RUN

2 posts
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Gender Male
Points 511
Reviews 127
I wrote this in ten minutes:

Just like you it was,

not intended,

I am sorry,

but you been bended.


your will is no longer

What it used to be,

what it used to be, what it used to be,.

Greatly in danger,

Your soul is now,

what did you say to her,

She is now after you.

and you have to run




Run,

to the mountain tops,

Run,

Run away now pops,

Your legs are old and so cold,

But still you've got to..

Run

to the mountain tops,

Run,

Run away now pops,

or else she'll catch you today, ay.



Others watch from the shadows,

as you run,

through the ghettos,

pick up some speed,

'cos she is coming,

brace urself,

She'll be soon there.


you stop to look at the child,

even though you have to run,

the child is weeping you can't stand the feeling,

of regret, of regret,

you take kid by the hand and you run and you run, and you run,


Run,

to the mountain tops,

Run,

Run away now pops,

Your legs are old and so cold,

But still you've got to..

Run

to the mountain tops,

Run,

Run away now pops,

or else she'll catch you today, ay.


On the end of the world,

you fell that it is now the time,

you leave the child behind,

you turn around and walk to her,

She came to you,

to take you,

down.

Her sadistic smile will haunt you for a while.

But only for that little while...

'cos now it's,

your,

turn,

to go down.
To copy reality is good... But to create reality is much, much better.
-Giuseppe Verdi-




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 17
OK I liked it.
And I loved the idea.
But next time reduce the spaces.
But if you think it's not needed go ahead don't.
But what I think is not to keep spaces so muck OK.




And there were a few mistakes.
OK let's march! to the mistakes.




what it used to be,
what it used to be,.




Run,
to the mountain tops,
Run,
Run away now pops,






of regret,
of regret,







Run,
to the mountain tops,
Run,
Run away now pops,



And put the needed capitals
OK


That's it I think



I hope you will continue writinh poems

Good luck! :wink:
:wink:
:wink:
:wink:



I'll make sure nobody unauthorized runs off with the chamber pot, sir.
— Kaladin (Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson)