*note*
One day I asked myself, "Do crazy people know that they're crazy?" and went from there.
*note*
Ayo, G... Let me tell you the story about the time I almost got the perfect girl. "Almost" is the key word.
It starts off with me running out this hospital, right. I was running because I was just so happy to get out that I couldn't just walk down the street. So anyways, as I turn this corner, I run right into this girl knocking her down. I was kind of in a hurry so I thought about just taking off and leaving her down there. But then... I took a good look at her. She was literally the most gorgeous thing I had seen in about five years. I mean, how much joy can you get from looking at the same padded walls all day every day?
So I help her up and apologized. I couldn't let someone so beautiful jut walk away so I asked if I could make it up to her in the form of a date of some sort. To my fortune she said yes. I was completely surprised due to the fact that the only woman I remember talking to was the security guard who slipped in my lunch under the door.
We had set the date to Saturday. I meant for it to be the next day but appearently she has this "job" thing that takes up her week days. I thought she was lying. I thought she was just scared of me like all the others. But then she asked for my phone number. I wondered why. She could be working for the government and was trying to spy on me. So instead I told her that I'd call her. She gave me her number and I told her that it better not be a send off or else some consequences would happen. For some odd reason, she started laughing. I guess she thought it was a joke but I was serious. We said our goodbyes and all and I continued running down the street. I lost a little time by talking to her.
The next day, I called her and she actually picked up. That was lucky for her because I was sitting outside her house just in case it was a send off. She didn't seem so happy to hear from me at the time. She did, though, keep bringing up the fact that it was 3:00 in the morning but it didn't matter to me. I hadn't slept in days so I don't know why she was complaining so much. The conversation we had was wonderful. We hit on all the right subjects and topics. From what I was hearing, she had a good head on her shoulders, smart, had common sense, and had a sense of humor that was out of this world. The phone conversation was cut short because she claims that she had to got to "work."
I waited in her neighbor's bushes to see if she really had to go somewhere or if she was just trying to get me off the phone. I had to leave the bushes for a second to take the newspaper from her doorstep. It had a certain article in it that I didn't want her to see. Turns out, she actually did leave her house at the time she said and went to the job she said she worked at. I followed her there and back to make sure she got back home safely. You can't really trust these weirdos out here.
This little cycle continued until that Saturday we had our date. I had to cut the phone calls in the mornings because I only had so much change to put in that pay phone. A couple times I went into her house when she was at work to watch for burgerlers and house fires and whatnot. It also gave me a chance to see what she was wearing for out date. I had to make sure that she wasn't underdressed for the resturant.
Finally, when I had made sure that nothing could go wrong, it was time to go on a date with this perfect woman. I had to "convince" this one store clerk to let me borrow one of his suits and some of his money. He was less than cooperative so I got real angry. After I woke up, I found myself outside the resturant, fully dressed with roses in my hand. I wondered how long I had been standing there. Depending on if she was late or not determined how her life would go from now on. I looked the watch that wasn't there before and found that I was early.
She showed up to the spot exactly on time, looking better than I had dreamed all that week. Everything was just perfect. We got in the resturant and ordered our food. She thought it was cute how we both ordered the exact same thing. The fact that she ordered first had nothing to do with it. I made a mental note to deal with the waiter later. He made my steak medium when I ordered medium-well. But other than that, our first date was going great. It did make me a little uncomfortable how everyone was looking at me. They must have seen me on the news lately.
But... in spite of all the good, there had to be someone to ruin it. In the middle of an amusing conversation, Dylan came out of nowhere. I thougth I had shut hum up last Monday but I guess not. He cut me off in the middle of a joke to tell her all my buisness. He told her about my , paranoia, the people I remember killing, OCD, schizophrenia, turrets syndrome, and my allergy to mashed potatoes. He told her literally everything. He even went as far to show her the newspaper that announced my escape from the mental hospital. Earlier he saw a news story that said I was "armed and dangerous." Guess what... he told her about that too. I tried to explain that I threw the gun away but Dylan wouldn't let me get a word in.
So after Dylan explained all that unnecessary information, she decided that it was time for her to leave. Dylan kept telling people to call the cops and to run away from me. The cops got there around the time I was choking the girl for trying to leave me. Along with them were my friends with the long-sleeved white jackets that fit so well. After a five minute hostage situation, Dylan finally convinced me to let her live.
So here I am, back in the hospital. I'm so effin mad now I could just kill somebody. Dylan's lucky that me and him are the same person or I'd be kicking his ass right about now.
