Remember being a Newb?

Eek, I know I do. Today I was looking at some of my reviews and stories from when I first joined the site (a little more than two years ago), and lets just say I was painfully embarrased.

I mean, I was such a total and complete newb that it was almost scary. My stories were suckish to say the least, and my reviews were nothing short of laughable. Here's an example:

Interesting beggining but some people may not agree with you.

Like me cuz i think life is short.

But never mind me and Is going to be a story or just this?


-Tony

And another:

it thought it was funny although it didn't really rhyme(i dont think it's supposed too)

anyway it was good.(what is c-day? christmas?)

really caputres a girl when she gets the wrong present.

(poor guy)

Yes, at one point this was actually the type of review that I would give, and I believed I was being helpful. But in all seriousness, I don't doubt that I may have been the newb of newbs when I first joined, because that's fail-at-life material right there. xD

So thank you, YWS, for helping me to eventually rise up from the depths of major suckishness into the glory of decent non-laughableness. ^_^

[s]BlackGhost[/s]

At least that was years ago for you. For me it was just the one year ago but I picked up some pretty bad habits on other forums where short, kind critiques were encouraged and these were my first two:

Hmmm. I'm not sure about this one. I like the idea behind it but I agree that it needs a little work. It's very raw and I think with a bit more imagery it could be very effective. You say you're lost for different reasons than what we'd think... so why not bring that into the poem? I can understand if it's quite personal but I just feel that there needs to be something more to make it unique.

The rhythm of this poem is really good and I like how it draws the reader in. I love the final line, it's very emotional and the whole extended metaphor of the light bulb is very imaginative.

Hehe. So much thanks to Suzie who let me know that the policies over here are rather different =)

I haven't been around very long, so I haven't had much chance to improve, yet. Here's the link to the very first review I posted on this site:

post387358.html?highlight=#387358

It's too long to post here. No need for page-stretching.

And here is my first poetry review:

Only one thing:
"Dying while writing this rhyme"
The words "while writing" slow down the rhythm of this poem. I'd suggest something like this:
"Dying as I write this rhyme."

That aside, this poem was very well-written. Here's my favorite line:
"Should I blow my mind
Or let the evil in?"

I don't think it's necessary to have commas on the ends of lines in poetry, as the line break suggests everything that the comma does. Oh, and as the previous reviewer stated, "began" should be "begun" in the second line of the second stanza.

I'm not a big poetry buff, but I love when things flow in nice, rhythmic rhymes, and your poem is a perfect example of this. Keep up the good work!

Four years ago this November I was a newb, although there weren't many people around to witness it. Also luckily I never used chat speak (never really have).

My first review was somewhat unhelpful:

I really liked reading this, especially enjoying the first paragraph.

Perhaps this opening part is a bit pacey? I'd like to see a bit more put in here, unless it was meaningfully fast.

I also spotted a typo

Quote:
t took her a few moments to get over her idignation


'idignation' should be 'indignation'.

Otherwise, really cool, can't wait for the next part.

Second review was a poem by bubbles:

I'm not a fan of poetry, but I read this and for once, I was really impressed and engrossed by a poem.

I can't comment on it much, I'm nothing of a poet, but it sounds and reads excellently. This was really really good.

lol @ not being a fan of poetry. newbish me.

I can't stand looking at my old posts because I want to go and edit/delete them all. And that wasn't such a long time ago, either. Oy vey. ><

Hehe =] I've only been here like a month or something! I've already improved a lot in my reviewing and editing of my own work though, this place has actually taught me a lot.

I'm a fairly new member. 2 1/2 months! But I have like 700 posts. Egad!

I went and found my first review out of curiosity:

I find this really amusing! It's original and funny, and I am a sucker for Christian mythology turned into fantasy story. It definitely catches the attention when the first line is dialogue from god.

The dialogue can get confusing though, because at the beginning you rarely say who is speaking. Maybe just a name here or there. Just this one thing, is all I can say for now.

Ooooh, look how helpful I am. XD

My reviews are much longer now, I swear.

I haven't been here more than a few months but I'm pretty sure my reviews have improved greatly since I first joined:

That was a great exert! I loved all of the figurative language; I want to read more!

My first review.

That was a great story. I can't write like that no matter how hard I try. The grammer is a little bad but that's not your fault; its hard to write in a short ammount of time without a least a few grammatical mistakes.

My second review.

Those were both posted the first day I joined...laugh if you want.

-alwaysawriter

I find that my non-newbieness is really is about who you ae. YOU can stop being a n00b or not, it all deapends on who you is.
MATT

Oh yeah. It was sooo long ago (not).

Boy, how the time flies.

Oh god. I really hope I've improved, considering this was my first review, a year and a bit ago now=

Don't forget the importance of sentence length. If sentences are too long they tend to get... well... rambley. Long sentences are fine when describing things but try to break it up with some shorter, to-the-point sentences.

(I'm one of those people who love a bit of action)

But the prologue is great. It gets to the point quickly. I dont have time to read the rest but I will. Great story in the making!

-.-

See that? I didn't even read the whole thing 0.o

Hehe...I definitely remember. =P

It is pretty good. But children are young. How do they leave? Do they leave in groups if children? There parents left, who is taking all the children? Besides these Qs its pretty good!


Me again

and...

I like your poem very much, I really like the ending "If even he
Exists."

It sounds pretty cool! Keep up the good work on the poetry, storys, and all those type if things! If you ever want any feed back PM me! Cool


FireArris

Yeah...>.>

It's been... about 6 months?

Yes, I have learnt a lot to say the least.

I wasn't ever as bad as you guys - at least I don't think. I surfed the site silently for a week or so and knew what was going on without making a fool of myself, and I was gone so often that I didn't have time to be an insanely newbie newb. But my critiques were never too bad... hmm, let's go see my first.

If you do post more, please PM me. I really enjoyed it.

I would have liked if you had added more detail about the bruise, why she was texting him if he had hurt her, and what happened when she met him. Also, she didn't seem very enthusiastic when she explained meeting him. It almost seemed rushed in that section, although that could be because it's just an essay. [I think I meant chapter...?]

Is the title just a working title? Because it doesn't really grab your attention. Although I shouldn't be talking, my titles stink! Also, you might want to confirm that Faith is a guy earlier on. It kind of confused me. I can see Amrita as a boy or girl, but Faith I see as only a girl. But that could just be me. I love the name Amrita, though!

Anything else I found was already said. But I really liked it! It didn't have too much romance, but it hinted at it. I wouldn't mind if it had a little bit more, but it's good that it wasn't over-the-top like a lot I've read.

My second one was already improved a lot - nit-picks and detailed. Here's a link 'cause it's too long to copy and paste here. But ewwers... I wrote 'lol' at the very end! *Dies*

So yea... I kinda skipped the newbie stage. xD

~JFW1415