Blaze

Blaze

In the heat of the sun,
I stand amongst oblivious passer-bys.
As my tongue feels the whispers of the wind,
I taste emotions, all mixed up
into one drunken stupor.

Time rushes in a blink of an eye,
at the same time, sins and sorrows all carry on.
Colours of war and bloodshed staining the skies,
screams of the dead tainting our hands,
What is happening to humanity?

Carrying the promise to protect this world,
we shall fight, win and live on.
Amidst the dreams of mankind,
our swords and spears shall pierce the heavens.

Tears will fall, the liquid of life shall spill,
but the feeling of hope will never fade away.
At the horizon, we shall sing our hymn to freedom,
because there is no such thing as a day without dawn.

As long as love and happiness still exists,
the blaze of an unlimited future
paints the morning light.

I really like the more sophisticated language that you've used in this poem, words like "amidst" and "shall". And even though it's a small detail, I love that you spelled "colour" with a u. I love those kind of old english spellings. Anyways, this is a good poem, and is quite thought provoking.

Try to stay away from cliches like time rushing by. I don't think there is any need for blatant lines like "what has happened to humanity?" By writing this poem you were already asking this, so there is no reason to explicitly state it.

Try to stay away from cliches like time rushing by. I don't think there is any need for blatant lines like "what has happened to humanity?" By writing this poem you were already asking this, so there is no reason to explicitly state it.

i personally disagree with that, but i might be wrong

love the poem and your word crafting

-grimy