DOGs of WAR

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It's a slow start but don't give up on it, give it a chance, ive got the whole story planned out this is just building up to it. enjoy.


DOGs of WAR

Chapter One












I scanned the area, it looked like some sort of lab, maybe a testing area. I wasn’t alone, people roughly the same age as myself were suspended eyes closed and lifeless in what seemed like giant test tubes. They had tubes attached to them, like some sort of life support machine. The sight was horrific, naked human beings, in test tubes, being tested like animals. What sick person would do such a thing, I stared down, and realised that I too, was a lab rat, had they already experimented with me, or was this just the first phase of their experiment. Who ever they were?

Hours passed. Still no sign of anyone, just me awake and alone with the others. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. Don’t even know who I am, who my family were, who these people were. The world felt new to me, I felt like I should know something, something that could help me remember. But there was something that I was naturally born with, my instincts. And I knew instinctively that I was in danger, that this wasn’t meant for the greater good, that this whole thing was wrong. I had to get out of here, but how, I was defenseless, alone and not to mention I had tubes sticking in me, and imprisoned in glass test-tube which really didn’t help the situation. Glass, immediately I knew that it would smash with force. It was worth a try, so I began. I clenched my fists and pounded against the glass again and again. It was useless, not a scratch on it. I heard a noise, but it was brief, probably half a second, but it was definitely a sound. I was certain, my instincts guiding me. Minutes passed and my hopes began to fade, was their any chance of me getting out of here? And then I heard a voice, not just one but two voices, speaking to each other, growing louder by the second. I tensed my self, readying myself to face the demon that created all this, this experiment.


A man in a white lab jacket strolled into the room, writing furiously on a notepad, glancing occasionally at his experiments. His eyes however avoided me, ever he hadn’t seen me, or he already knew I was awake. He walked over to a technical machine and began pressing buttons madly, either he knew what he was doing or just pressing at random to see what would happen. Too my disappointment, nothing happened. The other man that had walked in with him was dressed in a suit and was studying the experiments carefully. Why he was dressed up, was beyond me.

The man in the lab coat stopped pressing buttons and made his way to his friend. They both stopped in front of a tough looking teenager, eyeing him up and down curiously.

“What’s so special about this one, heard he was one of those trouble makers.” Asked the man in the suit, a slight Irish tone to his voice.

“Ah well, this one has been the successful in the experiment and the outcome is truly, truly tremendous. Unbelievable it is. I w-“

“Cut to the chase, ain’t got all day.”

“Yes well, this boy. This boy well he er, um, er, I genetically mixed his blood with the DNA of a wolf. And well erm, the outcome is well of course, remarkable. His body has been showing some really fascinating reactions, it seems as if he has adapted to the instincts of those of a wolf, developing Fangs rather than teeth, capable of ripping almost anything to utter shreds, don’t wanna get in the way of them.”

“So what you’re saying is that what we have got here is a Werewolf” laughed the business man.

“This is not a laughing matter, what we have here will change history. And anyway I wouldn’t exactly go as far as Werewolves, mythology has said that Werewolves only change into monsters at first sight of moonlight, well here, is not the case. It is like a mood swing except it is most definitely controllable, this boy will not become a mindless killing machine, he will become an intelligent hunter, and perhaps this is the start of a new species.”

“This is madness you can’t possibly think you can control this thing, remarkable as it is, it has to be killed, it cannot have the chance to roam the world. Millions would die. This is not negotiable, I want a young boy’s corpse infront of my eyes by tomorrow morning, If not then prepare to face the consequences of my actions.

“Bu-“

“Good by professor.”

And with that the man in the suit left the lab in a hurry, not once looking back. I wondered if I was invisible to the professor, he glanced at me as if right through me and then turned his gaze back to the boy, Werewolf. I too found it hard to believe, but here anything seemed possible, I was just going to have to wait and see the outcome.

The man disappeared for a while and then returned with a stretcher placing out infront of the boy. Was he really going to kill him, I felt as if I should close my eyes but I had to see the outcome and soon I became glued to the horror that was about to take place. The man pressed some buttons and not a moment later the test tube rose up and the boy was left hanging by the tubes. The man detached them and shortly the boy was laying on the stretcher his body as alive as a dead person’s. But the horror didn’t stop their, the professor paced across the room to a draw and rummaged through it, he picked up a syringe that was labeled ‘toxic’ and returned to the boy that was about to be murdered. Or was he? Maybe someone might come along and stop the crime before it was committed, Werewolf or not, murder is murder. The professor stared at the boy.

“I’m sorry” he said, an unmistakable sadness in his voice.

The boy’s eyes opened.

“Too late for that.” Whispered the boy, he brought his hand up swiftly and slit the mans neck open, the professor’s limp and dead body slide to the ground splashing in a pool of his only blood, staining the clean white floor. I gagged at the sickly sight trying to close my eyes, but I couldn’t. And then the boy, Werewolf turned his gaze to me.




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Hey, Woodleyz Writtingz!

Ooh, cool story--you can definitely make something really creepy and exciting out of this. The premise is really interesting, too, and I'm really intrigued to know the who, what, and why of this whole situation, especially the werewolf. That's kind of a strange experiment--why? Goodness, that's neat. ^_^

The main thing that I want to see more from you in this story is description--and not visual description. You need more of the other senses, like feeling, smell, and spatial (how things are set up). You can put these things in at the beginning of a section/when a new event occurs, and it helps your readers envision exactly what's going on.

A few questions to guide you:

- Where is your main character in relation to the others?

- What temperature is it?

- Is it dank, or dry?

- Is it dark? Light?

- What else can your main character see? Can he see well?

The thing to remember is that you're not describing a photograph, you're describing a world. Work with all of the senses and it will make your writing pop out to people--which is always a good thing.

__

Thanks for the read! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or want me to take a look at the next part. ^_^ One thing to note: we have a 2:1 critique policy. What does that mean? Basically, for every story you post, we ask that you review two things. That way, everyone gets a chance to be reviewed. It also helps get your name out there, so you get more critiques in return! It's a win-win situation, and helps you improve your writing as well.
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin




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this seems really good and might turn out quite gory- wicked. but try putting more full stops in rather than commas, or it might get too long and people will stop reading. but it seems an interesting theme, and if it was on a shelf with a catchy cover, i'd be one of the first to read it!

- Arekkusu
I dont help people on work. Then, if it sucks, i don't get blamed. Haha people. Haha



I don't do time.
— Liberty