Oh, the complexities of joy and love

Oh, The Complexities of Joy and Love


Tell her I'll be standing by,
Make her look and see my cry
Tears of joy, and let her try
To love you more than me.

First off I looooove your avatar! Next, I really like this, but there's not much for me to correct because it's so short. Maybe make it longer? But I can feel the emotion you put into this, maybe it runs deeper? Maybe even a story you'd like to share?

-Max

Thanks so much for the review and advice. I really appreciate getting feedback on my work, because I don't often get other people's opinions. I usually just have to judge it myself, which doesn't work very well. You're right that it is really short and probably could be longer, but I guess I can't really think of what else to say.

There's not much of a STORY, so to speak, at least not one that is very interesting. Rather, this poem is just about three people. The boy that I have loved for five years of my life, the girl that he loves, and then me. A very common tale, I know.

Maybe I'll tell the story in another poem...i don't know. But thank you anyways for the review, I was so excited when I saw that someone had commented.

If you ever write anything I don't like, screw hats, I eat something so large and indigestable that it might kill me.