Shiane:
I couldn’t help but stumble through the door. I had already had something to drink on the way over. Crazy party nights, why did most people think they were never ending fun? Whoever thought that was going to have some hell of a wake up call one day. Sophie and I used the free flowing alcohol at parties for the same reasons, to just forget all our worries and anything that wasn’t worth remembering. Drowning away feelings was like a hobby in a way, and it seemed as if the most effective way was around peers.
The all too convenient parties, (strongly advertised by Trent), were insanely frequent. Speaking of Trent, he and Jake were following me in through the door. They were laughing at some meaningless guy talk that I would most likely wouldn’t get, or care about anyways. Then I noticed how Trent was swinging his key chain around, and around, and around his index finger. He was smiling his wild smile. When I finally noticed that I was staring I jerked my head away toward other party-goer hotties. I often forget the difference between people watching and staring, I just have got to work on that.
The thought of me already looking at him without any drugs yet kind of scared me, though I’m not exactly sure why, its probably a good reason. Anyways, getting back to the magical powers of drugs, pills are an easy high, or whatever affect they are supposed to conjure. With all the concerns of my well being melting away I remembered what I was supposed to meet my ‘easy high’ supplier for the night. I’ve never taken a pill within eight hours of drinking before, so I wonder if this will bring any new adventures my way. I just hope I don’t say anything stupid though, but at least there was very minimal small talk, at parties its people dancing and grinding all around you and the occasional breaking of glass or someone yelling as they jump off of anything high off the ground.
Even if my dignity took a little trip no one would probably even remember. But if there was some no fun crasher with an added lameness of being sober nobody would listen to them outside of their unknown group of friends. As I have found out, the party scene was just one big joke everyone shared that was involved in it. Everything that was said and done was seemingly just added to the gossip, true or not, it made good business. If you could sell rumors in schools then you could make billions, no trillions, and you could have five mansions, a Ferrari, and the hottest model you could find to work for you. And if an outsider tried to fit in that obviously didn’t, was either ignored like a pestering fly, or yelled at, called a liar, and got slapped in the face by a status check.
Before all this lovely mayhem though, I used to try and make it with the neighborhood stoners. Tough luck I had, they would take one look at you and ask you who you were again because they forgot. At the actual organized parties with real classy stoners they had enough courtesy to remember your name. With these people ultimately it didn’t matter what I didn’t have, because they could give it to me. The best part was, they were already starting to. Only these measly five weekends in at this all new school with all new teachers, classes, and most importantly students with friend potential. All of it being so different for me, everyone seemed like an actual individual, not a part of something greater. Before so many people had been related in so many different, gross, ways. With so many Similar, or same last names, like their families never moved from the same neighborhood. There were so many girl groups that seemed just like a bunch of cults, intent on murdering the social outlets of outsiders. Just a bunch of vicious girls looking for a moving target, so they can stab it in the heart, like the evil witches they are.
The basic rule of survival was if you see someone scary, go run over and ask to be their best friend, if they rejected you the smart thing to do would be to run. The more family that these scary ones could produce the better. They could be protection, or part of your side of the army in the war that was the nonacademic part of learning. But there was always that little group of kids that seemed like they had no voice because you barely even notice them, so the survival rule doesn’t need to apply to them. Nobody even knew anything but barely their name about them outside the group of people that resembled each others’ personalities in so many ways.
Just even talking about their lame nothingness of a lifestyle makes me want to fall over and snore. Whenever I think about if I could go back and relive life like the no ones that nobody pays attention to makes me think I would have died of boredom. I mean its just lame to go around living your teen years, no matter how fresh they are, like you were still in the third grade. Parties and drinking by yourself are both a much better alternative. There was even a close tie between boy drama and being nobody, but you have to admit is at least a bit more exciting.
