a little help, if you will?

2 posts
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cheese9975
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 61
Sun Jul 27, 2008 3:15 am
cheese9975 says... · Sun Jul 27, 2008 3:15 am
Hey, everyone.

I'm writing a story, "Who would've thought?" and I posted the first two parts, but I really appreciate some feedback if anyone had a little extra time on their hands. I'm not very good with grammar, and I need a little assistance on the actual story. I feel like it's taking me a really long time to write, and a really long time for the story to pick up. So, if anyone could head over there and read it:

part one:
topic33532.html

part two:
topic33542.html

it would be a great help to me.

Thank you!

-Shannon
"The manatee has become the mento." -Tracy Jordan

"Live every week like it's shark week." -Tracy Jordan
^30 Rock is love
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Jamie_rocks
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 52
Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:17 pm
Jamie_rocks says... · Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:17 pm
Okay, I'll look at it.

In the future, when you need something reviewed, go to the "Will Review for Food" forum. It's in The Lounge. Just post the link to your story in anyone's topic.
Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
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2 posts


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