I know this has some spelling errors but please try to read through.
Eddy Sullivan followed the guard down the long white hall. In his mind he was assured that he was perfectly safe but something in his heart was pleading for him to leave. He nervously clutched his bag as he eyed the doors they passed on either side. The doors were made of solid steel and had a slot at eye level which was used to see into the room it kept locked away. A few of the doors looked even as if the had been severely beaten. He now felt the disturbing sensation of some kind of sprit attempting to creep into his soul. Eddy fixed his eyes downward and attempted to concentrate on the guard’s feet. He watched as his shined black shoes ascended and descended back to the floor in a strange sort of hypnotic motion.
He watched until they both came to a complete stop. He lifted his gaze up to the guard as he unlocked a door at the end of the hall. Over the door was a sign with the words, “Integration room A”. As he waited his attention was drawn up to the corner where a security camera was fixed. He stared into it for a moment and then returned his eyes back to the guard. Once the door was opened he cautiously entered being weary of where he moved. He found himself a chair at the table that was seated in the middle of the room. He looked at his reflection in the one way mirror. His young face was clean and shaven, his brown hair was combed over to the side and his green eyes were covered with glasses.
Out of his bag he pulled out his laptop and started to begin setting it up.
“I’m sorry but you cannot use that in here.” the guard said. “I’m not sure why they let you take it this far.”
“I’m going to need to take notes.” said Eddy.
“Paper,”
“… Yes of course.” Eddy said with a sigh. He returned the laptop and replaced it with a notepad and a pencil.
He looked up at the clock which was place directly over the door. Its hand pointed to one minute before 11:00.
Tension filled the room as he waited for the second hand to strike 12. He stared back at the one way mirror guessing without doubt that there was someone staring back at him. The second hand glided past the six and now started to climb to 7.
He checked his own watch to see whether there would be a difference in times. Just as his hand hit the eight on his wrist so did the one on the wall.
He watched the guard as he stood for just a moment and then back to the clock just in time to see it leave nine and then hit ten.
He tapped his fingers on the table.
The hand hit eleven. His eyes were glued to the clock. 11:55, 11:56, 57, 58, 59, 12:00.
A loud ring rang from the outside. Eddy jumped in his seat. There was commotion and footsteps began to approach. Out of fear, Eddy looked down to stare at his hands as they began to fidget nervously. He heard the door open, two persons approach the table which he was seated, and one being forced to sit down.
After what seemed to be an eternity Eddy finally summoned the courage to look back up. And there he was… a man, his face (unlike Eddy’s) was unshaven and dirty, his eyes stared right through him, his hair was short and thin, and his body was skinny and week looking. His hands were cuffed and wore a thin blue jumpsuit.
“Hello… my name is Edward Sullivan; I write for Dialogue Weekly, we are a magazine that is currently having a special issue about real life people.” he said. “I chose to do my story on you….” The man did not move a muscle, for a matter of fact he didn’t even acknowledge his presence.
“The old kook never talks to anyone.” said the guard who had brought him in. Eddy jumped when he herd his voice, he hadn’t noticed him.
“That’s why they locked him up here.” he continued.
Eddy nodded.
“Mr. Blunt, I would really appreciate it if you could answer a few of my questions.” The man continued to stare through him.
“Um… maybe we could start with before you committed the murders… maybe you could tell me how they were connected to you?” The man made no movement still.
“I told you, he doesn’t talk to any one.” the guard injected.
“Yes of course.” said Eddy as he packed away his notes. “I’m sorry I took up so much of your time.” He sat up and began to leave the room.
“I have much time to give,” said an old quiet voice which made Eddy stop dead in his tracks.
“What… what was that?” he asked the old man.
“My time is of no importance, I have much to give you Mr. Sullivan.”
Eddy looked over to the guards (which were equally astounded) for guidance.
“Yes… thank you Mr. Blunt.” he said as he replaced his notepad and return to his chair. “I thought that maybe we could start from the beginning.”
“The beginning, it seems like so long ago. It was 1977; I was young, only 25 years old. My life was average, nothing special happened much. I worked as a taxi cab driver in Chicago. I hated my job, like everyone else I suppose. But sometimes I would pick up some… odd people. They were very nervous looking people and curious looking people. I could only suspect that drugs were involved somehow so I never talked to them. They told me where they wanted to go and would say “Ok” and drive them, when we arrived I gave them the cab fare most of the time they would pay it without complaints. With some people I probably could have charged them three times as much and they would not notice. Although, of course, I would never do that, in fact I was so much of a coward that I would sometimes charge them less out of fear that they would get angry with the price and try to hurt me.” he said as he chuckled. “Once, on a Saturday night, I was working late, I needed to make enough money in order to pay some of my late bills. I saw someone and I stopped for them. I can’t remember where they wanted to go. It was too dark, I couldn’t see there face. There voice was grumbled; it surprised me that I even herd where they wanted to go. I could tell that something was wrong, I was so afraid; I didn’t even have the courage to look at them.
