strange and funny rap

my people all think im cool
so no need to act like a fool

i know how to make the party form
and look over there here comes the swarm

there's a lot of me to go around
so need to act like a flee

i know how to make things fun
im not like some old nun

im the doctor for what ever you need
want some coke, heres some weed

im he master that knows how to make the parting go faster

i can act wild like a slippery bar of soap
i aint calm like no poap

drinks on me
so we can all chill and be free

*end*

its my first rap so if theres any one you can help me out there i wold apprentice it

This is a pretty funny rap =] very cliche but I guess that's the point righ? Quite a lot of mistakes though, you need to check your writing before you post it, really. There are also a lot of truly horrible rhymes in here, I know the point of the rap is that it rhymes but maybe if you chose some more original words it would be easier to rhyme without seeming forced. (Unless that was your intention, in which case disregard.

Spelling/punctuation ->

dacoozed wrote:my people all think im cool
so no need to act like a fool

My people all think I'm cool
so no need to act like a fool.

dacoozed wrote:i know how to make the party form
and look over there here comes the swarm

I know how to make the party form
and look over there, here comes the swarm.

dacoozed wrote:there's a lot of me to go around
so need to act like a flee

There's a lot of me to go around
so no need to act like a flea.

(act like a flea?)

dacoozed wrote:i know how to make things fun
im not like some old nun

I know how to make things fun
I'm not like some old nun.

dacoozed wrote:im the doctor for what ever you need
want some coke, heres some weed

I'm the doctor for what ever you need
want some coke, here's some weed.

dacoozed wrote:im he master that knows how to make the parting go faster

I'm the master that knows how to make the party go faster.

dacoozed wrote:i can act wild like a slippery bar of soap
i aint calm like no poap

I can act wild like a slippery bar of soap
I ain't calm like no Pope.

dacoozed wrote:drinks on me
so we can all chill and be free

Drinks on me
so we can all chill and be free.

haha, made me smile. A little childish though.


when you mention "I know how to make things fun"
you should reply something like "I sexually satisfy the nun"

just to give yourself that "UMPH" in imagery
Make it seem like you're the devils tongue and persuasion is your art.

You as well should end "I can act wild like a slippery bar of soap"
with "For what I've done, I need all your forgiveness Mr. Pope"


and last off, if drinks are on you, I'll be there.

i guess i should work on my punctuation and my rhyming skills but hey its my 1st rap and I'm learning from my mistakes

dacoozed wrote:i guess i should work on my punctuation and my rhyming skills but hey its my 1st rap and I'm learning from my mistakes

=] that's the right attitude! keep trying you'll improve each time xx