Because - Chap. 9

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Last edited by KJ on Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:55 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Thanks for the heads up KJ!

This was a very sweet chapter and I falling in love with Vick more and more. I didn't see anything wrong, this was completely flawless. I can't wait for the next chapter and sorry for the short review but this story is just so great.

Until next time,
~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.




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Well, I read through the whole thing, and more than once I might add. It was superbly written-maybe even your best one yet! I agree with Angel, and I can't find any flaws or things needing tender loving corrections. (ha ha) I can't wait until chapter ten-the drama has grabbed me and it's claws just keep sinking deeper and deeper and it won't let go...not that I'd want it to! Well, I'll look forward to reviewing and/or reading what happens next! (still on the edge of my chair) Happy writing! :D

P.S. I think I've just found something, but I'm not entirely sure, so I'm just putting it out there to see what you think.
And that time there weren't just stares, there were whispers and expressions of bewilderment.


That's your sentence and here's what I think is wrong with this(and if I'm wrong about being wrong, blame my wacky english teachers-not that they weren't good, they just go over the same thing-noun, verb, adjectives-year after year...sorry, my little rant is over :D):
And [s]that[/s] this time there weren't just stares-there were whispers and expressions of bewilderment.
Now, I don't know if that dash actually belongs there, but for some reason a comma just didn't seem to work for me. I don't know-I'm probably just being crazy, but there's my suggestion. Hope it helped a little! Talk to you later!
"What you learn for yourself, you will know forever."
- Eugenides, A Conspiracy of Kings




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I personally like ‘Signs’ better.

Heh, I love that movie. :lol:

Hm, interesting, so Vick has a weird past too! :D This is turning out to be very, very cool. . . . . .I wonder. . . . .

Anyway, I didn't see any mistakes in this chapter except that you've made this story really addicting. :D

I must go find out about this creepy past and more about Mr. Sheldon. :lol:

Excellent bit of work, dear! :lol:




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KJ-
Oh. Oh. Oh!! I'm really lovin' Vick's character.

Now the situation from New York, is that somewhat in the present too? -- Okay, don't listen to me. I might know too much.

Another great chapter, KJ!

And I can't wait to learn about Vick's past. Off to read ten!!

-Merry

~Oh, sorry for writing short reviews. I just had bunch of questions for each chapter~
Mary had a little lamb. Little lamb. Little lamb!

Ugh!! I really hate my name. >.<



Paint me green and call me Shrek because I am swamped >.>
— Plume