“We arrived at the location and I told him what the fare was, it was around $30 I believe. He got nervous, I thought that he just didn’t have the money and would probably run off. But then he pulled a knife on me. He said to give him the money or else would kill me. And then this feeling came over me, I had never felt anything like it before. I grabbed his hand and punched him. He fought back of course. I leaped in the back seat to try to get a better angle on him. He dropped the knife I think, or else he would have stabbed me for sure.
“We rolled out of the car and fell onto the concrete. I finally found my way to their neck and grabbed hold of it as soon as I had a chance. I squeezed it as hard as I could. I was so angry, nothing could have stopped me, and that’s when I finally saw his face. But it was not his face.”
“What does that mean?” Eddy interrupted. “What did you mean it wasn’t his face?”
“It was not his face. It was not a ‘him’ at all; it was a woman I was chocking. I stared into her eyes as I smothered the last bit of life out of her. I could not have stopped if I had wanted to. The feeling I had gave me the strength and will to do anything I desired. I had been stressed out that month. I was out of money and was running out of food. I was forced to work late into the night and sometimes well into the morning. And last thing I needed was some punk trying to steal what I needed more than anything. I felt an enormous amount of hatred. I thought to myself why should I let this person take away from me what I needed to stay alive. And would they have used it for, to buy alcohol or drugs? No, I could not let that happen to me. Not then, at all the times for it to have happened to me, not then.
“I called the police and told them that there was a body in the street and then I went home. I went home and tried to forget about it, but I was constantly reminded of it. The television would not stop, the newspapers, and even the radio was relentless. And then about a week after it happened, the police released some information. She was just a girl, 17, pregnant and alone. She had no job and no relatives to help her out. She was only trying to steal money in order to stay alive. This destroyed me. I couldn’t eat, I could sleep, and I couldn’t even function. I had murdered a girl who was just down on her luck. She wasn’t trying to buy drugs or alcohol. She was just trying to get back on her feet. Of course because I couldn’t function I had lost my job. My car had been repossessed and I was on the verge of being kicked out of my apartment.
“One day I finally summoned enough strength to try and find another job. You would not have believed what I went through to find one. I had to live without food for five days. I found a job at a factory that made coats. And that, my friend, is what hell really is. The job was grueling and didn’t pay near enough. I fell into a dark depression. I didn’t speak with anyone at work. When I was at my home I did turn on the lights, listen to the radio watch television, to tell you the truth I hardly ever ate.
“And then one day I finally snapped, I took every one of my possessions and destroyed them, even my clothes.
I kept only the clothes on my back, my trench coat, and a knife. And then I went out. I found a gas station and bought gasoline and a pack of matches. I went back to my apartment and poured the gasoline over all of my possessions. I lit it up and then left. I do not know how many people died in that fire, but once I herd about it on the radio my heart leaped with joy.
“I left the city, knowing that they would not be looking for me, at least not for quite some time. I took a bus to St. Louis; from there I found a cheep apartment and another low rate job. I worked only enough to pay my bills and to buy bread with the rest of what was left over. But at nights I did something different then before. Every night I would walk the streets, searching for someone, someone who gave me that feeling of absolute power.
“I remember the first girl. She had black braids in her hair. She was just standing there on the street, smoking. I came up from behind her and asked her for a light. She was frightened, it wasn’t hard to tell. She lit up my cigarette and then I asked her for her name. ‘Chastity’, she said. I knew she was the one. I hid in the shadows just watching her. I could taste the fear in the air. I waited for an hour or two until a car stopped and picked her up. I acted quickly; I raced down the street as fast as I could, hoping that there would be red light up ahead. And to my luck there was!
“I had a clear view of the car just as I spotted a taxi. I called to it and it picked me up. I demanded for it to follow the car. We arrived and she left the car with the driver. I went to follow when the driver grabbed me by the arm and told me to pay. … That was his last drive he ever had.
“I followed the two up into an apartment. I knocked on the door. A man answered. I said nothing; I just stared right through him. He said something to me but I did not hear. He began to close the door but I kicked it in before it was too late. I took out my knife hacked at him. I herd a scream. And there she was, standing next to the bed. She knew what was coming, I grabbed her by the hair and…”
“Mr. Blunt!” interrupted a disturbed looking Eddy. “Could you please not go in specifics?”
The man just looked at him.
“Of course, we can’t have your readers knowing exactly to decapitate someone. But anyways, I went back down stares and stole the taxi. I dumped the driver’s body off into the Mississippi. The rest of the nights I drove the taxi around, I only chose one a night, I would sometimes have to drive around for hours to find the perfect one, the rest I just collected their money and took them to their location, like I did before.
