Ch.1 of Outlawed

I'm not going to give you the whole chapter until i'm totally finished with the book. Instead i'm just going to give you two paragraphs from random parts of the chapter each time I finish a new chapter.
P.S. This won't be very exciting because it's just the begging of Ch.1 so bear with me here.

[b]Ch.1
Kristina ran around the basement panicking, trying to find a place to hide. She knew that if she didn’t find a place to hide soon they would surely find her. She had always heard soldiers were good at finding people from movies and books. Now she wondered if that was true.

Kristina found a place behind an old ugly lime green dresser and decided it would do. She crawled behind it, it was a tight fit but she didn’t have enough time to find a better place to hide. She moaned, she had only been behind the dresser for about thirty seconds and her legs already were beginning to hurt.

okay thats all for right now I should have ch.2 in 1 or 2 days

This was interesting.... however I think you should of just waited till the entire chapter was finished before posting.

Kristina found a place behind an old ugly lime green dresser and decided it would do. She crawled behind it, it was a tight fit but she didn’t have enough time to find a better place to hide. She moaned, she had only been behind the dresser for about thirty seconds and her legs already were beginning to hurt.

She crawled behind it, it was a tight fit but she didn’t have enough time to find a better place to hide.

"She crawled behind it, the dresser was a tight fit ; however she didn't have enough time to find a better place to hide."

She moaned, she had only been behind the dresser for about thirty seconds and her legs already were beginning to hurt.

[/b]

She moaned. Kristina had only been behind the dresser for about thirty seconds and her legs already began to ache in pain.


PM me once chapter 1 is fully posted, then I will give a full review.

From what you showed it looks to me like an exiting book. When you post the rest I will love to read it. I am very curious who these soldiers looking for her are, and what she's done for them to be looking for her. I think it was written pretty well myself, I had no trouble following.