A Drop Of Peace

4 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1618
Reviews 58
My hand trembles
As I reach for the knife.
Moonlight spills through the window.
The shiny, silver edge glitters.


What drives me to do this?
The answer; I do not know.
What am I going to do?
The answer; who knows.


Not I.
I never know anything.
I work hard at my studies but it is all material
I still know nothing.


Intelligence for popularity?
Everything I am
I would give
Just to be free from this hell.


I’m falling
Like Lucifer.
Spiralling out on control
Into the eternal abyss.


Another’s love
Can heal wounds.
Wounds such as these though
Nothing can heal.


I was loved before
The Lightening struck.
Now, they are forever gone.
To me, from me cruelly taken.


I stare at the veins
Blue through the pale skin.
The sharp edge hovers above.
My hands shakes.


Carefully drawn once
Twice, thrice.
Cherry berries.
The lone tear snakes down my cheek.


Drop, drop
My crimson rubies to close my eyes.
Drop, drop
Peace
The opposite of courage is not cowardice but conformity

Bee is in the house bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1146
Reviews 2
Seriously, please.
Use the poetic abilities for happier things.
While yes the poetic imagery was powerful I'm sure you can write about something less sad than a lonely girl self harming.
I'm not brave, my life simply has no value.
I give up that which has no value for those I love.
That is not brave.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1618
Reviews 58
I can't do happy. For some strange reason I cannot do happy. It's quite depressing actually.
The opposite of courage is not cowardice but conformity

Bee is in the house bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2016
Reviews 81
i agree with scottieRAWR that this is quite a depressing poem, and i would encourage you to pursue happier thoughts, hard as that may be for you.

however, i will talk about the poem itself, which by the way, was very well written. i dont know why you chose to write this poem, in terms of your inspiration and or motivations. yet, although dark and depressing, i think that sometimes it is necesary to write poems like this. it exposes things like self harm that actually happen in life. it isnt a sin to talk about them, and i dont think they should just be stuffed away becuase no one wants to hear about them.

thus, not taking into account any motivations for writing this poem, i think that in and of itself it was an okay thing to do. in fact, im glad you did write it so that i could comment on it and ramble on about how pain is real, and it is everywhere, even if we often just like to stick it in a closet becuase it is no fun to talk about.

overall, very well written and descriptive poem. (although i sincerely pray that these are not the sort of thoughts and images that plague your mind on a regular basis)
"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." ~ the catcher in the rye



I know where the wall goes.
— Creed, the Office