Summer Serenity Part 2

Here it is! (If you haven't read part one they are at a camp type thing at a hotel in the city)
PART 2:
"Julian, I don't want to meet her!"
"Too bad Miranda." Julian said, as he pulled her lightly towards Jake and Molly.
"No Julian, You don't understand. I..I just can't meet her, not yet.."
"Fine Miranda!"
He let her go, and went over to meet Molly by himself.
"Hey Jake, who's the cutie?" He said smiling at Molly.
"Ha Ha Julian. This is Molly."
"Hello Molly."
"Hey.."
They all stood there for a minute, then Jake broke the silence.
"So..Molly, how about you go meet Miranda, while I warn Julian." He smiled and winked at Molly.
"Okay."
She said smoothly, trying to hide her nerves. She tried to smile back then just gave up and went over to meet Miranda.
"Jake, dude, bad idea sending her to Miranda alone.."
"Uh..why?"
"Her mom went out again last night, didn't get back till about 2a.m"
"Wait, didn't her mom marry some guy last summer?"
Jake shot a glance at Molly and Miranda, then back at Julian.
"Yea, but the guy stole some diamond stuff then ditched"
"Diamond stuff? like jewelry?"
"Yea.."
Right then Molly screamed. Miranda yelled "I hate you!"
Jake and Julian ran over to get Miranda's tight grasp off of Molly's throat. Julian had Miranda restrained and Jake was holding Molly close to him.
"Miranda! What were you thinking?!" screamed Julian, looking her dead in the eye.
Miranda started crying and hugged Julian. Between sobs she tried to say "I'm sorry!"
"It's okay Miranda, I'm not hurt."
Said Molly trying to comfort her through Jakes grasp on her
"And Jake, you can let go a little.."
"Molly, she could have killed you!"
Jake tightened his grip, and Miranda cringed.
"But Jake, I'm fine!"
Molly insisted trying to brake free
"Your the one that's hurting me Jake!"
Jake looked at her and sighed, letting go.
"Your right Molly. I'm sorry."
Molly turned to him smiling and said,
"Jake you say sorry to much."
then Molly stood up on her tippy toes and kissed Jake.

Hmmm... The storyline isn't clear. It's hard to tell the setting or what the story is about. It's mostly dialog and very little bit of description. I think you need to work on it a little and revise
I'll be more than happy to help you

Hmmmm.....
Well, I think the dialogue flows better in this part, well done ^^

Yeah, as Spring rain said... I don't know where they are. In a city? A resort? A camp?
Remember, when you're telling a story, you are not only building a picture in your reader's mind, you are seeking to take them to where the story takes place, let them see, smell, taste, hear and feel the story.
An interesting point- I've noticed that the first thing you will notice as you wander around is smell. It may not be the most important, but walk into a bakery, you smell the bread before you notice anything else, right? How often has your nose lead you to food when your hungry?
A little bit of description catering to the senses really brings a scene into focus.

When you are yelling, don't use caps. A simple '!' and maybe 'roared Julian' or something similar is enough to make your point. Caps are harsh on the eyes and unpleasant to read for many. It also gives the piece an over dramatic feel.

I also advise against multiple exclamation marks. Maybe that's just because I've read too much Terry Pratchett- He believes that the more exclamation marks used in a row, the more insane the character. Hehe. But that may just be me.
Though I think, strange philosophies aside, you should still stick to just one, to stop the over dramatized feel.

Okay, with the dialogue thing, I know I advised you to start a new line, but maybe I didn't explain myself clearly. I'm sorry. What I meant was, each time a new person speaks, start a new line. You can have "She said" or equivalent on the same line as the dialogue itself.

So- Molly turned to him smiling and said, "Jake, you say sorry to much."

Is just fine ^^

Now, I don't see the real reason Jake was so worried. All I know as a reader is that they had to pull Miranda off Molly. She could have killed her? Is she that unstable? How? What was she doing? Why would Julian let her meet a stranger in that state? Why didn't Julian stop her?

But I like the source of conflict. It takes an airy fairy love story and gives it some guts. I would love to see what you do with this... will Julian's worries stress Jake out and bring conflict to the budding relationship? Will Molly be caught up trying to help Marinda? There are so many ways it could go... and I would love to see what you come up with.

Again.that's aweome, but what was wrong with miranda?