Two Showing Paragraphs for Writer's Craft!

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^_^ I'm taking Writer's Craft this summer! *happy dance* Anyways, here's two showing paragraphs I had to write. Let me know if they do a good job of showing the sentence that comes before them.

She had a way of making those around her feel inferior.

Amy stalked across the cafeteria, head held high and hips swinging confidently. The entire room held it’s breath, waiting. She stopped in front of a table, not even glancing to see who sat there, and snapped her fingers. Like disturbed insects the inhabitants of the table scuttled away; migrating to one of the many free tables Amy had walked past on her way. She sat down, bright green eyes scanning the room. Finally, she pointed to one of the boys across the room and jerked her thumb. He stood hesitantly, and then hurried to get her lunch. Within minutes he was placing a tray of food in front of her—one he’d had to pay for out of him own pockets. Amy sniffed.
“Ew,” she said to her friend Gabby, her nose crinkling. “It suddenly smells like loser over here.” The two girls broke out into harsh laughter as the boy slouched away, burning with shame.

He didn’t like people to know it, but he was very kind and sensitive.

Greg sat with his head on his desk, staring blankly out the window. Something hit him in the temple. He sat up, picking up the offending piece of paper and looked for the culprit. A giggle across the room caught his attention and Emily, the prettiest girl he knew, smiled tentatively, indicating he should read the paper. Greg immediately felt light headed as heat crept towards his face. Any second his fingers would start to shake and give him away. He quickly turned away, pretending he wasn’t interested. But when Emily turned back to the board, disappointed, he quickly snuck the note into his pocket so he could read it later.
I'm like that song stuck in your head; I come and I go, but never truly dissapear.

And apparently I also write a blog.




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Welcome back Valor!

The entire room held it's breath, waiting.


Should be "its."

Like disturbed insects the inhabitants of the table drifted away;


I think that's supposed to be a comma.

Overall, you did a good job.
"The one thing you can't trade for your heart's desire is your heart."
Miles Vorkosigan

"You can be an author if you learn to paint pictures with words."
Brian Jacques



GET YER EYES AWAY FROM MY EYE SOCKETS >.>
— herbalhour