As the Seasons Change

As I watch the seasons change,
I see the fall approaching
Its autumn fingers reaching,
For the nearest maple tree.

As I watch the seasons change,
Winter's gusts and winds and snows
Begin to come like ocean's tide;
Swirling, swirling constantly.

As I watch the seasons change,
Spring's soft flow of life so new,
The flowers bloom, the trees turn green
And brooks flow endlessly

As I watch the seasons change,
Summer's heat is now unleashed;
Frogs bathe lazily in the sun
While wispy clouds float by.

As I watch the seasons change,
The young grow old, the years go by
And suddenly, the kids all grow up,
As the seasons change.

I really liked this, but there was one thing that threw me off.

As I watch the seasons change,
Winter's gusts and winds and snows
Begin to come like ocean's tide;
Swirling, swirling endlessly.

As I watch the seasons change,
Spring's soft flow of life so new,
The flowers bloom, the trees turn green
And brooks flow endlessly

I don't like way you repeated the word endlessly, it just doesn't sound right to me. Try replacing the one for the brooks with some thing different. [i.e. And the brooks flow frequently; And the brooks flow bountifully] Good luck with your poetry.

~CMH~

I agree with CMH about the repeated "endlessly" -- it's a bit jarring. Also, I kind of felt this would be better set to music than as a poem. It doesn't seem to have much purpose or depth, and the repetition of the theme seems more suited to a musical refrain than a poetic one. Perhaps next time you could concentrate on a more extended image - one per stanza leaves us with little to contemplate or dwell on - and a bit more use of literary tools (e.g. metaphors and similes). Congrats on getting it published, though!

Hmmm. . . pretty. I liked it. But I have to say, I got a little too carried up in the rhythm. I think that in a poem of this nature you mght want to try with free verse, but to get a sense of how itfeels with that continuity instead of this speedy little rhythm.

Also, you said "frogs go 'plop'" and that really upset me. It seemed a little juvenile. I understand that it's tough to find things that work in the rhythm, but that line was very young compared to the rest of the poem.

God work though!