History

Okay guys, this is a letter i wrote for history class. Its an assignment I have to do, but it is also this contest thing also. So any help will be much appreacited!!!



Dearest Mother and sister,

It brings me much joy to write to you again. I very much enjoyed your last letter. It has brightened my spirits! I cannot wait to see you two either. And to answer your question, I ask them everyday when I can return home, but all they say is soon. “Soon, Anne, you can return home soon”.

Oh, it is has been too hard over her without you dear mother and you too sister Mary. You two have no idea what it is like and how hard it is to actual be over here. Soldiers are coming in from every which way with every type of injury. Lord mother, men are walking in here with limbs blown off, bold gunshot wounds and just horrid deep gashes from the sharp barbwire they are forced to crawl under. Some come in barely breathing or some come in with no heartbeat. Their fellow comrades and friends from boyhood drag them into this small station. Some have died in their beds. Mum, I have to watch them die! I have to listen to their bloodcurdling screams of pain or them calling out the names of their wives, children or families. I have pronounced many dead myself. And no words can describe the feeling you get when you first realize that a person in your care has passed on. And no words can describe the look in their friends eyes when you tell them that this man, their friend or even their own brother is gone. No words at all.

Their poor families. Losing them like this. It is so horrible to over here; it’s almost to hard to bear. I wish so hard I could be back home. Be back on the rocky shores of Newfoundland with you and Mary. Oh, how I wish. I pray every night and every spare moment I get that this hell would just end, but it doesn’t. Everyday it is the same amount of bloodshed as the other. Why are we doing this to each other mother? Why are we killing our sons, out fathers, husbands and brothers?

I must tell you what we do with the bodies. Mary, I am so sorry if this disturbs you but I must tell mother what happens. It is just so awful. They stack them up into piles like the do with the fish back home, and hope that the war is soon over so we can send them back home. It is so horrid to look at and the smell is enough to knock you down with just one sniff. Some have been for weeks! And you can only image what that is like to smell. Dear God mother, the rats are eating at them like they are snacks out of a dumpsters. These rats are has huge as bloody cats! Just looking at them eating the decaying bodies is an even larger gruesome site to look at.

Speaking of cats, how is my little Boo? I do hope he is well. Mary darling, you better be looking after him for me!

Now mother, I must tell you something, but please ask Mary to not read this. She is too young to hear such horror. The Germanys, those evil Germanys, are using this type of gas to kill our own soldiers. Its something called Mustard Gas I do believe. And dear gad, do you know what is does? Any idea? It gets into your body and it causes you to chock on your very own blood. It is such a horrific site to see happen. You can do nothing for those poor men suffering from it, but watch them simply die. It’s just so unbearably and heartbreaking to watch.

You can ask Mary to join you now again if you like.

Dear mum, I must leave you now. Know that I love you very much. I will see you soon. I promise I will be home as soon as I can. Take care of yourself, and try not to worry about me too much. I am okay here for now.

Mary, my beautiful baby sister. I love you very much, of course! Promise me that you will keep up with your studies and then maybe one day, you will be a doctor like me! How much would mother love that? Her two girls, doctors! I love you Mary. Take care of yourself and mother and anything else. Do what she tells you and behave yourself. And most of all pray for all the soldiers here fighting and pray for me, every night. Say “Hi” to all my friends and tell them I miss them greatly. I will return soon sister, I promise.

Your loving daughter and sister,
Anne xoxoxox

Hey Kels,
I moved my letter to Historical Fiction. You should move yours too. I think its in the wrong place here If you need more editing done send it to me.

Love,
N

Thats really Coolio although i think i picked up on some spelling mistakes !,

Dearest Mother and sister,


It brings me much joy to write to you again. I very much enjoyed your last letter. It has brightened my spirits! I cannot wait to see you two either. And to answer your question, I ask them everyday when I can return home, but all they say is soon. “Soon, Anne, you can return home soon”.


Oh, it is has been too hard over her without you dear mother and you too sister Mary. This bit is a little awkward for some reason - maybe put it has been too hard over here without you, dear mother and Mary. You two have no idea what it is like and how hard it is to actualactual is too modern a word - maybe use actually. Soldiers are coming in from every which way with every type of injury. Lord mother, men are walking in here with limbs blown off, bold gunshot wounds and just horrid deep gashes from the sharp barbwire they are forced to crawl under. Some come in barely breathing or some come in with no heartbeat. Good description Their fellow comrades and friends from boyhood drag them into this small station. Some have died in their beds. Mum, I think you meant mother here, mum doesn't fit I have to watch them die! Don't use an exclamation mark here I have to listen to their bloodcurdling Do you mean bloodcurling? Blood can't really curdle :L screams of pain or them calling out the names of their wives, children or families. I have pronounced many dead myself. And no words can describe the feeling you get when you first realize that a person in your care has passed on. And no words can describe the look in their friends eyes when you tell them that this man, their friend or even their own brother is gone. No words at all.


Their poor families. Losing them like this. It is so horrible to over here; it’s almost to hard to bear. I wish so hard I could be back home. Be back on the rocky shores of Newfoundland with you and Mary. Oh, how I wish. I pray every night and every spare moment I get that this hell would just end, but it doesn’t. Everyday it is the same amount of bloodshed as the other. Why are we doing this to each other mother? Why are we killing our sons, out fathers, husbands and brothers? I love this paragraph!


I must tell you what we do with the bodies. Mary, I am so sorry if this disturbs you but I must tell mother what happens. Instead put I do not want to think of what they do with the bodies, why would you want your mother to know if it's that disturbing? It is just so awful. They stack them up into piles like the do with the fish back home, and hope that the war is soon over so we can send them back home. It is so horrid to look at and the smell is enough to knock you down with just one sniff. Some have been for weeks! And you can only image what that is like to smell. Dear God mother, the rats are eating at them like they are snacks out of a dumpsters. These rats are has huge as bloody I don't think they'd swear in letters home in that time, but I don't know cats! Just looking at them eating the decaying bodies is an even larger gruesome site to look at.


Speaking of cats, how is my little Boo? I do hope he is well. Mary darling, you better be looking after him for me!


Now mother, I must tell you something, but please ask Mary to not read this. She is too young to hear such horror. The Germanys, those evil Germanys, are using this type of gas to kill our own soldiers. Its something called Mustard Gas I do believe. And dear gad, do you know what is does? Any idea? It gets into your body and it causes you to chock on your very own blood. It is such a horrific site to see happen. You can do nothing for those poor men suffering from it, but watch them simply die. It’s just so unbearably unbearable and heartbreaking to watch.


You can ask Mary to join you now again if you like.


Dear mum mother, I must leave you now. Know that I love you very much. I will see you soon. I promise I will be home as soon as I can. Take care of yourself, and try not to worry about me too much. I am okay here for now.


Mary, my beautiful baby sister. I love you very much, of course! Promise me that you will keep up with your studies and then maybe one day, you will be a doctor like me! How much would mother love that? Her two girls, doctors! I love you Mary. Take care of yourself and mother and anything else. Do what she tells you and behave yourself. And most of all pray for all the soldiers here fighting and pray for me, every night. Say “Hi” don't think they would have used hi in those days to all my friends and tell them I miss them greatly. I will return soon sister, I promise.


Your loving daughter and sister,

Anne xoxoxox

There are a few mistakes but some bits are really, really good Correct the mistakes and it should be really good! Well done!