Drinking and thinking, even though it’s a rhyming combination, are not really that good in action. Especially when you’re someone out for a good time. To be honest have you ever heard of someone putting the two together, without it seeming a bit weird? With the exception of geeks, who has tried thinking of logical issues while trying to have fun, like with an example of a math competition or spelling bee? I, Shiane the non geek, am no math geek obviously. Ever since the middle of seventh grade I’ve been lost in the translation of triple the alphabet mixed in with numbers higher than I would ever think of counting. I don’t exactly try that hard either because I know I will never have to use this in real life. If there ever was a situation like that, you can be sure that I won’t be in it. I would hate my own guts if I had to have a calculator for a brain every day.
The only thing that I’ve ever been good at that seemed to require that golden minimal thought was poetry. All other types of writing just didn’t seem to click. My old friends were all gifted with the imagination to make up short stories that made me green with envy. They were such horrible writers at times, and I was worse to the point that I couldn’t even get an idea down on paper. Sports were another story. Even if I felt like we had enough money for them, I still wouldn’t do them. They usually end up giving you some awkward muscles and take up your social time. I don’t need sports to lose weight anyways, just letting up on food a little bit and chewing gum was fine, and sometimes the extreme of throwing it all back didn’t hurt either. With body issues they seem to all float away with the receding smoke. Anyone who tried to make their friends make me feel bad could go eat dirt. But with all this mindless luxury came the munchies part, which was so hard to ignore, and painfully had to be, or it would all be for nothing.
As I yawned, it seemed to tug my mind back into reality. Rubbing my leg over the spot where it itched I noticed how unfamiliar and just plain plain weird this house was. I rearranged my tube top, it just kept falling down, but not all the way thankfully. I can’t remember if Trent mentioned the guy’s name who owned the house. No matter anyways because this was not someplace where you needed to know anybody. There were so many people, who probably weren’t invited, all over. They were in bedrooms, closets, on the stairs, the front lawn, or doing something related to the backyard.
I spotted Trent swirling his keys around those long fingers of his. Mostly I kept seeing him because of his amazingly bright red shirt. His keys this time seemed to be more of a blur this time, it could be because he was across the room, or the beer in his other hand. Something was definitely off about him. Who I wasn’t too keen on at the moment was Jake. He was probably in no need of her attention at the moment; he had his favorite type girls around him. Just like your favorite flavor of ice cream could be vanilla, his favorite flavor of girls was blond, like me, but not me.
My guy that supposed to show up and the reason why I was where I was, finally showed up. He didn’t look me in the eye so I couldn’t get a good a look at his face. He kept a steady demeanor like he knew he could be here and there was no problem with it. “Do you have my money?” he asked in a hurried business like tone, with an edge of danger in it.
“Well I do, if you give me what I came for.” I answered back at him breezily. Not being stupid enough to shove it in his face, I held out a ten dollar bill at half arms length. My eyes beckoned for his end of the bargain. He reached into the folds of his jacket routinely and brought out the white pills, it seemed to me as if they were glowing in the light. I stared at them in my hand as he snatched the ten out of my hand without hesitation and he strode away looking for someone else. I know it’s not good to wash down a pill with alcohol so I reached into my new sparkly shoulder bag. Still not taking my eyes off them I rummaged around for my water. Everything that I had on me at the moment I had purchased myself, so whatever circumstances fell over me would be my own doing. It gave me a sense of power.
**********************************************************************
Jake:
Both Trent and I noticed her at the same time, with the familiar swig of liquid that didn’t bubble up no matter how much you shook it. I felt my stomach twist just the faintest bit when I watched Trent’s face twist even harder into that controlling, evil smile of his. I wonder how some smiles could even be considered smiles with their meanings that they have. Maybe it was more of a smirk than a smile after all. Why did Trent feel like he had to keep doing this to girls? Same stupid party he had his dealer brother throw. Not that many kids even knew about Brandon, who used parties as business, going around selling off everything from powder to pills and whatnot.
I just don’t believe that the one girl I tell Trent I really like he tries to go after. Shiane had a good personality and was great overall, but she was hot too. I love the way she can make me laugh when she tries. Even her smile of satisfaction from cracking a smile out of me seems to shine; it just fills me full of some certain lust.
