An Apple and a Graveyard - Chap. 7

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Chapter Seven

Caiden wasn’t much of a talker on the road, it turned out. This disappointed me. Most of the time he had headphones on, and I was unable to ask or say anything to him. Not that I had anything particularly interesting or witty to say.
He was even more beautiful in the daytime. His dark hair glinted in the sunlight, and he walked with graceful confidence. He was always gripping the edges of his backpack, or had his hands shoved into his pockets. My pockets were too small for my hands, so they hung uselessly at my sides as we walked, and for some reason I felt foolish. I had nothing to carry; and even if I offered to carry something of his I wouldn’t be able to.
But he was nice, despite his silence. Whenever we took breaks—unnecessary, but taken anyway—he would attempt to teach me how to touch or hold something.
“It may be a waste of time, but believe you will take this water container from me,” he instructed. My hand always went through. Caiden never expressed disappointment or frustration or disdain. He merely put the jug away and turned his music back on, laying back on the grass. It was times like these that I most wanted to talk to each other again. His detachment confused me. Of course, he could be put off by my obvious tender age. If I had to guess, I would say that he was about seventeen. Four years. It wasn’t that much, was it?
Part of me missed staying in hotels, and sleeping. Though not being able to dream was, at time, disconcerting, it was a way to forget. While sleeping, I was unaware of the world moving on around me, and the bare facts of my state. I didn’t like knowing that I was dead, and, most likely, always would be.
Caiden didn’t seem to be upset or resentful of his condition. I admired that about him. He was always the same: Calm, steady, and easygoing. He took death as it was, and didn’t harp about it, as I so often did privately. But then again, he had had much more time than I to grow used to the idea. Would I ever be as okay about it as he was?
We traveled together for six days before we really spoke to one another again. It was, if anything, odd. Nothing coaxed him to turn to me. Nothing appeared that would give him inspiration or desire. We were walking on a road somewhere in Nevada, and the scenery was the same as it had been for two days: hills, grass, blue sky. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then Caiden pulled off his headphones, and looked at me.
“You like Three Days Grace?” he asked me. I stared at him blankly.
“What?”
“Three Days Grace,” he said again, with ease. “Do you like them?”
I hadn’t been completely socially isolated when I was alive, and I actually did know who the band was, and I thanked the divine powers that I did. “What I’ve heard of their songs,” I answered nervously; I was afraid I would bore him and he would put the headphones back on.
“I went to one of their concerts the night I died,” he told me, as if we were discussing the weather. “The mosh pit was insane. Me and my buddy Wes had had a few drinks, and we were just as nuts as the rest of the people there. It was the stupidest thing, the way I died. Really, just the lamest way to die. Someone threw their bottle into the pit, and I was hit in the head. I guess some of the glass embedded in my skull, and I passed out. Someone else stepped—or stomped would be a better word—on my neck. Then I was gone, going through that tunnel.”
He smiled to himself, and I noticed he had a dimple in his left cheek. I didn’t know how to respond to him. I’m sorry? Hey, that’s cool?
I was shocked at what did actually pop out of my mouth. “My death was lamer,” I blurted. He looked at me, eyebrows raised.
“Oh, yeah? How’d you die?” He was still grinning.
The beginning of a smile was tugging at the corners of my own mouth. “I got hit by a bus,” I admitted, and he laughed.
“Nah, my death still holds the record for lame. I mean, there are some crazy ones out there. Some kid back in San Diego, Jesse, was crushed by a vending machine.”
“Really?” I laughed with him. He nodded, shifting his backpack. A truck thundered past us, and I jumped a little.
“I hope you’ll be able to touch things soon, Hope,” Caiden said to me, with a hint of teasing. “That way we can jump on one of the trucks or cars driving by and get to where we want to go faster.”
His words startled me. He was staying with me, even though it meant I was drastically slowing him down? He could leave anytime he wanted, and yet he walked with me?
Caiden seemed to guess my thoughts. “Hey, don’t worry about it,” he said. “I like the exercise. Besides, someone needs to save those animals you attack in the middle of the night.”
I smiled, but I was still unsure. How long until he grew tired of my company and left? I’d realized, above everything else, that being alone was the thing I feared most in my death.
Caiden smiled back, and then slid his headphones back into place.




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so far I love all of the stories you've written. No complaints here. Although I will say there is just something about By Sun, By Moon, that sets off something intense in me. It's my absolute fav, and I think you've outdone yourself. I actually wrote scenes and my first chapter to my own book about vampires, but it's not posted and probably isn't even good enough to be posted. Anyway I totally can't wait till the next chapter- keep up the good work!
If I can impact one person, just one, with my writing before I die, then I've lived a great life




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Hey KJ!!!

Well I'm back and I'm still enjoying this story because its so real and your characters are believable. I have no complaints about this chapter because I didn't see anything wrong. So as usual, I'll list the things that I did like
1. I like Caiden. He seems like a very nice guy and I think he balances Hope out.
2. Your names are really pretty.
3. Its nice to know that their relationship is growing nicely
4. The adventure is something to look forward to, and I wonder why Caiden is soo nice.

I'll keep reading KJ but it'll probably take me some time because of my mom and all the stuff thats going on. So don't ever believe that I'm not enjoying your stories because you're an amazing writer.
Angel :D :D :D
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.




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Angel and Moonlight:

Thanks a ton for reading. I'm glad you like it :) And Angel, I understand. Thanks for letting me know. Moonlight, next chapter in BSBM will be up by tomorrow.




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Oh good lord, what an excellent continuation of the story! I love your characters so much - how Caiden is so nice and gentlemanly and seems to like Hope, but still remains detached - he's a guy you wouldn't get tired of easily. Very nicely written!

When you were describing Caiden's death, he said "me and my friend Wes" instead of "My friend Wes and I," but I don't know if you did that on purpose or not.

That's all I found. Very good job!

Cheerio!
~Sarah
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
~Albert Einstein




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I absolutely loved this.

No grammatical/spelling errors, so no technical nit-picking of mine to mull over.

I agree, there is something extremely intense and hypnotizing about this.

I love the protagonists and it's beautifully controlled.

Keep Writing!

--Sarah
Had I the heavens embroider'd cloths,
I would spread the cloths under your feet.
But I being poor, have only my dreams,
So tread softly, for you tread on my life.




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KJ,

Yes, Chapter 6 was amongst By Sun, By Moon. Queer, no? But, it’s seven that counts now, and with seven we now continue (:

***

Quote:
and even if I offered to carry something of his I wouldn’t be able to.

Add “did” for emphasize? And then comma? Though yes, I admit, that’s one solution to a big comma problem that I had with this sentence.


Quote:
Of course, he could be put off by my obvious tender age.

Tender age? That doesn’t fit to well, I think. Sounds a bit silly with the background (of text) that it has.


Quote:
Four years. It wasn’t that much, was it?

Aww.


Quote:
Part of me missed staying in hotels, and sleeping.

Comma needed? Next sentence: isn’t it “at times”? (Really, really don’t know, so tell me^^)


Quote:
We were walking on a road somewhere in Nevada, and the scenery was the same as it had been for two days: hills, grass, blue sky.

Heh, used to live in Nevada…


Quote:
Nothing appeared that would give him inspiration or desire.

Awkward, I think, at least a bit. It’s not the floating syndrome, but still awkward.


Quote:
I hadn’t been completely socially isolated when I was alive, and I actually did know who the band was, and I thanked the divine powers that I did.

Lol!


Quote:
Besides, someone needs to save those animals you attack in the middle of the night.”

^^


Quote:
I smiled, but I was still unsure.

Cut the second pronoun.


Quote:
I’d realized, above everything else, that being alone was the thing I feared most in my death.

Awkward, I think. Consider rephrasing?


***

This chapter was absolutely brilliant. I actually laughed out loud a few times! But have I yet commented upon the fact that your chapters are o incredibly short? I have to. Maybe not, but I’m doing so now, and I’m complaining. Eh. One can’t have everything, I guess.

But, I love Caiden, I do, I do! He’s terrific as a character, and I like him. I liked their (Hope’s and his) interactions, and found them very amusing. I suppose talk of death shouldn’t be, but I adore the two of them together!


Cheers,
Esme




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Didn't Will, from your Because story, also have a dimple in his left cheek...? I'm guessing you have a fetish for dimples, perhaps? *smirks*
~ Mnes x



"In my contact with people I find that, as a rule, it is only the little, narrow people who live for themselves, who never read good books, who do not travel, who never open up their souls in a way to permit them to come into contact with other souls -- with the great outside world."
— Booker T. Washington, Up From Slavery