Falling

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Falling isn't as terrifying as everyone says.

These were the thoughts of a young girl as she fell several hundred feet from the clouds. She fell backward, and so she did not see the fast approching earth, but rather the peaceful blue and white sky she was leaving. Her long, black hair flew about her head in the wind. Her jade eyes watered from the cold.

I suppose it would be scary if I were to look down, rather than up. But I'm just so comfortable like this, I don't want to twist around. Being weightless for a while is a good thing to experience before you die. It feels strange. It's taking longer than I thought. Perhaps it's a good thing that I fell. I think I like falling.

She smiled at the irony. She literally dies doing what she likes. She liked the thought of that. If only the ones who eventually found her would know that was the case.

She sighed wistfully. She didn't even know anyone on earth. what would they think, when they happened upon her body? Would they see how her dark locks sparkled like crystal when under the starlight? Would they believe that she once lived in the sky with the others of her kind? Or would they think that she was one of htem, having fallen off a cliff, or out of a flying matchine? She didn't like the thought of that. If she had one wish before she died, it would be that those who found her would recognize her as the true gem of the nation in the sky. That they would see her for what she was, and not redicule her for having let go of her wings.

With a heavy, detached sigh, she twisted in the air to look at the groung below. She was over halfway down now, and fast approching what looked like a river. She hoped she wouldn't land in it. She'd never seen a river up close before, but she knew that it would be nearly impossible for anyone to find her body if she were washed away by the current. Frowning, she faced up again, and watched solemnly as she rapidly fell away from her home in the clouds.
Insperation is like a shower; it always wears off. That's why it's recommended daily.




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There's nothing to critt...wonderful. It's pretty much perfect. Please write more...I want to read more... :D :D :P :D :D
So stadig loop ons deur die pers Jakarandas wat val,die bome word kaal Pa staar na die beeld van Botha wat reis op sy perd,Hy wonder was bloed soveel werd.Soveel jare dra hy aan die naam van 'n plek,Soveel jare moet ons nou laat gaan,Is die naam dan so erg,so bitter en sleg?Hoekom gooi jul dit weg?




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Very interesting. I would love to read more.

There were only a few typos.

She fell backward, and so she did not see the fast approching earth, but rather the peaceful blue and white sky she was leaving.

This is a tad wordy. I would say something like, "She fell backward and did not see the fast approaching earth, but rather the peaceful blue and white sky she was leaving." You could condense it even more if you wanted, or just leave it as-is. Your choice. Great start BTW.


what would they think

capitalize what.

Or would they think that she was one of htem

"them"

she twisted in the air to look at the groung below

"ground"

and fast approching what looked like

"approaching"


The only other thing I would say is that you need to give her a name and should start so many sentences with "she"

Happy writing.

-Sea-
'Let's eat Grandma!' or, 'Let's eat, Grandma!' Punctuation saves lives.

Reviews? You know you want one. :)

*Ribbit*




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the typos have already been pointed out so it saves me the trouble! haha

i really liked this, it was very gripping and i especially liked the way that you switched from 1st person to 3rd person, it made it really interesting!

i'm intrigued now and i cant wait till i can read more!

good luck with your writing! :D 8)




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I find this piece brilliant, I love the way you made the story flow from the beginning to the end. Marvelous and it would be cool if you wrote more. I also like the character and her train of thoughts.

Good job! Keep writing and elevate :lol:



The ink in which our lives are inscribed is indelible.
— Helena 'HG' Wells, Warehouse 13