colossal

2 posts
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Points 1040
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*smiles in a kind of scared way* this is one of my cheesy rhyming poems that just came to me, so...try not to be incredibly harsh.

The sky is falling and I can’t hold on much longer
My fingers are slipping and they aren’t getting any stronger
trying to find a hand-hold, slipping and sweaty, dripping wet
But this broken piece of rock is all I’m going to get
rain drops fall through broken pieces of sky,
that slip into my wide green eyes
is this making any sense, do you feel my pain
the air is cold, in the boiling hot rain
these thoughts are piecing together, I want to let them go
staring hazily through the falling snow
I know this isn’t right, it barely even rhymes
but I need to let this go,
make it feel right this time.
Close your eyes and feel this with me,
it’s a whirlwind, a tornado,
a vortex in the sea.
I don’t understand where all of this comes from
the rocky precipice I cling to makes my fingers numb
this must be the end of the world, it just has to be
I’m falling slipping, screaming, into the crimson sea
my wavy hair all is around, like soft brown seaweed
I’m crying, dying, rasping, letting loose my final creed
this can’t be right, it isn’t, my thoughts are hazy now
I want to clasp onto you, I just don’t know how
gasping, drowning now, I feel myself suffocate
my eyes are opaque, come quickly, before it is too late
and then I hear your voice, I wish that I could scream,
I hit the sandy ocean floor, this all feels like a dream
are you coming for me, or am I going to die
at the bottom of the sea, my love, this is where I lie




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Gender Female
Points 23425
Reviews 566
Well, it started off sounding rather cliché, a little forced rhyming, but it got better as it went on. The end was much better, good imagery, fast paced. Not bad.
Matt.



fun fact i hear my evil twin once wrote a story about a hacker who used the name fyshi33k bc there are 33k-ish species of fish and she liked phishing so fyshi-33k made sense but then she got super embarrassed when someone forced her to explain
— VyperShadow