Why I Hate Liking You

Critique

I hate wishing upon every star,

That is so cliché. Take it out.

Most of this is telling. If you left it at this on purpose, good job. If you were trying to show everything... It didn't really work.

The title is kind of boring since you list all the reasons why this person is being hated.


Compliment

Knowing that ‘we’ may never be.

I love that part. It makes perfect sense and it adds a little twist to the flow of the poem (for the better) because it rhymes.

I hate that I constantly notice you,
But when I’m around, you’re blind.

That is my second favorite part (the "'we' may never be" is my first fav).
You should take out the comma, though, because it's not needed.


Nice work and I enjoyed reading it.

- Summerless <3~

I agree with Summerless. The way you can make it longer is to show, not tell. Have the reader experience the burning cheeks of a blush or the irritation when this crush doesn't pick up. Also, the '&' needs to be replaced with 'and'. It sounds more professional.

I agree and disagree with Summerless about the good parts. The "knowing that 'we'..." is good, but very cliche. Replace it with something stronger and less overused. I like the last one too, but that is cliche also. Change the wording a little bit.

Good start, but needs some work.

Grade: C-

thats pretty good. I can relate to it a lot.
"knowing that 'we' may never be"
that something that im sure a lot of people can relate to

As soon as i read this i thought about that one person for me. I got over her now anyway. Thank god haha.

All I have to say is that you could maybe reduce the amount of "I hate" while still getting the point across.

Also in the first stanza personally i would use "Hey" instead of "Hi" to finish it off.