"My Mother Says I'm Guilty"

When writing about a beautiful shadow,
Companionship finds me hugging myself.
My knees will then buckle.
My sanity will falter,
But that's why I called him in the first place:
For help.

He dresses in black to save the blue world,
Yet I've made him become my personal knight.
He holds me tonight,
Tonight while I cry,
And keeps me from plunging after
Sadness.

I want him to be real, but I don't.
I can't betray him... I just can't.
(He's too good.)

I need
A friend.
Like you:
A lover,
But don't come to life,
Unless you're
The One.
My heart,
It screams for him...
The ordinary one...
Perhaps.

He runs a few laps around my still mind.
The shadow or him, I can't possibly choose.
They've given me life.
They're both a big lie,
But the Shadow... I know I need you
For help.

I want him to be real, but I don't.
I can't betray him... I just can't.
(He's too good.)

I need
A friend.
Like you:
A lover,
But don't come to life,
Unless you're
The One.
My heart,
It screams for him...
The ordinary one...

I need
A friend
(to hold me when I cry.)
Like you:
A lover.
(Don't leave me here tonight.)
But don't come to life,
Unless you're
The One.
My heart,
It screams for him...
The ordinary one...
Perhaps.

------

I appreciate all criticism.

That was really deep, easy to relate to. Only 16? Wow. Keep up the richness in your writing, you have a gift. I really like repitition in any literature.

This was good, but I don't get how the title has anything to do with the writing. I like the uncoinvential lyrics, though; they're all gaa-he-likes-me. You don't need to cut off every line after two words, though, that gets a little annoying. I would also add more verses like the first two, they add some different things to the lyrics.

I'm not in the mood to do a full-on review, so I'll just give you my comments (Sorry, post in my lyrics request thread if you want a full review and I'll get onto it a bit later, okay?)

I thought this was pretty good. I had trouble getting a tune for most of it, but you said it's lyrics from a music video you're making, so it's probably just because I'm tired.

There's weren't any spelling or grammar mistakes that I could see, so good job with that.

My favourite bit was:

I need
A friend
(to hold me when I cry.)
Like you:
A lover.
(Don't leave me here tonight.)
But don't come to life,
Unless you're
The One.
My heart,
It screams for him...
The ordinary one...
Perhaps.

Good job!