.

.

i like the idea of this poem. but not the way it's been written...

you know, i've been through many things in my life (although i'm only 16), believe me...
and one of the many things i've learned is that if you want something you have to go and get it by your own (!!!)

if you want to be heard and to be understand - go and tell about yourself to the world
if you want get respect and make people to be proud of you - give them a reason do it
etc.

you can't expect of somebody to do things just because you want it -
we are all people, and we all want the things you wrote here!!!

you can't expect of somebody to do things, that you're not doing...

i've learned a lot of things and the most important of them is that
when you're stop hiding in yourself, in your little and darkened world -
you find out what a wonderful world it is(!!!)

(a poem i wrote half of year ago)

What is life about...?

Life is about finding a purpose,
Something to live for and fight until the last moment.
Life is about never-ending believing,
Those who stop doing that are considered dead people.

Life is about asking the right questions
And only then trying to search their true answers.
Life is about understanding the reason,
The result has no sense without its deep analysis.

Life is about feeling the surrounding,
This small part of life which has been forgotten.
Life is about remembering the moments,
That seems to have the most little importance.

Life is about seeing the objects,
That we're not aware of their existence.
Life is about hearings the voices
Those are lost in the tumult of emotions.

Life is about everything,
That we're usually missing,
Cause we're too much closed in ourselves,
Closed up from the real living…


you see,
i'm not trying to critique your point of view or something,
i'm just telling you what i think...

anyway,
i wish you a great weekend and shabat shalom

Daft Vader UK wrote:We want Xbox360, Ps3 and Wii!
Fast games
Not slow old black and white films.

We want sports cars, motorbikes and quad bikes!
Fast wheels
Not cranky old Rovers.

We want hard rock, heavy metal and pop!
Fast music
Not boring classical.

We want freedom!
Fast life
Not rules and homework.

We want pizza, chips and coke!
Fast food
Not broccoli and Brussels sprouts.

We want South Park!
Fast TV
Not Coronation Street.

your message here is "we like instant gratification! deal!". when i first read until this point, I was happy because i thought you truly were making a satire of the generation x of children drifting amid the electronic lights of their generation down the tunnel to death. but...

We want respect!
Not old fogies glaring at us
Telling us what to do.

We want to be heard!
To have a voice!
And to be listened to
Not to be looked down upon.

you want you want you want. if you desire respect then i need to see some indication in this poem that your doing something to strive for this. otherwise, the piece sounds like a loooooong rant.

We want
Fast!
Freedom!
Fairness!

what do freedom and fairness have to do anything with your poem? you never even mentioned them (and if you did, you didnt back it up) anywhere besides now! maybe you just learned about alliteration, though it was cool, and decided to inject some in here randomly?

We wanna have fun!

see above

Hey thanks for taking the time in reading this poem, and if you didn't like it please tell me why (or if you did like it please tell me as well)

i did not like this poem. it was whining and moaning about things that are outside your grasp. it works as a chant, maybe, but in poetry i want to see something deeper, something that runs underneath the lucid ink of the words. here, i just got you talking about how you think life is unfair and how you love South Park.

When I usually walk down a street and i have a hoodie on loads of people start to glare at me, and i think thats because actually 1% of all teenagers are mean and out to beat someone up (maybe because they're getting bullied or their mum and dad have split up), and the rest have to suffer. Thats discrimination against my generation. !!!

true, but your doing nothing to deflect that stereotype with this poem. basically, you just told people that you want everything in the world and dont have to work for it (which is a big teenage stereotype). good job man, you just dissed the generation that your claiming to protect.

revolution is triangular, my friend.

I am going to tell you my honest thoughts on this poem. I am not trying to be mean, but if I withheld what I thought just to be polite it wouldn't be a very good critique, would it?

This poem is pathetic. You talk about disproving stereotypes and how you're a GOOD teenager but the entire poem proves that you're a "bad" teenager and you are the stereotype.

Like Galerius, I thought this was a parody until the verses:

We want respect!
Not old fogies glaring at us
Telling us what to do.

We want to be heard!
To have a voice!
And to be listened to
Not to be looked down upon.

I am not completely eliminating the possibility that this is a layered and subtle parody, and if so, then excuse this critique, it's hilarious and I love it. However, I sadly kind of doubt that this is a parody at all.

Breakdown of everything that's wrong about this poem:

I noticed that the bottom was bolded, so I read that first. It gave me the assumption that this poem was going to talk about how not all teenagers suck, which I assume you were attempting to do and utterly failed.

We want Xbox360, Ps3 and Wii!

Fast games

Not slow old black and white films.

Oh god. What's wrong with black and white films, and why does everything have to be about video games?

We want sports cars, motorbikes and quad bikes!

Fast wheels

Not cranky old Rovers.

Woo wasting gas woo, woo looking flashy and going fast woo. Um no.

We want hard rock, heavy metal and pop!

Fast music

Not boring classical.

All of those genres of music enforce the stereotype of a suck teenager. Calling classical music boring extremely enforces this stereotype, and proves you don't even know what sorts of classical to listen to. There's a type of classical for everyone. Mozart's Lacrymosa, Bartok's music?

We want freedom!

Fast life

Not rules and homework.

We wanna be high school dropouts! We wanna be able to do whatever we want to!

We want pizza, chips and coke!

Fast food

Not broccoli and Brussels sprouts.

We wanna trash our bodies and die young!

We want South Park!

Fast TV

Not Coronation Street.

Okay, this is the first verse that I've found that doesn't really have anything bad about it, except that just watching shows that constantly mock and swear can't be good for you. Try some variety.

We want respect!

Not old fogies glaring at us

Telling us what to do.

Stupid, stupid, and stupid. Respect entails just letting you do whatever the hell you want to do?

We want to be heard!

To have a voice!

And to be listened to

Not to be looked down upon.

Yeah, too bad the entire rest of the poem disproves this.

We want

Fast!

Freedom!

Fairness!

Wtf?

We wanna have fun!

Adorable.



Hey thanks for taking the time in reading this poem, and if you didn't like it please tell me why (or if you did like it please tell me as well) Don't worry, I told all right.



When I usually walk down a street and i have a hoodie on loads of people start to glare at me, Maybe because you perpetrate the stereotype of a lazy want-it-all druggie teenager? and i think thats because actually 1% of all teenagers Far more than 1%, buddy. are mean and out to beat someone up (maybe because they're getting bullied or their mum and dad have split up Whoa, naive aren't we? XD), and the rest have to suffer. The rest as in us? The 1% as in you? Thats discrimination against my generation. !!! You betcha. I'm glad you feel sorry for causing this discrimination.

This piece is amazingly hypocritical. Oy.

Have a nice day.

Wow loads of comments, OK i know it did kinda suck (loads) Maybe i should just stick out of poetry, but thanks for taking the time reviewing

This poem actually made me sick. Respect is earned, it is not acquired through age. I am 16 and I have a loving 25 year old partner, I also have a friend in his late 70s. I gained their respect through maturity not my age. "Not old fogies staring at us." By labeling them as "old fogies" you are disrespecting them. To gain respect for yourself and rise up you must first learn to respect others.

I will not apologize for my comments on this poem should people view them as "harsh" the truth was meant to hurt.

*locked*

Try to limit your comments to a discussion of the poem, please! What do y'all think this is, the Debate forum?