It was very good. I wished it had more creative description. I hoped in the future it will be more suspenceful. I loved the ending parts though. They acted like I wanted to run too. Far away fropm whatever it was. Please write more I want to know happens to her. Anyway over all I loved it very very very much!!!!!!! Thanks for writing ~abby~ P.S. I will text you later
Her heart was going a million miles a minute, racing and pounding silently. She couldn’t see anything but the darkness of the forest. She was running faster than she ever had in her life. Her feet were pounding on the dirt packed ground. Images of the bare trees blurred past her.
She glanced behind her, faltering a step. She was running away. Running as hard as she could away from it.
"Stop," a man's voice whispered through the night. She froze in the middle of a circle of trees. The full moon peeked over the treetops, the light gently falling on her face and all around her. A lonely wolf howled in the distance.
She stood there, panting as she looked into the deep debris of the forest. The hairs on the back of her neck rose. What's happening? she thought.
Suddenly, the voice boomed out, "Come to me!"
Who are you? she wanted to ask, but no words would come out of her open mouth. All she could do was stare out into the inky blackness around her. Chills swept up and down her back.
"Come to me!" the man's voice said, louder this time. She couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Fear raced through her body like a deer caught in headlights.
"Come to me!" the voice yelled, ringing through the forest. The rage of his voice grew stronger by the second. The moon quietly slid beneath clouds, making it impossible to see anything. The area around her was deathly quiet.
Though she wanted to, she could do nothing. She remained still with her feet glued to the ground. She desperately wanted to run and never return.
"Come to me!" he screamed, biting her with anger and hate. The pain of his voice hit her like a truck that had just run flat over her.
She stood there in the dark, her eyes widening in fear. Goosebumps rose not only on her neck but all over her body as she stared out into the bare trees. Out of the darkness glowed two unblinking, golden eyes that were staring right back at her.
Krista screamed as she sat up in her mangled bed, drenched in her sweat.[/quote]
hello..
sixth time edited?..are you always changing your mind because of mingled ideas, or you just want it to be a perfect piece?..
nevertheless, it was nice for a prologue..**everything starts with a dream**my teacher once said.
i love how you started it, a girl running, someone following her...
who's the man, anyway?.her father, perhaps?
and why can't she do something?.
maybe that's the power of dreams, right?
keep it up.
god bless.
You've got the key to my heart..but have you forgotten about a duplicate? Sorry. I've already given it to someone else.
Oh, thanks everyone again for reviewing!
I seem to be taking my sweet time writing chapter one. Sorry everyone! It's harder to write than you would think.
One of my main keys of writing this was to make you feel the excitement. Let the readers feel frightened and get goosebumps. That's why I kept on editing.
Oh, and Telle? Her father? *starts laughing&* No, her father, well, I better keep my mouth shut.
She can't do anything because it's a dream. It's like a nightmare.
People, force me to write!! I want to, it's just harder than I thought.
"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." ~ Lao-tzu