But how can I bash about Trent, who I’ve known since preschool, for some chick who I met five weeks ago? Yeah, I have been keeping track of when I met her, so maybe she is a little special. But three years ago I made a pact with Trent to always be on his side, but that was Jerry’s fault. When he died three years ago that was just some thing else. Trent’s starting to at least use the pact and tell me things, like a whole bunch of crap about how his dad is cheating on his mom and all. It doesn’t really surprise me that much though, and I can tell that Trent is going to be just like his dad one day, I can just tell.
The girls sitting all over me should be someone Trent would be more interested in; they were more of the swinger type like him. They were all blond; a love that both Trent and I share is the love of blonds. Even though Shiane was blond, which was another good thing about her, but was just a coincidence. Everything about her was just beneficial to me.
These girls that chose to pin me down with their skimpy outfits and their twig like bodies were getting annoying. So I chose to get up because it wasn’t like I was enjoying their bony legs sprawled over mine. The twins Brandy and Brenda got this concerned look on their faces like I had to ask them if I could move. “What’s wrong, where are you going?” Brenda asked in a babyish tone, asking for him to stay.
“I thought you liked us.” Brandy said in a matching tone, with nothing better to say.
“Well I do,” I said quickly as an idea started to spark and flicker on in my mind. “That’s why I’m going to take you two lovely ladies to Tent, you know him right?” The two lovely matching girls nodded their heads. “Well tonight I was supposed to find some girls for him to have, you know? Because he trusts me that much.”
“Oh really, that sounds cool. Well Brandy should we?” Brenda asked her for confirmation.
“Sure, it sounds like fun, he looks hot too.” Brandy said as I pointed him out. She was obviously a follower in most situations. Sometimes I could almost be as cruel and as manipulating as Trent. At least it could be used in a good way, as in situations such as this. As I led them over to him I could sense Trent’s smirk being directed in my way instead of Shiane’s, which was a good thing. If it wasn’t then I don’t know what is. When I got over to Trent he was all smiles. I couldn’t tell if he knew I was going to hand them off to him, or if he was proud of me for picking them up myself.
“Hey Jake, who’s this?” Trent asked looking behind Jake at the twins like a hungry dog. Then out of no where he was the one Trent had been talking to. Brandon was rubbing his hands together looking just as menacing as Trent was.
“Trent this is Brandy and Brenda. Girls this is Trent and his brother Brandon.” I introduced them, anxious to get the exchange over with.
“Oh my God, we have, like almost the same name.” Brandy excitedly exclaimed to Brandon. Her mom probably named her after her favorite drink while she was pregnant. Brenda’s name just had a few different letters so it went along smoothly.
“Oh yeah, we do, huh. You also seem to have the same good looks as me too.” Brandon informed her with a smile, noting her condition of not thinking for herself. Brandy smiled a flirty smile that told him she was interested.
“Would you both like to follow us down to the basement?” Trent asked finally taking control of the situation. The blonds both nodded as Brandy linked her arm into Brandon’s and Trent put his arm around Brenda’s waist. “And thanks for your service.” Trent thanked me as he turned his head around from leading the girls away. I waved and gave him one of those guy to guy smiles when you know they’re going to score. Those poor girls, they had no idea what they were getting into. At least the wouldn’t remember it was me who introduced them. That was the last I saw of them that night.
***********************************************************************
Shiane:
I had started people watching again, but soon found out myself staring again. I was just being a lazy people watcher; I wasn’t planning on staring at anybody. Then I started having this weird uncontrollable daydream about this dumb kid I was staring at. He was okay; he had a thin dark mustache, jeans and a black shirt with some kind of logo on it. I almost started laughing at myself but it came out in more of a sort of upbeat and high pitched sigh. He probably had some preppy little bitch of a girlfriend that was so unrealistically sweet it almost makes you want to throw up. I am not into guys who are into that.
