This is the first piece of fiction I've written in a long time. I don't know how good it is. I would like to know what you all think of it. I hope to make it longer. But I'm stumped right now, and I'd like to get some reviews on it.
**UPDATE**
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The house was huge! Elaine couldn’t believe it when she had first seen the house from the car. It was so much bigger than their old house! It was like a mansion! As soon as she got inside she wanted to explore.
When she started to take off, her mother grabbed her hand, “Don’t you want to see your new room, Elaine?”
“Yeah! Where is it? Is it pretty? Is it big? I bet it is. This place is huge!” Elaine said as she was led up the stairs and to the back of the house by her mother. “WOAH!”
“Do you like it, honey?”
“Yeah, it’s big!”
Elaine’s mother laughed, “I’m glad you like it.”
Abruptly, Elaine turned around, “Can I see the rest of the house?”
Surprised, her mother asked, “Don’t you want to unpack your stuff.”
Elaine told her mother that she didn’t, she just wanted to see the house.
“Well, alright, then, hon, I’ll show you the rest of the house.”
“I wanna look at it on my own,” Elaine wanted to explore, not be shown around the house.
“Well, ok then, honey,” her mother said as Elaine took off down the hall, Elaine had always been a loner, maybe in this new town she’d make some friends.
Elaine explored every nook of the old house. All the floors were wood and stained a deep shiny color, almost the same as Elaine’s hair. It was very old fashioned and very fascinating. Her old house had been so tiny, her old room had been over flowing with stuffed animals. Suddenly, she was afraid the room would be too big for her and her stuffed animals. She had to go see the room again. What if the room was scary at night? She ran upstairs as quick as her feet could carrier her. When she reached the landing at the top of the stairs, she stopped.
There was a man down the hall way. He was dressed funnily, not at all like her father dressed. His clothing was fancy, and he had a funny hat on.
“Mister! Mister,” the man stopped and turned his head, “Mister, are you allowed to be here? This is my house,” the child asked with a five year olds impetuousness.
The man looked absolutely taken aback, “Pardon me, miss, but you can see me?”
"Yes, silly! I can see you! And this is my new house; I live here with my mommy and my daddy! Are you allowed to be here?”
“I live here as well.”
“Mister, can you be my new friend? I don’t have any friends here.”
How could the man refuse such an offer? It had been so long since anyone had been able to see him. He hadn’t conversed with another soul, let alone another person, for years.
“Of course I will be your friend. But first, I shall have to know your name.”
Taking her new friend by the hand she said, “My name’s Elaine. What’s yours?”
“I am Edward,” the man said as Elaine led him off to play.
“Do you want to see my room, Edward? It’s huge! This whole house is huge! Huger that my old house. Way huger,” Elaine led Edward off without waiting for his answer. She led him to the end of the hallway on the second floor, past her parent’s room, which was larger than hers, past the bathroom, past the linen closet, and through an open door at the end of the hall.
The room was a monstrosity, to Elaine at least, Edward, however, was more familiar with the scale. Light streamed through the big windows, four in all. The walls were pale and spotless which accentuated the high ceiling.
“Isn’t it huge?” Elaine asked, jumping in the air, clearly excited.
Edward chuckled. The girls enthusiasm as contagious, but he still didn’t know how or why she could see him. Of all the children of all the families who had lived here why was this one different? Elaine ran to a corner where some boxes had already been placed. She quickly dug into one marked ‘toys’ and emerged triumphantly with a small red ball, which she promptly threw at Edward.
Instinctively, somehow he still had instincts, he put his hand out to catch it, and it landed silently in his hand. He was stunned. He stared at the ball. Physical objects usually just glided through him or he through them. But he had caught this shiny red ball. Edward was utterly bewildered, how had this happened?
“Edward! Throw it back! That’s how you play the game!” Elaine yelled. And Edward threw it back, still stunned. The pair played catch, but not for long, Elaine soon decided she was hungry.
“I’m gonna get the rest of my Oreos! Wait right here Edward!” And Elaine rushed out the cavernous room, down the hall, and clambered down the stairs.
Marie, Elaine’s mother, heard her daughters noisy rush down the stairs and smiled; she hoped Elaine would adjust to the move. There were more changes than just a new house, Elaine would be starting kindergarten in the fall. Marie was optimistic for the future, however.
“Mommy, Mommy,” Elaine streaked into the kitchen where her mother was unpacking glassware, “My new friend and me want my Oreos! Where are they?”
Marie turned around, “Your new friend?”
“I met him upstairs, his name is Edward."
Marie nodded and reached for Elaine’s cookies, “Mind if I go with you to meet your friend?” she asked.
A big smile crept across Elaine’s face, “Yeah! Come on! You’ll love him,” she said quickly and led her mom upstairs running.
“Edward! My mom wants to meet you,” Elaine streaked back up the stairs and down the hall to her room. “Edward, my mom wants to meet you,” she repeated as she neared the door.
A funny half smile stretched across his face. Perhaps this girl’s mother would be able to see him as well, “By all means, Elaine, bring her in.”
Marie entered the room, and looked around. She saw no one. She had expected as much, but relief still washed over her; Marie was a worrier. Elaine had an imaginary friend; the only thing that surprised Marie is that she’d taken so long to invent one. Marie reached down towards her daughter, “I see, honey, you have an imaginary friend. How nice.”
“No, He’s right there, Mommy,” Elaine pointed to a spot directly in front of her mother.
Elaine looked up at her mom, confused. Why couldn’t her mom see Edward? She repeated her self. Edward was right in front of them.
“Here are your cookies, hon, have fun,” Marie handed Elaine the cookies and exited the room.
Elaine had tears swelling in her big eyes, “Edward, why couldn’t she see you?”
Edward sighed, disappointed, he shook his head, so it was just something special about Elaine. Why her?
“Edward, Edward,” Elaine said, trying to get his attention, tears streaming down her face, “Why couldn’t my mom see you, Edward?”
He looked her full in the face, the poor girl looked utterly confused. Edward was as well, but he at least knew why her mom couldn’t see him. He saw the pain on Elaine’s face and he reached out to her. She fell in to his arms, weeping. He was again shocked that she didn’t fall right through him, but she fell into him, as though he were still alive. Edward pulled Elaine up in his arms and carried her to the bed, which had already been set up. He propped her up against the pillow and wiped the tears from beneath her eyes. She looked at him, searching for an answer.
Edward wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t have the slightest clue as to how to explain himself. He took a deep breath, “Elaine, I’m not like you, I’m not like your mother; I am not living. I died long ago.” He looked at Elaine. He wished that was enough, but he knew it wasn’t. Her piercing green eyes still stared right into his, “I suppose what you’d call me is a…ghost.” He hated the word, but what else could he say?
“But, but…” Elaine stammered, still crying, “you’re not scary though, ghosts have to be scary.”
“Scary or not, Elaine, I am not alive, I am a spirit, a soul, imprisoned on earth, between life and death. I’m sorry, Elaine,” Edward rose up off the bed, and began to exit the room.
As he neared the door Elaine called for him to wait, “Edward, can ghosts still have friends?”
Edward turned back towards the child on the bed and a smile crept across his face, “Yes, Elaine, ghosts can have friends.”
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