delinquent love

the sirens are calling
across the city you flash red and blue
but it's the screaming and the blood
that really betrays your presence

walking casually across their hearts
you laughed at coronary complaints
and refused to take an interview
but instead just wandered past their waiting eyes
and tv cameras with the cool look of a serial killer

with six-guns and the night so young
you blasted them away and took the money
cleaned out their wallets and made a clean
get-away. and how they loved it.

prison bars and shiny badges don't hold you back
so how can a man ever try to be
everything you want him to

they know they've failed
as they stare at the stars
and wonder how it all went wrong
like dolls with pencil holes they lie
solemn and silent

and one of them scrawls a dying wish into
the mud and sewage of a forgotten ditch

stop reducing my soul to just four letters.

It felt, to me, at least, that the person whom the poem was written about changed multiple times throughout the poem (i.e. poems begins with 'you' and ends with 'me'). And while it can be an artful technique, I don't particularly see the benefit it gives this poem; if anything, it only clutters it up and makes it harder than it should be.

I liked the last line.

Yeah, I have to agree with Brad.

The poem, for the most part, was fairly predictable, and yeah, I could follow it. OK. But then, BAM!, there's the last line...which was great (if you didn't take the hint).

It wasn't actually a "bam" because the rest of the poem was not "bam." It has to be a recursive pattern, or a build-up, which made the ending much less effective than it could have and should have been.

I like it. Original as usual, and of course the last line was brilliant.

hmmm....I guess I'm hard to impress today. The last line was sheer brilliance...the rest...well, I don't know, it confused me, but I still liked it to an extent.