Just a little to the left

Will be in my book: HEL~VEN

I want to see if it's emotional enough to really make people think.



Time seems to be so prescious now that it's going by so fast
Midnight lurks ever closer, it seems we can only speak of the past.
Because this future's not so bright.
This future's not in sight.
It's clouded by my death
You're scared but take a deep breath.
Baby look at me.
Baby I'll always be...

This is the way life goes sometimes. (We will live our lives with smiles)
This is the way that we say goodbye. (We will smile)
We won't say it all

Today our tears fall down.
Tommorow we'll find the strength to smile somehow
You'll look back on those moments
We admit those moments were the best.
If you ever grow lonely just remember we didn't lose a thing
you'll find me time and time again.
Just a little to the left.

I still wish I could have held the most precious life,
in my arms, if only for one night.
And I wonder; will she have your smile?
And I wonder; who’ll walk her down the aisle?
I wonder if she knows that I’m always watching.
I wonder if she’ll look among the stars for me.
And stay awake all night on the window sill.
Baby, I always will…

This is the way we sing some songs. (We will sing our melodies with smiles)
This is the way we mourn for things we lost. (We will smile)
We won't mourn at all

Today our tears fall down.
Tommorow we'll find the strength to smile somehow
I'll watch you live your life every day.
You'll look back on those moments
We admit those moments were the best.
If you ever grow lonely just remember we didn't lose a thing
you'll find me time and time again.
Just a little to the left.

I'll always be watching you my daughter, as you live your life
I'll always be there for you my love, as you live your life
And you won’t walk alone.
And you won’t be on your own.
I'll always be here.
I always will be watching
After hours of wondering where I went
This organ carries more than blood
(From the middle, Just a little)
To the left

Our tears fall down today
But we'll smile soon, everything'll be O.K
Cherish the memories these photos bring
We’ll always mourn, we’ll always cry
But we haven't lost a thing
In the end, I’m still with you, shedding the same tears.
One day, joy will take place of all our fears.
You’ll find me time and time again.
Just a little to the left...

Just a little to the left.

Hello! I'd just like to say before I begin, I think this sng is pretty good as it is, but as you'll find out in my critique, it could be even better. Wen this is really done, I reckon it'll be a really beautiul piece.

Please don’t look at me with those sad eyes.
Baby, believe that I hate to see you cry. I would get rid of 'believe that' and make it 'you know'.
If you just give me a reason. This line is a bit random. It doesn't seem to belong to the previous line, nor the next. I would get rid of it.
Baby, believe these things don’t change by the season.
I admit that I’m so scared.
And you tell me that it’s not fair, to have to let go of me.
Baby, I’ll always be… I had some trouble really fitting a tune to this bit. Some of the lins are very lon, and I think you should make them shorter.

This is the way life goes sometimes.
This is the way that we say goodbye. These two lines are beautiful, and you've done a really good job.
If only for now, if only just for now… This line, however, I don't get. I don't see why you have it here, it doesn't seem to do anything, it's just here.

This is the way our tears fall down.
And yet we still smile somehow I really liked these two lines. Very well done.
Was this worth it?
We admit we wouldn’t change a thing.
And we never forget the ones we love
As I head for final destination as I lay here to rest I would shorten this bit. It doesn't flow as well as the rest does, and I think that's because of the length.
Know that I never left you, I’m still here
Just a little to the left. I don't really get 'just a little to the left'. When you use it later it makes sense, bu not here. I would get rid of it.

I still wish I could have held the most precious life,
in my arms, if only for one night. I can almost hear this and it's beautiful. I love these two lines.
And I wonder; will she have your smile? ot so keen on this line, but it's okay
And I wonder; who’ll walk her down the aisle? This line is perfect, and so moving. Perfect place to put it.
I wonder if she knows that I’m always watching.
I wonder if she’ll look among the stars for me.
And stay awake all night on the window sill.
Baby, I always will… I think this verse is your strongest, and you've done a really good job of it. I can almost hear it, an I would love to see it in a music video.

And to the daughter I never got to know.
Know that I never left you alone.
I’ve been with you from the start.
Just place a hand to your chest.
Just a little to the left. More beautiful lines. I think your song is at it's best when you're talking about the child. Although I didn't realise at first, but these last two lines area bit... funn, and could be interpreted wrong. I think if you changed them a little it'd be fine.




Overall, this is a beautiful song and you've done a realy good job with most of it. I'd change things in some places, but most of it was perfect. Do you havea recording, because I'd love to hear it. Also, is this your first song? I'd love to look at some more.

Good job!

Wow, thats really good - I don't really like critiquing lyrics without any music to accompany them, but I can really tell that it is gonna be something pretty special.
Its so heartfelt, the best bit was:
'Just place a hand to your chest.
Just a little to the left.'
I can't really find anything bad to say, apart from some small grammatical errors pointed out by the last review; but honestly, this is pretty damn good.
Keep writing,
~sday