CHAPTER 4
OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS
“Come in, Charles! Come in!” A cheery and elderly woman’s voice called out as my father knocked on the door. I knew this to be a sign that she was in a foul mood. My grandmother always sounded pleasant when she was angry about something. We walked through the large entry hall and into one of the back rooms that resembled that of a country club’s lounge. My grandmother sat in a comfortable, stuffed mahogany chair a smile on her face. Suprised her fangs weren’t showing yet, the bloodsucking witch. My mother guessed my thoughts, because she nudged my ribs sharply.
“Behave.” She hissed. I rolled my eyes at her command.
“I see you brought the family. My dear Lily, tell me, have you put on some weight since I saw you? Looking quite round again,” She looked at my father. “You didn’t get her pregnant, did you? Just what we need, another shame.” Her emerald green eyes shifted back to me, though I was more worried about my mother who’s hand was now clenched. “Oh, you brought her. Hello, Charlotte.”
“Good morning, Grandmother.” I forced a faulty smile and focused on the carpeting. It was ugly and reminded me of something out of a sitcom.
“Did you get this from Wal-Mart, or did you go to a Garage Sale?” I smiled at her, and she returned it, just as cruelly.
“No, actually, it’s from Laos, and that was paid for with your inheritance, my lovely granddaughter.”
The room grew icily cold. My mother winked at me, in both an encouragement and a warning. My dad looked around.
“I better start looking at those books, Mom. Lily, could you take care of some laundry. Charlotte will sit here with Mom.” He cleared his throat and headed out for the study my grandfather practically lived in. My mom also left, and then it was just her and I. Silent minutes passed, before my grandmother shifted in her chair and motioned to the not as comfortable looking stool.
“Sit down, girl.”
I did so, and gazed at the ashy fireplace.
“Your father tells me that you’ve been hanging around a boy lately.”
“Oh.” Thanks, Dad.
“He also tells me this boy is kind of... rough looking.”
I suppressed a laugh. “Nate, rough? Right.”
“Charles also tells me that there is a nicer boy who is pining for you.”
I looked at her, already knowing who she was referring to. “Ben.”
“Yes, that’s the one. Well-to-do, athletic, handsome.”
“And stubborn. And rude, and annoying, and about a hundred kinds of bad.” I snorted and shook my hair from my face.
“He’s rich though.”
“That why you married Grandpa? Because he was loaded and could buy you stupid jewelry and furniture and clothes?”
My grandmother grew silent and fiddled with the thin chain around her neck. “No. Quite the contrary.”
“See, this is why I say money and looks don’t matter. It’s what’s inside. Right?” She seemed lost in thought for a moment, but came back to reality.
“Nnn? I’m not discussing this any further. You are much too young for this conversation.” Looking away from me, she stared out at the garden. The sunlight made her skin very pale, thin white hair pulled back in bobby pins. The wrinkles of her face matched the rest of her, liver spots and all. Her eyes stayed focus on the roses in the garden, even as I stood and walked to the couch, not just to be farther away from her, but so I could solitaire. She didn’t say another word.
“Did you have fun with you grandmother today, Charlie?” My father asked as we drove back home.
“Yeah, loads.” I really, liked sitting with a crabby old windbag playing cards by myself, hearing her tell me what a failure I was.
“Good, you’ll be fine by yourself with her next weekend, right?”
“What? No! That was not part of the deal!”
“Deal? Who said anything about a deal? I’m the parent, and I’ll make any decisions, with or without deals, that I want to. You’re coming here every Saturday that I say you are.”
“Mom!”
“Charlotte, listen to your father.”
Typical. “But, I don’t want to!”
“Don’t whine! We’ll discuss this later.”
I stuttered out protests, but my dad just turned up the radio and tuned me out. Eventually, I sat back in my seat and pouted, crossed arms and all.
“Sixteen going on six.” My father teased me. I didn’t even smile. He frowned and sighed heavily. How could I laugh at even the funniest joke right now? I was facing a never-ending prison sentence, twelve hours on the best day of the week, with the meanest warden alive.
