Darwinism

But see, you don't need rhyming stanzas to write a piece of poetry, so get that out of your heads, all of you who continue doing it!

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I never believed in you,
God, but tell me
it's not true. Please,
tell me failing grades
are just illusions, allusions
to stalkers of old cornerstones
who searched for their meanings;
tell me the non-lethal letters
dating back to days of adolescence
haven't turned feral on me.
(the grim, gaping mouths of the F's
grew fangs while I wasn't looking)

Though I don't fit
in with my own kind, my own kin,
with their red eyes,
sour breath and grinning mandibles,
I've fallen to a different pit than theirs,
an enemy territory
with science on its side.

(Figures eclipse the sun,
with eyes protected by glass,
and their “Hocus Pocus Prozac!”
Blasphemy. I growl,)

"I am not depressed!
Do not throw me in your cage;
do not throw me your pills like peanuts.
I know your game."

There's only war,
within and without the animal kingdom.
Maybe if I'm lucky, the survivors
will be harmless and herbivorous,
with tastes for weed and meager weeds,
because God knows I never stood a chance.

I like this poem. Though I'm not a fan of the theory of evolution. I can go on and on about the inconsistencies of the theory, but I'm not going to torture you like that. Lol.



I was astonished by the despair you poured into this poem. I know I get really angry when I get a grade I don't like when I knew I worked harder than the few seconds it took for that teacher to come to a conclusion and give me a "C" or a "D".



Keep writing. This poem looks like it was written from the standpoint of a frustrated teenager with falling grades. An interesting subject.



See ya.

I liked it.

It seemed like parts of this poem weren't unified. I didn't grasp the entire concept of the poem, I did get each little segment, but, to me,together they made no sense and trust me I read this poem several times just to see if I could bridge the gap. I can't say I like the entire concept, because I don't know it. I couldn't find it in your poem.

It also seemed contradictory. First you call to God saying "I never believed in you" and then you call out "Blasphemy." The threading is fun to read, but the problem is it's JUST threading, I don't see the big picture. It needs to be pieced together in a way where the reader can understand where you are coming from. I get why you used the title at least and I get that the whole evolution bit screwed you over in the assignment, but then you go from there to not fitting in, which I can also understand, but then "red eyes" "sour breath" and "mandibles" which I can only see is an allusion to humans sharing common ancestors with monkeys who have this characteristic? Then you move to "figures eclipsing the sun" which I can only think of as a doctors office, or something, in which they diagnose you as depressed and need Prozac and you are yelling "blasphemy" because you think everything can not be explained by science. And then the last stanza throws me for a loop with herbivores and you go from this one Darwinism concept to science in general, to survival of the fittest concept and then to you hoping that in the end, in regards to whoever wins, you hope its a type of people who are more tolerating of your views. Explaining it all like that, its apparent that what you wrote is a beautiful, brilliant, piece, but I used transitions and bridges in my explanation and you didn't in your poem, which is the problem there. One concept to another, and no unifying theme.

But I've already written too much.

Ciao!