The Mask Maker [3]

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I love this story to death!

-

As I neared the cathedral, my stomach squirmed. I hadn’t stepped a foot in that building for five years. It seemed almost unknown to me. Shadows loomed over the façade, and the cross hanging above the entrance glared at me.

Was it right for a sinner to step into a holy place?

I’m not here to worship Jesus, I reminded myself. I’m here to find the priest’s wife.

Mustering all the courage I could, I stepped through the doors and into the building. To my relief, I saw Emily Ross, the priest’s wife, sitting alone on the pew. The rest of the building was silent, save for Mrs. Ross’ subtle sobs.

I tried not to glance into the hallways; they were forbidding.

Taking a deep breath, I walked swiftly up to the pew that Mrs. Ross was sitting at. I didn’t startle her. She wiped her eyes and turned to me. Her skin was paler than I had last seen her. She wasn’t even in her early forties, yet she had wrinkles. She used to be beautiful. She used to have long, ravishingly red hair. It was pale now. It was as if she were in a black and white movie.

“Mrs.—” I caught myself. “Sister Ross.”

“Hello, Brother Wells. I haven’t seen you for a while.” She bit her lip to fight back the tears.

“I know. I’m sorry about that. I, uh, I…” I didn’t have an excuse.

“People come and go in this church. Have you noticed that, in all the years you were active? There were those strong ones that never left, and then there were the weak ones like myself,” Mrs. Ross whispered.

I silently sat next to her.

“I’m leaving the church, Brother Wells. Just like you. You were right, you know. There is no God.”
“Don’t say that!” I muttered, staring into her eyes. “You’ve always been the woman that I’ve looked up to in the church. You can’t leave. You know that God lives. I don’t. It was my choice—”

“Brother Wells, please. I’ve already decided. God wouldn’t kill his own priest. My Mike was the holiest of all the men. Next to the Pope, of course, but still.”

I nodded, and folded my arms. I didn’t know if I could interrogate her now about her husband. It was a far too sensitive subject.

But I had to know more about this Mask Maker. There was an emotion that stirred within me whenever I thought about the killer.

“Sister Ross, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She continued to dab her eyes with her handkerchief.

“Your husband… did he have any enemies?”

Mrs. Ross stared into my eyes. Her once blue eyes were now black and cold.

“What do you know about the Mask Maker?” she asked me. My jaw dropped in surprise.

“Nothing. Well, I know that he cuts the skin off of his victims and makes them into masks. That’s all I know.”

“You don’t know who he is?” she asked. I shook my head, my eyes wide.

“His name is Brother Pastor. Edgar Pastor.”

“He used to go to this church?” I asked.

“Oh, yes. He was one of the most active members. Mike had just begun his ministering when Brother Pastor joined the church. He was such a decent man. I would never have thought that he would—” She never finished her thought. She glanced up at a clock on the wall and said, “Oh, my! I must get going! My brother is going to be picking me up in five minutes. I’m sorry, Brother Wells. I have to get going.”

“Oh, of course! But, before you go, can you tell me where I might find this Edgar Pastor?”

“He doesn’t have a permanent place of residence, Brother Wells, but you might be able to find him around Brother Roger Forggin’s cottage, just outside of the city. And please, Brother Wells, don’t let him know I sent you. I’m never going to see you again. Goodbye, Brother Wells. I’m glad that you have a happier life now, and I hope you continue to live one.”

“Where are going with your brother, Sister?” I asked.

“I am moving out with him to New York. Goodbye.” She waved, turned around, and exited through the cathedral doors for her last time, leaving me alone.

My excitement was too much to hold in. I jumped up in joy, because everything was coming together.

Roger Forggin was dead. The Mask Maker used to live with him. Father Ross was dead. He was the Mask Maker’s priest.

So Edgar Pastor did have a pattern to his killings. I ran out of the cathedral as quickly as I could, my stomach bubbling with excitement.
Last edited by BigBadBear on Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Yay part 3!!!



he have an enemies

-Any


Edgar Pastor

I thought his name was Edward? This confused me a little bit :S

Other than those two things this was great. Oh, but if she knew who he was why didnt she tell the police? Or did she? Or is there no police? Im still confused about what time frame this is set in?

Other than that I have nothing else to say - apart from I love this and can't wait till the next installment! Pm Me again please? I really appreciate it ;)

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First of all, I would like to say that I love it so far. When I was on the front page of YWS, I thought I would just read it, but it drew me in. I could stop reading to the very last sentence. and then I read the post below it and realized I was starting in the middle! Oops. I'll have to go back to the begining and critique it (but I'm a little busy right now).
good work
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this is really good, very exciting!
A few spelling mistakes buts that it as far as nitpicking goes!
i haven't read the pieces before yet because I started reading this and then I just wanted to know what was happening so I'll have to go and comment on the first piece!
But even though I'm not entirely sure about whats happening, its still really interesting! Keep it up!
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Wow this is a good story you got going here. A little hard to understand at times but on the whole very cool and suspenseful. :D
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Okay, Jared, I'm here for a review of part 3.

This is a Catholic church, right? So, how come the priest has a wife? Priests in Catholic churches take vows of celibacy. They don't marry. So you need to either rewrite that, or make it obvious that this isn't a Catholic church.

Other than that, why doesn't she tell the police about the Mask Maker? If she knows who killed him, the first thing she should want to do is put him away. And, if she does know, and is fearful for the main character's life, then why would she tell him anything? It seems like she would want to keep him safe.

So, the plot thickens, ha ha. I can't wait for the next installment. Good work, Jared.
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Hey everyone! I know everything is a little vague. Mrs. Ross would report the Mask Maker to the police, but there is a reason she doesn't, which I'll go more in depth on later in the story.

This is a Catholic church, right? So, how come the priest has a wife? Priests in Catholic churches take vows of celibacy. They don't marry. So you need to either rewrite that, or make it obvious that this isn't a Catholic church.


... really? Ugh. Are you joking? Well... then... this is another church. I didn't know that, so sorry. This is going to be another church, then. Thanks for letting me know about that! I'll go through and change that. Thanks.

-Jared
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Yes, thats right about the catholic church priests. I agree with what has been said above. I didn't see any grammar mistakes or any errors on puctuation. This is a very interesting piece and i can't wait for the next installment to see what happens next.

Heres a tip though. You seem to mention him being a priest so many times that instead of changing the church you could just change the wife to a close sister. It would probably be simplier.

As before, PM me when you get the next post up. Until then good luck and keep writing. You did a great job.
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