At school on Monday, Nathaniel got called down to the principal’s office, for not parking his car in the right place. (“The vice principal has a better parking place than the principal, you’d think he’d be happy about me knocking him out of the spot for a day.” I remembered him saying as he walked away.) I was alone at my locker when Benjamin came up to me and sang,
“Over the river and through the woods, little Charlotte goes.”
“Because of the parasite, who risks his very life, standing within my striking range.” I turned to face him and his ever-so-smug smile.
“That didn’t rhyme.”
“Who needs to rhyme when they’re about to commit a crime?” I kicked his right knee as hard as possible, the pain doubled because of my combat boots.
“That did.”
“Stand up, Ben, so I can finish pulverizing you.”
“Now, now. I had nothing to do with your punishment. I just like causing problems.” He smiled and I kicked him in his other knee.
“I don’t care, I still need somebody to slaughter.”
He sighed, standing up carefully. “Charlotte, really, be reasonable. It’s not my fault.” He looked at my face, set in a death glare. “Okay, maybe it is kind of my fault, but I even explained that you two were just friends.”
“My dad thinks otherwise.” I folded my arms, gearing for a right hook.
“If you’re going to start throwing punches, I’m going to leave. But, first of all, I just wanted to let you know, I have a proposition to help lift the punishment quicker. But, I really want to keep my nose unbroken, so, goodbye.” Benjamin turned and began to leave.
“Hang on. I’ll listen to it.”
He smiled and walked back to me.
“I knew you’d hear me out. You’re only grounded because your dad thinks you and Nathaniel are together. However, if you were clearly with someone else, your punishment would come to a quicker end. Catch my drift?”
I did and was tempted to laugh right in his face.
“You’re saying I should go out with you?”
“Well, I like you, you like me, we could make it work.”
I turned to go. “Oh, please, I like you? What have you been smoking?”
He grabbed my wrist, making me stop and face him. “You know it’s true. Come on, just say yes.”
“If I ever liked an egomaniac, I’ll remember to give you a call.” I tried to tug my wrist free.
“Seriously, Charlotte. Think about it.”
“Fine, I will. But, this one is for the picture.” I dealt him a right hook and stormed off down the hallway. Nathaniel stood there, a look of total awe on his face.
“Do I want to know what that was about?”
“No, but I’ll tell you in class.”
“He asked you out!”
“Yes, Nate, we already discussed that. Now stop laughing.” I took a long swig of my Sobe.
“Why don’t you?”
“Why don’t I what?”
Nathaniel repositioned himself to sit next to me on the bench. I looked away, figuring what he meant was stupid, and in turn, pointless.
“Say yes. Date him.”
“You’re an idiot.” I rested my head on the table top, letting him ramble his ‘brilliant’ idea.
“No, just date him until your death sentence is annulled. Then, you can just dump him.”
“You’re supporting this stupid idea? Who’d be so disturbed as to even like me?” I looked at him, a bitter, incredulous look on my face. “Except you, of course, Mr. I-like-my-best-friend-even-though-it’s-stupid.”
He chuckled. “Yes, I am stupid, I suppose, for telling you like I did. But, it’s not my fault you’re attractive.” He knew just what to say to make me flush. “I’m giving you my permission, however, to temporarily date Aeropostalezilla. Just don’t kiss him. You might get a MTD.”
“MTD?”
“Mall Transmitted Disease.”
We both laughed and I laid my head down on my arms, eyes shut.
“What?”
“I was just thinking. What if this doesn’t work? What if it works too well?”
“Charlie, I want you to know something.” I opened my eyes and looked at him. He laid his head down next to mine. “I won’t let him keep you forever.”
I smiled and laughed again. “I’ll think about it, but maybe we should go inside. I don’t want another detention for listening to you, Mr. We-still-have-five-minutes-before-class-starts.”
He laughed and stood up with me. His face grew serious and gentle though as he said,
“I’m serious.”
I was momentarily struck speechless. I cleared my throat, however, and gave him a playful smile.
“And I won’t call you surely.” I headed for the gray doors, flashing him a taunting smile. He began to run after me, so I began running, too. We burst out laughing, until Vice Principal Burns opened the doors. We began the long walk to his office, still laughing as we caught our breath.
