A Monster, A Feind...

Can you imagine?

Being trapped-
In your own mind?
Thoughts, attacking everything you know and believe-
Raining down like hail
In a maelstrom of angry clouds?

A monster within,
Whom consumes all sense;
All order,
Until nothing is left
But the bare bones of your being.

Can you imagine?

The person whom clings to life-
Thoughts searing with pain
Like hot branding irons?

Can you imagine?

A monster, a fiend
Occupying your own brain?
Whom tortures you incessantly?

This monster torments you,
Controlling your thoughts,
Wracking your mind with guilt and fear-

Whom punishes you without regard
For whatever may happen?

And can you even imagine-

Realizing finally who this monster was?

And seeing that it was you?

Can you imagine?

The fear of insanity that would flow within your veins?
The monster looks you in the eye when you look in the mirror.
The monster, the fiend, the mortal enemy-
Is inside you?

Can you imagine?

The desperation?
The jeremiad
On trembling lips
When tears spill
From your eyes
As you call out for help?

Telling someone,
The sweet relief.
The knowledge gained-

You're not insane.
You're not guilty, however much guilt
That monster may cause you to feel.

Then to be able to simply swallow a pill-
And look in the mirror,
And realize:
That monster is inside me
But I'm not that monster.

To no longer cry within,
And to know
You're not alone?
.....




*This is life with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. For those of you that recognize this neurologically based condition as a paranoid freak who uses way too much hand sanitizer and is a germ-a-phobe, this poem tells the rest of the story.*

Please comment-was it too weird- did I get my point across?
I don't usually write such dramatic or personal stuff. This was really just the work of a moment-but it's true. I've been through all of this.

I thought that it was very well done. I only know a little bit about OCD, but I was still able to understand what you were trying to say and really get a sense of what you were feeling.
One bit of advise is to watch your use of "whom". I can't remember the rule exactly, but I think that it has something to do with, when you are talking about a specific person - or monster - you use "who" not "whom". Once again I'm not a hundred percent sure.
Other than that I think it was well done and worth reading. Good Job!

Thanks for commenting! I'm glad you could understand the whole sort of scenario/emotional set-up thing. That was my main concern about the poem...the whole metaphor. I really do need to work on the whom's, though...

Hi there!
First of all I have to ask you: do you have OCD? It's because a poet should almost never talk about something they have no experienced. Either way, you did a very good job.
I could actually fell the desperation from your words.
This is good, it has feeling, emotions an depth.
I'm not sure about the whom either. In my English class, if the teacher explained it I wasn't listening. So, make sure you clear that out (if it's who or whom).
Keep writing!

Wow,
my father has OCD, so I can really understand the prospective that you're coming from. I really enjoyed this, it was very dramatic and touching. Keep up the great work ! :]

That was amazing. I thank you for writing this beccause people really have no idea about OCD though they say they do..

Really good flow, i like this.

How you compare the monster to yourself was...just...wow...that's all i can say

Hi. I like your poem. It's not the kind of poem that I'm used to.

I like this. Your imagery was good, and not cliched. I know a little about OCD, an this seemed to portray it quite well. The only thing that bugged me was all the question marks. There was far too many of them. I know that they're ending queries, but I think it would sound better if you changed them to periods, even if it isn't technically correct.

Hi. I like this poem. It's not what I'm used to. It seems very different to me in a good way and I would like to read more of this kind of literature. I don't know about you, but I am pretty much a poet. I don't write much of anything else. This poem, as I read, made me think of Edgar Allen Poe and other poets like that. I will be posting losts of poems and reviews so keep writing because this is one of my favorite poems I have read on here. Keep up the good work. Thanks, Bailey.