Wifey

5 posts
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Gender Male
Points 1106
Reviews 614
Call this what you will, I just had an idea for a story and thought it would be cool to express it through poetry.

Wifey

My wife's a cheating know it all.
I've seen her fucking up a wall
with old guys, with wise guys,
with all the fucking bald guys.

She thinks I'm stupid (thick and dumb),
but I've known a while. If she should come
back home soon, Ill fight with her,
call the shots, lay down the law.

She's at the door.

I groom myself, suck some gum.
I let her in, we have some fun.
It didn't take long to strangle her
with her ancient soft fox fur.

I drag the corpse into the night;
drive around to calm my fright.
I find a place: an unwalked hill
I drag her to a pond her until

her phone rings three times.
I answer it. Its Miles.
The boyfriend, the loser
of the motherfucking chooser.

"Come round," I say, "at four o'clock"
(my voice is calm, trying not to mock).
"Sure sure sure, yes yes yes."
I'll make the sneak confess!

I chuck in wifey and watch her drown
then head right on back to town.
I tidy round the sexed-up house
Then wait for Miles. Ready to pounce.

A noise in the bathroom. It's got to be Miles
playing with lipstick, blusher and nail files.
I get my gun and kick down the door
No one's there, I search for more.


I approach the mirror and see myself:
The sneak is on the bathroom shelf
The moment dawns, I confess my wrongs
It was paranoia in my lover's thongs.

I cock the pistol in my hands.
Pull the trigger. Bang bang bang.
Shards of glass fall to the floor.
God – more knocking at the door!

It is my wife dressed in a lilac gown.
She isn't smiling, she wears a frown
of disappointment. I force a kiss onto her head.
Pull the trigger. Bang I'm----
Previously known as "Phorcys"
Witherwings Harry Potter RPG




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Gender None specified
Points 1090
Reviews 62
Dark, very dark. However very good. You're definitely right about it being interesting to convey through poetry.

The only part that confused me a bit was this line:

A noise in the bathroom. It's got to be Miles


Any particular reason he's in the bathroom? I dunno, maybe I've got the wrong end of the stick...




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 54
I rather couldn't follow it. It sounded as though he killed her, and then she was there... clear it up?
I'm
an Atheist, a young teen girl, someone who loves Harry Potter and hates Twilight, someone who doesn't see deepness in everything, a person who has never suffered from any diseases of any sort.
I'm average, but...

I'm still a writer.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 23425
Reviews 566
A couple of nit-picky things - Miles doesn't rhyme with times, and sucking gum sounds weird when it's usually chewed. Oh and it should be around, not round, or 'round if you want to abbreviate it, that always annoys me. The end left me slightly confused, as well, but I really enjoyed reading it before I got confused, hehe.
Matt.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 5
Bang I'm ??? --- DEAD?
dark...beautifully dark.
It never hurts anybody to be told that they are loved.
To say to somebody, "I Love You"...
It may not change a thing, but it's nice to know.

strawberry flushed cheeks of the candy queen



it is quite something to wound someone and then pity their scars
— canopy