Meet Greg, the night before "Kidnapped" begins. This is for my class, so please let me know if I pulled it off (requirements for the peice are at the bottom) and how I can improve.
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The blue eyes blonde stared sullenly out the car window, glaring at his reflection—or rather the likeness of his brother he saw looking back at him. Even physically he was a shadow of his older brother; he had the same short curls, the same soft chin, the same stupid nose—the nose his brother rubbed when he was acting superior. Already Greg could hear his brother’s words replaying in his mind: “You’re a selfish brat, Gregory. Grow up! Everyone is tired of this rotten attitude of yours”.
He flinched, repulsed by the very memory of how his brother pronounced his name. Gregory. No one except his family called him that. It was no surprise; the fact they used it had driven him to make sure no one else did. He hated them.
“So… we going to the party?” Benny asked. Greg nodded, smiling half-heartedly at his best friend. Greg didn’t always like the party crowd; but the sense of satisfaction that accompanied one look at his parent’s sour and disapproving faces when he came home late time and time again was one he lived for.
Even before Benny’s old Chrysler pulled up into the driveway the hum of the party music penetrated the vehicle, making Greg’s skin tingle. The sensation was similar to the one he got when he attended an orchestral performance—no. He didn’t do that anymore. The orchestra was his brother’s ‘thing’. Greg’s thing was rock. This was like a rock concert. Except the bass was much too loud and drowned out the melody. Oh well, he didn’t much like the song anyways.
“Looks like Julien and Marcus are already here,” Benny observed as he got out. He gave Greg a moment to collect himself—Benny understood about Greg and his brother. A minute later Greg got out as well, grinning in anticipation.
“C’mon!” Greg shouted to be heard over the hum of the music. “Let’s go see whose here!”
The party was pumping. Dozens of hot, sweat slick bodies pushed against each other as they all tried to fit onto the first floor of the house. The air smelled of sweat, smoke and alcohol. Greg led the way, weaving his way through the crowd until he found a slightly tipsy Julien failing miserably at flirting with a girl. When Julien saw him he waved his bottle of beer. Greg grinned in response.
“Greg! You should try some of this stuff. It’s good!” Julien teased, since Greg had always refused drink in the past. Greg, in that instant, was overcome by a wave of suppressed spite towards his family. His brother would never get drunk.
“Sure! Where can I get one?”
Greg found the crate of beer without trouble, as a number of boys were warmly—no doubt due to the fact they were drunk—handing them out to anyone who passed by. Greg accepted one, and when a second was thrust his way he decided it take it as well.
On his way to find Benny a girl greeted him warmly, but was disappointed when Greg made a quick escape. Crazy friends and loud parties he could handle, but girls were creatures he really couldn’t understand.
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Requirements for this assignment:
• The character sketch shold be approximately 500 words.
• Introduce your reader to one main character, although others may be mentioned or included.
• Include at least one sentence of physical description.
• Make the detail in the piece revealing and useful.
• Your submission may include action, and it may allude to plot, but you should not try and tell a whole story in 500 words. Think of it as an excerpt from a bigger piece and concentrate on introducing the reader to a new character.
• Avoid clichés and stereotypes in selecting and describing the character.
