In This Life

In This Life

The roads are filled with people,
walking past the tall skyscrapers
that line the streets.

As I stroll in the park,
the lush trees, the soft breeze
is just enough for company.
And nearby, mothers and children,
holding their ice creams
laugh and chatter happily.

I turn towards the sky,
watching a flock of birds fly,
far away into the distant clouds.
As a child, I used to wonder,
if I had wings, where would I go?

This is the world,
full of dreams and desires
that float aimlessly in the air.
But I don't wish to be like that,
I just want to live my life
with you by my side.
And we'll carry our visions
forward.

Forever.

I liked the feeling in this poem. I could almost see the park you were walking through, the imagery was pretty good.

The roads are filled with people,
walking past the tall skyscrapers
that line the streets.

I liked the first stanza, but it needed a little something. It's sort of a blah beginning of a poem, and it could be a lot better with a little more imagery. Skyscrapers are obviously tall, so maybe you could use something else in place of it? Or, remove it altogether. Just add a little more detail, and it'll captivate the reader into continuing along with the poem.

As I stroll in the park,
the lush trees, the soft breeze
is just enough for company.
And nearby, mothers and children,
holding their ice creams
laugh and chatter happily.

I liked the first three lines! The way you rhymed 'trees' and 'breeze' is pretty good, and I liked the beginning. The next three lines help with the imagery, but they seemed off a bit. I think you're missing a comma after the fifth line. It'll help keep the flow of rhythm =]

I turn towards the sky,
watching a flock of birds fly,
far away into the distant clouds.
As a child, I used to wonder,
if I had wings, where would I go?

I liked this stanza as well, it's my favorite. The last two lines are gorgeous.

This is the world,
full of dreams and desires
that float aimlessly in the air.
But I don't wish to be like that,
I just want to live my life
with you by my side.
And we'll carry our visions
forward.

Forever.

Amazing last stanza, and ending =]

Overall, I loved this piece! Keep writing!

I liked the poem. I liked that you described the walk in the park. It was
imaginary, and so real. I could vision in my head what was going on
while reading the poem. Great poem!!!!
You are a good writer I admire your work. Keep on doing what
you are doing. I see a lot of people are emjoying your poem as much as I am.

I found the words of this poem quite enjoyable and interesting. I liked the city coming right before the park. To me, it makes the "lush trees" seem that much more enjoyable. I like the line "just enough for company", as well. The third stanza's my favorite. I very much like the end as well. The meaning is so nice. I really love the meaning, I guess is what I mean to say. Great job.
See you around.

Nice poem, but I found it a bit random.

Walking past the skyscrapers which lead to the park, I understand that, but then you move on to:

"As a child, I used to wonder,
if I had wings, where would I go?"

And that you/or the character wants to be with the one that they desire and be able to move forward with their dreams. Perhaps I am just confusing myself...? But I recommend that you try stay with your desired topic and attempt to make the flow of the poem a bit better. Other than that, good job!