The Great Grand Hall of Higher Fairness and Justice (p. 1) -

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okay, you succeeded in using formal wording without awkwardness or confusion, and the language was executed perfectly with no (or not obvious to me) flaws.

the problem I have, though, is that I jumped into this and had no context, so I spent the majority of the time figuring out where I was and what I was doing. Perhaps put in a couple of sentances to help locate the reader in space?

Advocate of the prosecuted, one Master Pillet, fretfully nibbled at the remnants of the fingernail of his right hand pinkie.

this line didn't have any meaning to me before I read the piece and then went back to re-read. "advocate for the prosecuted" wasn't as obvious as it needed to be as it helps locate the reader as I stated above. this sentence also is a little choppy in regards to syntax and the clause "one master pillet" doesn't fit well in comma closure.

Mithrilan Great Grand Hall of Higher Fairness and Justice.

again, this didn't take on any meaning until I came back and reread. this might be my fault as the reader for not paying attention enough, but this is just my personal experience with the piece.

He was a wreck of a man, that Master Pillet, hiding from the world behind a large, curly brown moustache squatting and quivering on his upper lip, a small, hunched demeanor under a balding head. Wiping soggy nose and swatting at wet eyes,

Nice!!! but is he crying or just the classic stuffy little man?

the Great Grand Duke of Mithril himself decided to honor and enlighten the proceedings with his ,in turn, most honorable and enlightened person

needs to be commas


and that's about it.. good job with being original and establishing mood. there is definitely talent here and i look forward to more installments