The Moment

Most of us that live in the moment are lost,
and it seems the only way to find yourself it to be done with it,
for nobody who makes your life feel special seems to care anymore.

To everyone in the world there is one thing in common,
the desire to be loved,
when this is not lived out people get even more lost.

So we have started manipulating ourselves into temporary love that seizes the moment,
and this momentary love will never run out,
because of everyone's desire to be loved,
or they will chose to be no more,
to be no more is not to be silently in the background,
but to disappear completely.

To us that live in the moment the week is so fast,
and the day is so slow,
the only thing that matters is the slow.

The moment in which we live in is all that applies,
rather to die than have no more love,
in all that we have,
the moment.

Okay let's do this:

Most of us that live in the moment are lost,
and it seems the only way to find yourself it to end it all,
for nobody who makes your life feel special seems to care anymore.

"It to end it all"? It makes no sense, I suppose you meant "Is to end it all", but nevertheless you need to go over your work before you post it. On the third line I thought the rhythm went off a bit.

But sometimes they do care,
just you don't care yourself.

I enjoyed the power of this statement, well done.

To everyone in the world there is one thing in common,
the desire to be loved,
when this is not lived out people get even more lost.

I'm beginning to think perhaps some subtle rhymes may help you out.

So we have started manipulating ourselves into temporary love that seizes the moment,
and this momentary love will never run out,
because of everyone's desire to be loved,
or they will chose to be no more,
to be no more is not to be silently in the background,
but to disappear completely.

You had an unfortunate repetition of the word "love" in here.

To us that live in the moment the week is so fast,
and the day is so slow,
the only ting that matters is the slow.

My main problem here is "ting", which I'm guessing is "thing" and your use of the word "slow" in the second and third lines.

The moment in which we live in is all that applies,
rather to die than have no more love,
in all that we have,
the moment.

Aside from your second stanza, this is really my favorite part of the poem. Word choices are clean and it makes a statement, I would rewrite this and focus on your second stanza and the last one.

Happy Editing!

Ringo_rules has pointed out most of the main typos and grammatical errors with the piece so I won't chase you up on that. Other than the confusion, I think there's real potential in this. I jut seems to fall short of the mark of brilliance however, and I'm having trouble trying to work out why. Of course, there is the problem of 'telling' us your thoughts and opinions so that the reader feels like they are listening to a 'yell' instead of a 'whisper' which in my opinion poetry should be. However you raise some good points. I especially like this one:

The moment in which we live in is all that applies,

rather to die than have no more love,

in all that we have,

the moment.

That's great. Just try to iron out the creases in the punctuation, spelling area and perhaps make the message a little more subtle. Other than that, great.

Eimear