Star Wars: Republic Commando

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 79
Republic Commando: [Tipping Point]

Prologue

"So they all wonder, why me? Each of them could have had a normal childood, but instead fate had them training for war their whole lives, and if that meant an extremely early death, then so be it. Why me? I’d ask myself the same thing every day of my life. However long it lasted."
-Kal Skirata

Clone training field, Tipoca City, Kamino--Two and a half years before Geonosis

Republic Commando 3203 followed a man looked exactly like him, walked exactly like him, and carried himself exactly like him--almost. On either side of him, another man walked at the same pace towards the end of the dim-lit corridor. All similar, none the same.

“Hey, Thar, you seem quiet today,” RC-3288, also known as Hotwire, spoke, breaking the constant rhythm of clanking boots against the white duraplast floor. “Does someone need a hug?”

“The only thing that will make me happy is to shove my vibroblade up your shebs, Wi,” Thar responded. If there was a hint of humor in his voice, Hotwire didn’t pick up on it.

“I’m with Thar,” RC-3276, also known as Shifter, said. His gaze was directed to the window, where a thunderstorm boomed outside.

“Alright, if we succeed in whatever exercise awaits us, I’ll let you get the first stab, Thar. But for now...” RC-3259, also known as Alor, trailed off.

Tracyn Squad approached the end of the corridor, and their deep red armor became scarlet as brighter lights hit them. The “Fire” Squad entered a training ground with urban features, and Thar’s HUD instantly began feeding him information. Thar heard Kal Skirata’s voice begin to speak, and he was sure to listen to Kal’buir closely.

“This is a retrieval exercise,” Skirata’s voice boomed into his ear. “Find the glowing white orb and take it to the finish line--where you are now. By any means necessary. Simple enough, right, Thar’ika?” Thar wondered if he had really heard that last part, but there wasn’t any time. He had to focus his mind, and the exercise began.

“Alright, squad,” Alor said into Tracyn Squad’s private comm channel. “We don’t know who the enemy is, or how they will act. But we’ll stick together.”

Thar’s HUD located the orb like a magnet, and before he knew it he was following Alor, back to a nearby building, heading towards a tower near the center of the map. By the time they were there, the enemy surely would be as well. “Be cautious,” Alor said, almost a whisper.

“You mean, even more cautious than we are now?” Hotwire said.

“Maybe you’re the one who isn’t being careful enough, Wi,” Shifter scolded him.

“Whoa, I think that’s the longest sentence Shif’s ever said! Better write it down somewhere-”

“Hey, put a lid on it, will you,” Alor said to end Hotwire’s chatter.

“Maybe we could use him as live bait!” Thar added. “That’d shut him up for good.”

The conversation ended, and no one spoke for a few minutes. Thar followed Alor’s lead past several structures that looked too new to be in a real battle situation. The Kaminoans didn’t care about adding something as trivial as signs of age. Then again, they weren’t a very artistic species.

Tracyn Squad was now less than ten meters away from the center tower. All of them had their DC-17s trained on the building, waiting for the twitch of a shadow to move in for the kill. Alor motioned with his left hand, and the squad took up an offensive formation. They came up on one side of the building, hearts pounding. Thar took the lead as they stormed the building, adrenaline circulating through his veins. But no one was in the tower. They were first.

“I suppose the orb is at the top of the tower,” Thar said, and for once Hotwire didn’t comment. All four adolescents followed the stairway to the top of the construct. The top floor was only two and a half square meters. There were open windows on all four sides, with the orb inside a simple chalice in the middle. Thar jammed his sniper attachment onto his Deece and took up a position at one window. Hotwire guarded the stairway with Alor as Shifter secured the orb.

And suddenly, the enemy came into view. They were difficult to spot, but Thar found who appeared to be their leader in his scopes. They were another commando squad, armor plates colored blue. The enemy team was approaching the tower, keeping in the shadow of a nearby building. Thar aimed. Then fired.

Blue Team’s leader fell, and the rest scrambled for safety, dashing towards the tower. “One hostile down,” Thar said into the comm. He abandoned his post as the enemy returned fire.

“Go, go, go!” Alor yelled. They all stamped down the steps as fast as they could until they reached the door. This was the tricky part. Now they were completely exposed.

