poetry scraps

Deep in crystal blue pools I see
A brutal-barren stillenacht
Shards of crystalline
Cold-shattered glass
Scattered in sharp relief
Across a starless sky

Psychedelic, heartbreaking hues
Blend into each other
Whipping into a whirlwind of lovely pain
As reality slips away

Silent night of broken hopes and slowing pulses
Stretched beneath the starry sky
Sleep in heavenly peace as we come to rest
Our fragmented heart, brains, and immortal souls
A pile of embers burning out to ash.

Sipping in the endless giving beauty of twin pools of darkness,
I can’t stop and I can’t think
And I can’t swallow past the lump in my throat.
I open my mouth to pour forth a shower of stars.



any commentary or critique is appreciated!

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How fabulous. I love scraps, as it were. Sorry if this review feels like spare bits. It goes with your pretty poem.

the first bit reminded me of crystal night....gosh, my german is not up to par kristelnacht? no that's wrong....you know what I mean though. With the glass imagery and broken blue bits. but then you threw the glass up into a starless sky....you play with stars a lot in this poem, don't you?

I love that you fragmented a brain, since brains are squishy and you can't, persay, "fragment" them in the conventional way. It gives the image of solidifying a brain to the point of dried clay, and then breaking it on a concrete sidewalk. Fragments!

I love the last two lines; glorified vomit was never less conventional or pretty-sounding!

you talk about "lovely pain" and my first thought is MASOCHIST! Which is probably not what you meant....sticking it with the shagadelic setting makes me think you're talking more about bittersweetness, or love.


ack, I guess I don't have much to say. I guess the above is what the poem made me *feel,* and when it comes to poetry, it's hard to offer criticism. The flow was more than pleasant. It was easy to read, and uncomplicated. I enjoyed this.