I adjusted my falling tube top once again and clicked open my compact mirror. There was still a thick coat of blue mascara and sparkly dark blue eye shadow. Some sudden urge came over me to check my phone, as it often does. Even though I try to constrict my phone usage outside of school to emergency situations, but it always escapes me. I sat there texting some guy that was obviously going to get me into some kind of disaster. I always seem to ignore my own feelings and go more on selfish, unthinking impulse. So as the sparkling rhinestones that covered my phone shone in the mysterious strobe lights coming from the ceiling I started typing slowly. And within seconds I found myself mindlessly hitting the send button, sending off the message and all hope of any distraction to stop me from doing it altogether.
I tried to look for Trent to see if he would be checking his phone, but he was nowhere to be found. He had vanished into the crowd somehow and was gone from sight. That was somehow a good thing, because if I couldn’t see him, then he couldn’t see me either, and I could slip out without confrontation. Then I remembered something that was just a little bit more important than planning my escape; Trent had given his phone to Jake so he could hold onto it. What am I supposed to do? How was Jake going to take a message from me to his best friend asking what he wanted to do tonight? I could avoid all questions, or cover for it by saying I meant to send it to him, but that would mean that I would have to go looking for him. If I said that I meant to send it to Trent, and knew he had the phone he would think I was a jerk. I thought about what Sophie would do in this situation, even though she would never be in this situation, so I was lost.
***********************************************************************
Jake:
I only got a few steps away from the door when one of my pockets started buzzing. It was to annoying to ignore so I placed my hand over whatever was buzzing, I knew it wasn’t my phone because I had left mine at home. It was Trent’s phone, but he gave it to me so I could look after it, so I should be able to answer it without being in the wrong. I flipped it open and staring back at me in the lit up screen was a new text from Shiane. I hope it would be something like her saying she wanted to go home and she needed a ride or something like that.
It wasn’t at all like that so it got me a little confused trying to figure out what it meant exactly. Was she aware that I had his phone and meant to send it to me, or was she really trying to send it to Trent? What exactly did the text mean anyways? Was it an innocent text or something meant to be thought of as something more?
A fog coming from the usable table, for it had to many people crowded around it to see what was on it, came my way and tried to choke me. So I decided a more comfortable place was to be outside. I strode out of the room, swinging open the door as I went not caring if it closed or not, and walked over to a tree in the front yard. It was a shady tree so that not many people could see me, so I felt more relaxed. I took out my lighter. I liked just looking into the orange flame and let my mind drift. I wonder what would happen if I replied to Shiane, or if I just went to go talk to her.
***********************************************************************
Shiane:
I felt kind of screwed, but also there was a sense of control. It all just depended on what I was going to do about the whole Jake situation. Some wave of nausea came over me that made me feel like I was about to spew right here and now. I shook my head trying to clear it, but it had about the same affect as shaking up a snow globe. All my thoughts became tiny sprinkles and became out of place and flipped. So I harnessed my super powers and got control of my thoughts so I could put them back long enough to make it to the bathroom.
On the way over I thought about how the people here, so far, accepted me. It so badly needs to stay that way, and it will. I was not going to just slip up like this and throw myself a curve ball just because of this whole text message thing. I couldn’t go through any of this ever again, even though this time there hopefully wouldn’t be any real fire, as beaten and as broken as I am I don’t think that I could escape that again.
I moved closer to the stairs and was glad at the movement to the side as the stair dwelling people cleared a little path for me. I was respected, and it was great on the social interaction part when people respected you, because they would do things for you that they just wouldn’t do for anybody. I don’t think they would mind as much a little upchucking as unrespectable as doing something with Trent. The couples making out didn’t even give me any dirty looks for disturbing them, but that must have been both me mouthing sorry for the disturbance and combination of the two. At the top of the stairs I just had to stop though; there were so many doors I just had to stare for a minute and look around. Most of them seemed to be closed, some even still opened, and occupied. Ewe. Who would really want to see their friends getting it on in someone else’s house? Only people at a guy party, so this was definitely a guy’s house, or a guy using someone else’s house for a party anyways.
