take my weight and slid my hands down the rope a bit. So far so good.

I carried on like this for the next hour- finding foothold, testing my weight on them and lowering myself down. I finally came to a stop at the bottom of the cliff. I stepped gingerly onto a large flat rock nearby. I looked round. OK. I was looking for clues, hints, anything suspicious. Something caught my eye a bit further along. It looked like a small opening; like some sort of cave. Not big enough to stand up in, but big enough so that I could crawl through it. Maybe it lead to a clue? I started towards it, but something held me back. I had a funny feeling that I shouldn't go into that dark, damp space. But curiosity go the better of me. I crossed over to the rock nearest the cave. I couldn't quite reach the cave. I would have to swim across. I slid into the water. It was freezing. I gasped as the water drenched into my clothes. I had a sudden flashback of the day we crashed. I remembered how I had almost drowned. I shivered, and not just from the coldness of the water. I swam steadily towards the cave. The water splashed into my face, going up my nose and making me choke. I blinked water out of my eyes, and crawled onto the sandy earth beside the cave. I crouched over, and peered into the cave. It didn't go very far back, and it was quite small. Something was in there.
"OI!" I called, hoping to scare it out if it was an animal. Maybe it was a boar. I would cook it and eat it right here. All for me. I licked my lips and reached into the cave. My hand found something. The 'thing' didn't move. I shook it slightly. Nothing. Suddenly, a wave of anxiety swept over me. This was something I wasn't meant to find, I was sure of it. And that meant I probably didn't want to find it. I took a tighter hold, and with a heave, pulled it out into the sunlight. My eyes looked him up and down, taking in the cold, grey wrinkly skin, the blood smeared across his face. I stared at him for a few seconds.

Then I began to scream.
The pupil who is never required to do what he cannot do never does what he can do.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them as much.




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Woah. :o

This one is way more exciting than the last one. I cannot wait to find out who it was. I hope it's Brian. He's a meany. Anyway, back to topic. I think this extract was great and it had no mistakes.

Keep on writing. Please?
Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.




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Now this was really exciting. But I think that is Jack.

"OI!" I called, hoping to scare it out if it was an animal. Maybe it was a boar. I would cook it and eat it right here.

You know, that was an immensely stupid thing to do. If you scare the animal, it will run straight out cave, that means right at you. And if it was a boar, he would have killed you in an instance.

My hand found something. The 'thing' didn't move. I shook it slightly. Nothing. Suddenly, a wave of anxiety swept over me.

I got really scared reading this line.

My eyes looked him up and down, taking in the cold, grey wrinkly skin, the blood smeared across his face. I stared at him for a few seconds.

Yup, this must be Jack.

Well, I loved this chapter. It had a certain creepiness in it.

Well done. :D
Warden: "If you want to lead, all you have to do is ask."
Alistair: "What? Lead? Me? No, no, no. No leading. Bad things happen when I lead. We get lost, people die, and the next thing you know I'm stranded somewhere without any pants."
- Dragon Age

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Poems were like people. Some people you got right off the bat. Some people you just don't get - and never would get.
— Benjamin Alire Saenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe