All Babies Are Blessings (2.5)

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So, this is the second half of the dream... still thinking of a title, I've narrowed it down to like five choices so I'll try to figure it out by the next time I post.

Kyle and I danced for about five songs before I needed another refill, I was already buzzed by not fully drunk. I know it's stupid, but I really needed to be drunk to dance well.

"Kyle, I'll be right back, I need another beer," I said.

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked. I considered having him walk with me, if I was seen with Kyle Solomon I would be the most popular girl in the eleventh grade, but I decided against it. Stupidest decision of my life.

"No thanks, I'm fine," I said with a smile.

I made my way back to the cooler where a familiar man was still slumped against the wall. I stopped walking when I saw him. Carl hadn't moved since I left with Kyle. I took a few deep breaths in preparation for Carl's fury then walked up to him.

"Hello, Carl," I said indifferently.

"Isabelle, I don't want you to go out with Kyle. He isn't good news."

"I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I think Kyle's a nice guy, so I'm going to do whatever I want with him, with or without your approval," I snapped.

"But see that's it," he said with a smile, holding my hand, "You think everyone is good."

"No, I don't." I yanked my hand out of his grip. And, as always when I'm drunk, I said exactly what was on my mind, even though I knew I shouldn't have. "Carl, I don't care that you like me. Keep your feelings and your hands to yourself!"

"What?" he asked, fury filling his eyes.

"Y-You heard me," I stuttered. In an instant, I wasn’t drunk anymore, I was afraid.

All of a sudden, he twisted his arm around my waist and pulled me out the door. He pulled me through the grass into the woods, ignoring all my complaints. He stopped when we were a few feet into the woods. We weren't far from the house; I could still see his face in the light. He leaned me against a tree, and stood in front of me.

"Do you want to play a game?" he asked, in an eerie voice.

"What?" I asked. I was confused; he dragged me out here because he wanted to play a game?

"Do you want to play a game, you know like the ones we used to play?"

It took me a second to understand what he was saying. Did he want to play a board game like we used to when we were kids? Twister, Monopoly, Checkers? Or did he want to delve into the realm of junior high games? Truth-or-Dare, Would You Rather, Spin the Bottle? Spin the Bottle; that leads to kissing. Then the gears in my head clicked; that game.

"No, Carl!" I screamed. He ducked down to my head and pressed his lips down onto mine. His braces cut my lip and made them bleed. I couldn't close my eyes; they stayed wide open, watching everything he did. I cried out behind his lips, but it was useless, everyone was inside, listening to the loud music. He pressed me into the bark of the tree, making it impossible to escape. My head thrashed, trying to break the kiss. The bark dislodged from the tree and fell in little pieces around my head. His hand captured my chin, and he kissed me harder.

I pulled my hands out from between our bodies and grabbed his blonde hair, ripping out two fistfuls. He left my lips for a second, and his eyes flew open. Two pale blue pools of rage. He shoved his mouth to mine again and pried my lips open. His breath filled my mouth. It smelled like tacos and bean dip. The blood from my lips filled my mouth, adding rust to the taste; I was beginning to feel faint.

I tried to scream again, but my voice was trapped, paralyzed by fear. I brought my hands between us again and pushed against the squishy skin of his stomach. This time he got angrier. He took a step back and stared at me, then brought his hands to the collar of my blouse and ripped the buttons off. His hands fiddled with everything they could reach. I screamed and he shoved his mouth to mine again. He dropped his hands to my waist and fiddled with the button on my skirt, his lips never parting from mine. I started to squirm around so he couldn't get the button undone, but he pressed closer, and succeeded. One of his legs pushed between mine, so our feet made a pattern. Mine, his, mine, his. I took advantage of this position to fight back. I thrust my knee upwards, and kicked him. He staggered back in pain and doubled over. I missed my chance to run. I stayed where I was, I couldn't move.

After a second, he rushed back to me and unzipped his pants. He pressed into me with greater force, and made me cry harder. He stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, pressing his chubby hands in places he had always dreamed of, then backed up, zipped up his pants and smiled. Then he walked away, cracking his knuckles, and laughing that breathy laugh.


Critiques would be amazing. Thanks!
~Dommy
Last edited by dommy65 on Sat Sep 20, 2008 3:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do,
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute?




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Wow, that was intense. I'm actually relieved it was just a dream (or was it?...). The beginning had me thinking it was going to be a relaxing, nice dream, then things took a turn for the more sinister! I like how Carl's eyes are described as 'two pale pools of rage'.

The one problem I have is that Carl and Kyle sound very similar-they're both one syllable, and they begin and end with the same sound. Most dream scenes I dislike-I prefer to get straight to the real story. But that's my personal taste.

I enjoyed this chapter and it makes me curious about the "real" characters.




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Thanks Jay. I didn't even notice the Carl Kyle thing so I probably will change that, you're right, they are too similar. :D I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks again!
~dommy
This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do,
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute?




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Intense, suspenseful, and enthralling, what more could you ask for? Your descriptions were really great. I felt like I was right there, and I felt her desperation to get out of the situation. The name Carl really suits him too, to me it's either the name of somebody really classy or really grimy, and he's definitely the latter ;).

xoxo,

Shannon
"The manatee has become the mento." -Tracy Jordan

"Live every week like it's shark week." -Tracy Jordan
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Its me again!

I actually liked this chapter and the dream got way more intense in this part. Though, it does seem like it really happened. I mean, she dreamed this? Wow. Some dream. Anywho, I'd like to see more description where he dragged her out of the house. Did she protest, were there eyes watching, I mean someone should have said something or looked. I know its a dream but dreams are always descriptive and you're an amazing writer, so here's your chance to get more creative. I hate Carl though. I just really don't like him. And when I don't like a character, it just means you're doing something right.

Off to the next chapter,

~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.




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Angel:

Thanks so much! All of your reviews brought a huge smile :D

~Dommy :D
This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do,
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute?




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Ew, Carl's so gross! I felt utter revulsion at what he did to Isabelle... even if it was just a dream. Great character building. Again, amazing. It moves along at a breakneck pace. Beautiful detail. Realistic dialogue. This story has it all.
"Hey look! A black shooting star!"

"That's no star...that's Fangala!"




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Wow. You put great description. I felt like I knew every thing, but then there's that one little secret you don't find out in till the next chapter=]. I can't wait to read chapter 3!! And Carl is really messed up, and I am glad Kyle helped Isabelle
--Jessie.
--Jessie




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Perfect. This was so intense, scary, exciting, enthralling - so many words could describe it.

The descriptions were all adequate and more than enough to produce powerful and vivid pieces of imagery.

Just one minor correction:

"I was already buzzed by not fully drunk"

I think you meant but instead of by right?

Anyway, this is really gripping. Good job again. I'm off to read the next few parts now.




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wow, freaky, weird, amazingly described , and all of that!!!!! man you are a good writer!! :D :D
Faerie world, a secret place
Where wing-ed things dwell
Ones from heaven, ones from hell.
Beware the consequences.
Don't you wrong them as you greet
And open all your senses.
Many rules have to be obeyed.
Break any...and in Faerie you stay



Thou call'dst me a dog before thou hadst cause. But, since I am a dog, beware my fangs.
— Shylock, The Merchant of Venice