“A month had past and I was quiet popular, the radio was calling me the taxi cab killer. I had taken over 40 lives. I knew my time there was coming to a close. I needed to leave in the same way that I had left before. I bought gasoline and burned down my apartment building only this time I sealed off all of the exits. I abandoned the cab in a shabby neighborhood. I left the door open and the keys in the ignition. If that car had still been there, even just a piece then I would have been surprised.
“I went to Oklahoma City, again by bus. Although I did not stay, I felt that this city did not need me. It seemed like it would have much more then it could handle. I took a job for four weeks at a gas station; I earned enough money to fly all the way to Las Vegas. It was a city full of sinners. If anything I would be doing that place a favor.
“I cleaned myself up. I bought some clothes, had a hair cut, and found a job at casino as a waiter. From there I had a perfect view of my prey. All of these people belonged to me, every single one, even you belong to me. And if it weren’t for these handcuffs then I would be able to show you what I mean.”
Eddy eased back in his chair and one of the guards began to finger his nightstick.
“But I wouldn’t kill you,” he went on, “You’re a man, I only kill men if they get in my way. Not many ever did, once one even ran away and left me to do my business; I don’t believe he ever even told the police. I would have herd about it. Little a time passes when I’m not glued to the television or radio, hopelessly waiting for some news about my work. Coward, he will spend the rest of his life in misery and woe resenting what he has done.”
“Like you.” interrupted Eddy.
“Me?” he chuckled. “Not me. What I have done is nothing for me to regret. If anything I should be proud for what I have done.”
“And what is that? Murdering countless innocent lives for what, some kind of sick cheap thrill? You are a monster. You don’t even deserve to live this well!”
Eddy’s shouts moved right through the man. He simply just stared at him and rubbed his eyes.
“Well, I can understand your point, but you haven’t seen this world through my eyes. You haven’t walked the streets in my shoes; you cannot understand what I do.”
“I can’t understand that you are just a mad man? Well Mr. Blunt I’m sorry but I don’t think I ever really could, even if I tried.”
“You can protest all you want Mr. Sullivan, but you cannot force your views on me. I am what I am. And that’s all I’ll ever be. My so-called ‘cheap thrill’ is not what you can ever imagine. It is all that has ever touched me, and it is all that I have ever wanted.”
“Then let me tell you something Mr. Blunt, you have missed out on life full of happiness. You will never experience what its like to be in love, or to kiss the woman that you know is the one made for you. You will never know the joy of having your newborn child look back into your eyes, or to watch him as he takes his first steps. You will never have a friendship that has the power to help you out of any hole that you’ve dug yourself into. You will never know the feeling of watching your children raise children of their own. You will never hold your grandchildren or hear them call you grandpa. You sir, have absolutely nothing, only your sick, dark, past that you will never stop feeling. Everyday when you wake up it will be there to greet you. When you eat it will sit next to you. When you go to bed it will be there to tuck you in. And in your dreams it will haunt you until that one blissful day when death finally takes out of your misery. And after that you can only hope to god for mercy.”
The man was intrigued by Eddy’s speech. He looked deeply into his as if he were searching for answers.
Eddy expected him to be offended and leave him but the man sat still. He felt as if hours had past in the few moments of silence.
“You have children, Mr. Sullivan?” the asked.
“Yes, my son Joseph, he is only a year old.”
“And your wife, what is her name?”
“Leah.”
“I haven’t been outdoors since they brought me here 16 years ago. I haven’t felt the wind on my face, the warmth of the sun, or the feeling of grass under my feet in so long. I think that I have forgotten them. Every night I sleep on a cold padded table or at least that’s what it feels like, everyday I’m greeted by a glow of florescent light, and I eat the same bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And you come here and tell me I deserve worse. You can’t get much worse then what I have already. You have the freedom to walk out that door and never see me or this place again. You can feel the sun warm you back, the wind kiss you face, the grass under you feet, and you can feel the hand of you lover stroke your face. But I have not felt these things a very long time; I have not felt them since much before I was arrested. During my time of freedom I started to change, I finally got to a point where I could not feel, everything I eat taste like water, everything I touch feels like stone. Every breath I take in feels as if I were breathing in soot. The only emotions I have a lust and greed. All heat is ice to me. And light, it is not there, light to me is just the absence of shadow. I am not human. I’m nowhere near. I am what is leftover after you die inside.”
Eddy did not feel remorse for the man. He looked down at the poor creature with question.
“How did you finally get caught?” he asked him.
The man smiled and looked away.