Shifter took the rear of their formation, like he always had. As soon as the enemy came into view, he lobbed a grenade. Blue Team was quick to return the favor. “Duck!” Shifter warned, and Tracyn Squad hit the duracrete floor. But not for long. The grenade he’d thrown had been meant to blind the enemy, not kill them. It exploded into pure white light, and Shifter dared not look himself or it would blind him, too.

It appeared the enemy had used the same tactic. The other grenade exploded the same way. Shifter thought he heard a curse over his comm.

But it didn’t matter to anyone that they were momentarily blinded. Everyone just kept running and firing wildly. And after around ten seconds, everyone’s vision returned to normal. Luckily, in the ten seconds of utter blindness, each clone in Tracyn Squad had still found their way. Their absorbant minds had memorized the terrain, but Blue Team hadn’t been at this side of the map before.

Shifter, orb in hand, made it to the finish line, and Skirata was there to meet his boys.

“Well done, Tracyn Squad,” their drill sergeant greeted them. His gaze then shifted to Thar in particular. “Thar...why didn’t you kill the commando you sniped?”

“He was ner vod, Sarge. My brother.”

“I understand, Thar’ika.” Skirata paused for a moment. “But realize that in exercises to come, other commando squads won’t show as much mercy. In fact, you could very well get your team killed by hesitating. In war, not all of your enemies will appear as just a big glowing target.”

“Yes, Sarge. And I’ll take that risk, if only to keep my humanity just a little.”

Kal Skirata patted Thar on the shoulder, then left Tracyn Squad in a void of silence.

___________

Z_this is just something I wrote while i was bored over the summer. I'm not sure if I'll finish it, just thought I'd post what I did write. (May not enjoy this as much if you've never read a Republic Commando book)
Last edited by ninja-Z on Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 195
My brother posted his SW fanfic? No way?! Time to crit! *rubs hands together*

So they all wonder, why me? Each of them could have had a normal childood, but instead fate had them training for war their whole lives, and if that meant an extremely early death, then so be it. Why me? I’d ask myself the same thing every day of my life. However long it lasted.

-Kal Skirata

Italics, my good sir. That bit needs to be in italics.
And I don't get the "why me?" part. Is Kal'buir asking himself "why him?"...as in why did he have to have a "normal" childhood? (Not that he had one, but you know what I mean.) If it was a clone saying this, I'd understand...but Kal? Frankly, this makes no sense.

Clone training field, Tipoca City, Kamino--Two and a half years before Geonosis

Put this in bold.

Republic Commando 3203 followed a man looked exactly like him, walked exactly like him, and carried himself exactly like him--almost.

Like this, dude: "Republic Commando-3203" or "RC-3203".

“Hey, Thar, you seem quiet today,” RC-3288, AKA Hotwire, spoke, breaking th...

Honestly, have you ever seen 'AKA' written in a book? Just write out "also known as".

“The only thing that will make me happy is to shove my vibroblade up your sheb, Wi,” Thar responded

It should be "shebs" and it should be italicized.

...You need to remember to italicize all of the Mando'a words. And yes, that means going through the whole thing and adding italics. Good proof reading time! XP

“Maybe we could use him as live bait!” Thar added. “That’d shut him up for good.”

Kandosii! Did you know I actually laughed at the end of this bit?

The Kaminoans didn’t care about adding something as trivial as signs of age.

Is this a sim?

They were another commando squad, armor plates colored blue.

Red and blue? An omage to Red vs. Blue, maybe? :wink:
____________________________________________________________

Wow, well, I sorta went over it once back in Hungary. But it looks like i've trained you well, my young [s]Padawan[/s] Mando. Please post the next bit. Unless you e-mail it me. I'm not sure I'll read it. :wink:
This is actually a very good start. [s]*is surprise to say that*[/s]jk

~Vod
(vod in Mando'a can mean sister or brother; it's a gender-less term)
"Look, Ma. No hands"
"You haven't got a ma."
"Maybe a nice old lady will adopt me. I'm very loveable."
―Fi and Darman




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 2926
Reviews 122
Really Good and interesting. But I didn't understand the part where the two teams were training. Did they fire real bullets or what? If you can please reply back and tell me what were the two teams firing with.
Blood is red
But Heaven is blue
The Devil will fined out
And take you



My existence is political. And love is my statement.
— Kevin Abstract