"the untitled vampire fictional story project" or

Yeah weird name if you can tell I got help from sabradan.

Anyways its a Prologue

Prologue

In the depths of Earth's shadow lays the evil that people do not like to speak of. The evil that was banished from our world so that we could exist. This evil so destructive so evil it demolished the very souls of any mortal that faced it. Now in modern time Earth the shadow resurfaces to make the world the place where Hell is Earth. Only a few things go on in this so called "Hell". The last groups of people are caught in between wars between the ones that will rule. Demons,Spirits,Ghost,Shadow Gatherers, Death,Vampires,Werewolves, and many more groups are fighting for control over Earth's new "Hell". Only a few people called the Arch Angels stand in the way of the wars being waged. These people are the Hunters.

Oh and can you help me find a new title?

Chapter ones working title: Deep Depth

looks good from here.

In the depths of Earth's shadow lays the evil people do not like to speak of.

I feel kind of sick after you and Alex left (maybe it was the chocolate) but this sentence doesn't seem to make sence to me...

AH I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN NOW...

In the depths of Earth's shadow lays the evil THAT people do not like to speak of.

THAT makes a bit more sence now ... to me and possibly Sam....

This evil so destructive so evil it demolished the very souls of any mortal that faced it.

We kinda already know it's evil if you said it 101010101010010 times... and we can solve this with our friend DELETE REPITION!!!

THE EVIL WAS so destructive THAT it demolished the very souls of any mortal that faced it.

(Maybe BANISHED instead of demolished, sounds like the mortals were buildings WEE)

One more thing is AHH MOUSE...
One more hting, when you are putting like a billion commas dont' put it like

mustard,lizard,ketchup,shoes,ham
MAKE IT
mustard, (space) lizard, (space) kethcup...
you get my point...

And WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS NOW I CAN'T WRITE MY VAMPIRE STORY!!! just kidding pal. COME BACK!!

TBR, have you been at the sugar again?


Anyways, this doesn't exactly give much info, so I can't really say about how it looks. Nor can I really suggest a title - you really need to have read the entire story to be ab le to suggest one (unless you're the author of the piece, of course).