“I had been in Las Vegas for three years I do not remember how many I had taken. But I knew it was coming. I knew that it would be soon so I made the decision to do one grand finale. I came to myself and questioned who it would be and how I would do it. It had to be someone important. I raked my mind for months trying to find someone. I hardly ate. I was absolutely consumed by it. And then one day as I was working I saw her. She was singing the most beautiful song I ever herd. She was different then the others. She wasn’t some prostitute off the street or a drunken college girl. She was… perfect. She just seemed to glow in a certain way that I had never seen before.
“I asked who she was. A singer from New York, she had just signed a record deal. If America would miss anyone that I have taken she would be the one. I spent weeks contemplating how I would do it. I wrote out the plan on paper again and again until I knew it by heart. And then the day finally came. I had quit my job a week before. She was performing at the casino. I had arrived there as a guest. I wore a wig and glasses and I grew my facial hair out. No one recognized me.
“The performance was phenomenal. I had seen three times before as a waiter but as a guest it was like something I had never seen before. I watched her ever so steadily. I don’t think I took my eyes off of her once. After the show I let myself into the back with a key which I had copied. I found a broom closet and lit it on fire with my lighter. I only had a few minutes time before anyone would notice the smoke. I got into her dressing room easily enough, the door wasn’t locked. Just as I closed the door she came out of her bathroom. I turned to look her in the eye. She asked who I was and what I was doing there. I did not answer. And then suddenly the fire alarm sounded. She panicked. I grabbed her and forced my knife into her heart four times. One for every time I watched her sing. With her blood I wrote on the door ‘the end’. I left by a window in her room. In the back ally I dressed myself in a firefighter’s uniform which I had hidden previously. Once I herd the sirens I knew I was safe.
“I joined in with the men; there were two trucks there so I was sure they wouldn’t find me out of place. I herd screams of murder and my heart leapt just as it always did. Once the men were preoccupied with her it was more than easy to slip away unnoticed. From there I drove my car directly to the airport from which I flew all the way down to Guadalajara Mexico. And from then on I lived happily ever after.”
Eddy gave him a questioning stare.
“Then if you were in Mexico how did they find you?” he asked him.
“They did find me. They would never have been able to find me. They had failed in their mission to find me. They had lost. I knew that I had beaten them. I knew that I was the dominant contender in the battle. And then from there I knew what I had to do. I had to let my story be known. I had outsmarted the system! I was invincible! Nothing could ever happen to me ever! So I went back to America. And I went to a magazine just like your and I told them my story of how had taken the singer. I gave told them exactly how I had down it down to the finest details. And then I told them how I had taken countless others. I gave the finest details about all of them. And then I told them of how I had beaten the system. Of how I was invincible and that nothing could touch me. And then I told them exactly where I was living and that I would be there waiting for the police to come and take me away.
“And so the next day the magazine came out. Controversy arose from everywhere. The newspapers and television spoke of what was happening and my heart leaped for joy again just as it had done when I herd of my work. But now the feeling stayed, it was as if everyone knowing of what I had done and how I had gotten away was even better then anything could have done ever. And so the came to my home, and took me away. Fist they took me to prison but after a while they seemed to realize that I was different then the rest of the people there. They began to take me to places like this filled with people who asked me questions just like you have. And here I am today sitting before you. And here you are now, asking me questions, attempting ever so hard the shed some light over my very dark past.”
“So you are here today because you turned yourself in?”
The man simply smiled.
“Do you have any more questions?” he asked.
“No, I think I have what I need.” Eddy replied as he stood himself up.
“In that case I wish to return to my room where I am perfectly fine. Mr. Sullivan the fact of the matter is if there were no guards or walls here to keep me in I would still stay. There is nothing more for me out there. Your wind, your sun, your grass, and even your love I do not need to sustain me. I am perfectly fine right where I am now.”
The man finished and smiled largely at him. The guard lifted him to his feet and led him out of the room and down hall back to his cell.
Eddy looked over his notes. The man’s story had shaken his spirit and sickened his mind. He was disturbed by the man’s belief of invincibility.
He could not keep his mind from racing as he drove home. How could this man live some comfortably in such terrible conditions? How could he live so peacefully with such a past behind him?
These questions continued to plague him as he drove up his driveway. He walked up the path and onto his porch. He sat there for a minute continuing to think.
This man had led I life filled with unspeakable evils and yet he is quite happy with himself. He had just heard some his story and he was sickened. This man had absolutely nothing. He did not deserve to be so happy.
He watched as the afternoon slowly crept into night. And then suddenly his eyes were covered up by hands.
“What are you doing out here?” said a sweet voice from behind.
He turned around and saw a beautiful redheaded woman. He kissed her.
“I’m sorry, I was just thinking.”
They went into the house and there to greet him was his son. He picked him up and kissed him on the cheek.
Eddy felt completely at peace. He then felt something he did not expect. He felt compassion for the man. The pitiful creature had nothing compared to him.
Eddy turned to his wife and kissed her again.
“I love you Leah, I always will.
