No title - my first time posting!

So... this is the first part of a short story I'm writing. It's my first time posting so I wanted to try it out with a short piece to see what sort of response I get.

I stepped outside and inhaled the crisp morning air like a drowning man, letting my face break into the first smile it had worn in days. My legs carried me down the front porch steps as freedom washed over me, leaving me more liberated than a convict escaped from prison. It terrified me how much I needed these morning runs, and in the past year it had become evident that they were as essential to my wife’s life as they were to mine.

I began to run, and like every other morning, the mask I had been wearing for the past five years temporarily detached itself from my features, and the latest layers of emotion packed exterior also slowly shed themselves from my body.

The first to go was guilt. My arms pumped up and down, while my feet rhythmically hit the pavement, allowing the guilt that had built up since yesterday to be shed from my flesh like a snake sheds its skin. Instantly lighter, my legs stretched wider, and my lungs breathed deeper, as sadness quickly cast itself from my body as well. Pity was the next to go. I wriggled out of it like a garment while waving a mental goodbye, happily relieved to witness its departure.

The last layer was gripping me tight, and I could feel its deadly squeeze on my chest, its unyielding clutch on my body. I had repressed this emotion, and this battle was my punishment. Being hidden in the dark recesses of my brain and buried deep within my psyche, made removing its deadly membrane from my skin a battle each day.

The last layer was resentment, and the greater part of my morning run was spent extracting it from my body. Piece by piece I could feel my feelings of resentment melt, and leak out of me in the form of sweat. Soon it was escaping out of my every pore, and I was dripping in it. Dripping in the resentment that I felt for my wife and the dismal life she had so unintentionally brought upon me.

Hello there First of all I would like to say welcome since you have only been here for a day, so...WELCOME!!!!

Now, to the critique. I would like to say very well done, I highly enjoyed it.

I began to run, and like every other morning, the mask I had been wearing for the past five years temporarily detached itself from my features, and the latest layers of emotion packed exterior also slowly shed themselves from my body.

Here, the final sentence seemed to flow better like this(for me); ".., the latest layers of emotion packed exterior slowly shedding themselves from my body."

Thats really all I had to comment on. Good job!

I look forward to reading more of your material in the future

Fayne

Hey, welcome to YWS!

I liked this. I especially loved the metaphors you used in the first paragraph and how you described each emotion as a layer in your mc's body. I only found that one weird sentence that FinalFreedom already stated, otherwise it was perfect.

I really enjoyed this, and I look forward to reading more of it.

~Dommy

I like how you eased into the scene with so much descriptiveness, and the beginning and end tie the thing together well. I would also say the main mistake was the sentence mentioned above. Well done.